Junior Year Box Set

“Okay, the final part of this is at least as important as the rest of it. Once you’ve got this perspective in place, how are you going to use it? How’s it going to guide you or help you in the future?”

“You have to develop a plan, or plans, for how you will deal with the people in each circle on your page. What those plans are will be unique to each of you. For some people, you may even have to devise a specific strategy for each particular person. Whatever it is, though, your approach to dealing with them will very likely be different from mine or anyone else’s.

“For example, consider people you don’t know or who you meet on the street or at a party. Most of us likely will be perfectly fine with just ignoring them or dealing with them on a friendly level. We’ll do that without letting them into our personal space until we know them better.

“That won’t work for David, though. He’s already had several experiences with people who’ve approached him at parties, or when surfing or wherever. These people have wanted to use him, or even wanted to harm him in some way. Where most of us have nothing to worry about, David has to wear a body camera to keep people honest,” Uncle John said, explaining the reality of fame.

Phil and Greg looked at me like they’d never seen me before. I know they were at least partially aware of some of what I went through, but now it was in their faces.

“In some ways, I guess it really does suck to be you,” Phil finally blurted.

I gave him a sad smile.

“Welcome to my world.”

Uncle John decided it was time to wrap it up.

“I’m not saying you have to come up with a plan or strategy tonight, but I want each of you to think about it over this week. Put names into each circle until you believe you’ve got it covered, especially the innermost ones. Then write out a plan for how you’ll interact with people in each circle. Each of you can come and talk with me at any time about what you’re doing. In fact, I expect you to talk with me privately at least once this week. If you don’t want to go through this exercise and do it right, that’s your business. It makes no difference at all to me and my life. But it could make a huge difference to you and your life, so you might want to take this seriously and give it the effort it deserves.”

Uncle John looked around at us. It was obvious we were all a bit wrung out.

“I’m going to wrap this up for this afternoon, and for the week, by leaving you with just a few sayings I’ve picked up over the years. Think about them. Roll them around in your brain. Talk to me about them or about anything else we’ve talked about if you want. But mainly, consider whether these sayings might have a place in your life. Here’s the list,” he said, handing out another sheet of paper.

To have good friends, you must be a good friend. That means you must be there for them if they really need you. You must have their back. You must keep their confidences by not sharing with others any information that’s not yours to share. And you need to share the joys and the sorrows along the way.

To truly be a close friend to someone, you must be ready to forgive his or her one great flaw.

Forgive, but never forget.

Trust, but verify.

Use the past to guide you, but never let the past rule you.

And finally, once again: If you don’t believe in yourself, why should anybody else believe in you?

“There are times when you’ll find that people you thought you could trust might not have your best interests at heart. Who you let into your circles of trust, and how deeply you let them in, is important. The circles of trust are not all about keeping people out, it’s also about who you let in,” Uncle John said as he stood up. “Now go have a great rest of the week. I’ll be happy to talk with you as questions come up.”

Great! A guys’ week and we had homework.

◊◊◊

We decided to wait to go fishing again until later. I was starting to worry that Dad and Uncle John were getting old because they seemed to need naps. Greg took Phil to go play some pool, while Paul did his own thing. I got my tablet out and continued reading one of the novels I’d downloaded. When I was younger, I would read at least one if not two books a week. It was something I missed.

After about an hour of reading, I was bored, so I got out a sheet of paper to do the homework assignment Uncle John had given us. I found my inner circle was a surprisingly short list.