Junior Year Box Set

This morning I forced myself to get up by nine and go to church with Mom. I was feeling the effects, but I felt much better than I did yesterday. I wanted to get some exercise in today. A good run always put me in a better mood. I’m sure if I asked Uncle John, he could give me a medical reason why that was.

Today we had a sermon from our youth pastor, Keith. It’s funny, sometimes, how a sermon will speak to you. Pastor Keith’s sermon was about finding the right person.

“I’m 22, and I want to talk to you today about dating. Being single, I’ve dated a few girls who just weren’t right for me. When I was sixteen, I was just happy a girl would go out with me. I had my heart broken a number of times during that time. One I even thought might be the one. I found out at Senior Prom that she was someone else’s one.

“It took me a year to get back into the game. My pastor encouraged me and told me that the right girl was out there. He gave me some advice on dating that I would like to share with you today. What I would suggest is that you need to become more selective before you decide to date someone. If I’d done that with many of my girlfriends in high school, I could have avoided a lot of pain. However, I will warn you that being selective may limit the number of girls or boys you will want to date. Just because he or she makes your heart go pitter-pat does not mean they’re the one. What being selective does is give you a much better chance to find a quality person with whom you can build a relationship.

“I want to be clear to my teen audience, finding the one who will be your lifelong significant other is not going to happen. Dating should be about enjoying each other’s company and respecting them. I’m older, and I still go on dates with young women with fun being the goal. But I am starting to transition into wanting a more meaningful relationship.

“How do you figure out if you should date someone? I’m going to give you some questions I think will help you increase your chances of finding someone who’s a fit. Please recognize that even if they pass all the initial tests, you still might get your heart broken.

“I can see some of the old married folk nodding off because they think this doesn’t pertain to them. I ask you to imagine how, with God’s help, you might want to pass this knowledge on to your children or grandchildren. Don’t you want them to be happy? It’s easy to point out the mistakes our youth make. Wouldn’t it be better to help and/or guide them to a better way?

“Here are the questions I want you to ask yourself about someone you are considering dating.

1) How well do you know them? I would suggest that it’s easier to date someone who you know than someone you just met.

2) How do they treat others? Do they gossip? People who serve them, like waitstaff, ticket takers, or anyone else in the service industry … are they treated with respect? If they gossip, they will gossip about you. If they mistreat others, expect that they will treat you the same.

3) Do they drink? Do drugs? Swear? Whom do they hang out with? This information can give you insight into what you’re in for.

4) Do they like the same things you do? Movies, books, activities, and the like.

5) Do they believe in God? Don’t shy away from this question. It can save you a lot of heartaches later on.

6) When you are with them, is everything about them, or are they interested in you? A relationship has two sides.

7) Do you trust them? If you tell them something in confidence, will it stay that way? If you can’t expect to trust them, I wouldn’t advise going out with them.

8) Do they stand up for others? This tells you they will stand up for you if the need ever arises. Or do they throw people to the wolves? Maybe they just stand back and watch events unfold.

9) They say opposites attract, but not on anything that matters.

10) Is there a physical attraction? If they don’t increase your heart rate, you might want to take a pass.

“Finally, I find it helps to ask for God’s help and pray about it. He will help guide you if you open your heart to him,” Pastor Keith said in summation.

I smiled because this reminded me a lot of what Uncle John had said about the circles of trust.

◊◊◊

After brunch, I finally drove the Demon. The Hellcat had been phenomenal. The Demon was the Hellcat on steroids. I found a country road where I knew I would be alone so I could see what it could do. On launch—it was not just a start, but an actual launch—the front wheels came off the ground, and it popped a wheelie. I understood why they’d installed racing seatbelts and not the regular across-the-chest-and-lap version. I felt I might have to buy a helmet to drive it.