Читаем Kill the Dead полностью

“Of course, you’re not actually stepping into the clock, but through it. A kind of time membrane that opens into the room. I don’t know if the room is forward or backward in time, but I’m sure it’s one of those.”

“I’ll try it. Thanks.”

“Thank you. And Mr. Macheath.”

“How are you feeling right now?”

“Wonderful, sir. Thank you for asking.”

“Yeah, that’s going to wear off in a while, so enjoy it while it lasts.”

“Thank you. I will.”

I go to the elevator and get out on the top floor. The grandfather clock is where he said it would be. I don’t pick up any hoodoo from it, so I open the front and grab the pendulum.

One. Two. Three.

I push the pendulum to the side and step through.

And come out in a room so big, so stuffed with golden statues, marble, and antiques, that Caligula would think it’s tacky.

“You’re late.”

Lucifer stands by a marble pillar as big around as a redwood. A tailor is marking his suit with chalk, doing a final fitting.

“I would have been here early if you and Kasabian weren’t playing name games with me.”

“You should have noticed that little detail before or factored in more time to work it out when you arrived.”

“Kas said you hated it when people were late.”

“I hate when people I pay aren’t doing their best work. You’re a smarter boy than you act, Jimmy. You need to start taking things more seriously.”

“I’m taking this room seriously. This is what Liberace’s nightmares must have looked like.”

Lucifer turns around and looks at me. He’s an angel, so I can’t read him at all.

He tilts his head slightly and says, “Love the coat. Are you on your way to the O.K. Corral?”

I nod.

“Yeah, it’s a little Doc Holliday, but it’s called a rifle coat for a reason. I can hide a double-barreled shotgun under here. Or do you want me in slippers and a sweater vest, fighting off your enemies with a hot cocoa?”

“Not now, but when you come back down below, I hope you’ll fight that way in the arena.”

“Is that why you’re here? To take me back?”

He frowns.

“No, no. That was just a terrible joke. Forgive me.”

He turns to the tailor.

“We’re done for tonight.”

The tailor gives him a small bow and helps Lucifer take off the half-finished jacket and pants. Suddenly I’m alone in a room with the Prince of Darkness in his underwear. I wouldn’t have pegged him for a boxers guy.

Actually, he’s still wearing a silk maroon shirt and he slips on a pair of pressed black slacks folded over the back of a chair. I can’t get into Lucifer’s mood or mind the way I can with humans, but I can see him move. As he pulls on pants, he makes the tiniest imaginable move with his shoulders. He flinches, almost like he’s in pain. I look over at a statue of a headless woman with wings before he turns around.

“Would you like a drink?”

I don’t turn right away.

“That sounds great.”

“I have some Aqua Regia, but I hear that’s not such a rare thing for you these days.”

“No. Are you the one sending it up?”

“Don’t be stupid. I pay you enough to take care of your own vices. I’d like to know who is importing the stuff.”

“You don’t know?”

“I have a fairly full plate at the moment what with your friend Mason trying to turn my armies against me. Or hadn’t you heard?”

“Tell the truth, the revolution was already going when he got there. He just jumped on the crazy train.”

“And I have you to thank for that.”

“I didn’t plan it, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“I would never accuse you of planning things. Come over and sit down.”

I follow him to an area where chairs and sofas are grouped together, facing one another. I sit on a leather easy chair. It’s the most comfortable piece of furniture in the universe. My ass wants to divorce me and marry it.

“So, Jimmy, killed anyone interesting lately?”

“No. The ones I killed today were already dead and just needed reminding.”

“I’m sure they appreciated that.”

“No one complained.”

“What flavor of undead were they?”

“Vampires.”

“Young ones? God, I hate them.”

Lucifer lights up a Malediction. I know he wants me to ask for one, so I don’t.

“Why are you up here? Shouldn’t you be Downtown spanking the guilty and slaughtering your generals? Or are you taking early retirement so you can spend more time with the grandkids?”

“Nothing so dramatic. I’m in town doing some consulting work.”

“What kind?”

“Why does anyone come to L.A.?”

“To kill people.”

“No, that’s just you. Normal people come here to get into the movies.”

“You’re in a movie?”

“Of course not. I’m here as a technical adviser. A producer friend is in preproduction for a big-budget film of my life story.”

“Please tell me you’re bringing Ed Wood back from the dead to direct it.”

“This is strictly an A-list project. I’m disappointed, Jimmy. I thought you’d be more excited. You love movies.”

“Why do you need a biopic? About half the movies ever made are horror flicks and aren’t all horror flicks really about you? So, you already have about ten thousand movies.”

“But those are metaphorical. Even the ones where I’m depicted, it’s never really me. This will be the real thing. The true story. My side of the story.”

Перейти на страницу:

Похожие книги

Неправильный лекарь. Том 2
Неправильный лекарь. Том 2

Начало:https://author.today/work/384999Заснул в ординаторской, проснулся в другом теле и другом мире. Да ещё с проникающим ножевым в грудную полость. Вляпался по самый небалуй. Но, стоило осмотреться, а не так уж тут и плохо! Всем правит магия и возможно невозможное. Только для этого надо заново пробудить и расшевелить свой дар. Ого! Да у меня тут сюрприз! Ну что, братцы, заживём на славу! А вон тех уродов на другом берегу Фонтанки это не касается, я им обязательно устрою проблемы, от которых они не отдышатся. Ибо не хрен порядочных людей из себя выводить.Да, теперь я не хирург в нашем, а лекарь в другом, наполненным магией во всех её видах и оттенках мире. Да ещё фамилия какая досталась примечательная, Склифосовский. В этом мире пока о ней знают немногие, но я сделаю так, чтобы она гремела на всю Российскую империю! Поставят памятники и сочинят баллады, славящие мой род в веках!Смелые фантазии, не правда ли? Дело за малым, шаг за шагом превратить их в реальность. И я это сделаю!

Сергей Измайлов

Самиздат, сетевая литература / Городское фэнтези / Попаданцы