Journey

She finished dressing after that, she was wearing a pale pink gown that looked exquisite with her creamy coloring and dark hair, and she was wearing pale pink topaz earrings that sparkled as she put a pink satin stole over her evening gown, and left her office. Jack had left the car for her, and had taken a company car and driver to the White House.

The Embassy was on Massachusetts Avenue, and it looked as though about a hundred people were there. They were speaking Spanish and Portuguese and French, and there was wonderful samba music in the background. The Brazilian Ambassador and his wife entertained with a lot of elegance and flair, and everyone in Washington loved them. And as she looked around, Maddy was pleased to see Bill Alexander.

“Hello, Maddy,” he said with a warm smile, as he came to stand beside her. “How are you?”

“Fine. How was your weekend?” she asked him. He felt like a friend now, after all they knew about each other.

“It was uneventful. I went up to Vermont to see my kids. My son has a house there. That was an interesting meeting the other day, wasn't it? It's amazing to realize how many of us are touched by domestic violence, or violent crimes, in one way or another. The amazing thing is that we all think everyone else has such a normal life, and it's just not true, is it?” His eyes were a deep blue, almost the same color as hers, but darker, his full head of white hair was neatly combed, and he looked handsome in his dinner jacket. He was about six feet four, and Maddy looked doll-like beside him.

“I learned that a long time ago.” Even the First Lady hadn't been exempt from violence in her childhood. “I used to feel so guilty because of my youth, and I still do sometimes, but at least I understand that it happens to other people too. But somehow, you always feel like it's your fault.”

“I guess the trick is understanding that it's not. At least not in your case. When I came back to Washington, at first I felt as though everyone who looked at me was either saying or thinking that I killed Margaret.” She looked surprised by what he'd said, and looked up at him gently as she asked the next question.

“Why would you think that?”

“Because I think I did. I realize only too well now that what I did was very foolish.”

“It might have come out the same way anyway, it probably would have. Terrorists don't play fair, Bill. You know that.”

“It's a little hard to absorb when the price to pay is someone you love. I don't know if I'll ever really understand it, or accept it.” He was so open and so honest with her, and she liked him even better for it. And everything about him suggested that he was a gentle person.

“I don't think violence can be understood,” Maddy said softly. “What I dealt with was a whole lot simpler, and I don't think I ever really understood it either. Why would anyone want to do that to a person? And why did I let him?”

“No options, no choices, no exits, no one to help you, nowhere to turn. Does any of that sound right?” he asked thoughtfully, and she nodded. He seemed to have a perfect grasp on the situation. Far more so than her husband, or a lot of people.

“I think you've got it just right,” she smiled at him. “What do you think about Iraq?” she asked, changing the subject.

“That it's a damn shame we had to go back in there. It's a no-win situation, and I think the public is going to be asking hard questions. Particularly if we start losing boys at the rate we did this weekend.” She agreed with him completely, in spite of Jack's certainty that he could put a spin on it that would make people buy it and continue to support the President's action. Jack was a lot more optimistic about it than she was. “I hated to see us do it,” Bill went on. “I think people are afraid the gain isn't enough to warrant the losses.” She wanted to tell him that he could thank Jack for that, but she didn't. Maddy was glad to hear Bill agree with her and they chatted for a little while, and he asked her what her plans were for the summer.

“I'm not sure yet. I have a story to finish. But my husband hates making plans. He just tells me when to pack my suitcase, usually the day we're leaving.”

“Well, that must keep life interesting,” Bill said with a smile, wondering how she did that. Most people needed more warning. He couldn't help wondering too how her kids felt about it. “Do you have children?”

She hesitated for a fraction of an instant before she answered. “No, I don't actually.” But it didn't really surprise him. She was young and had a demanding career, and she still had lots of time ahead of her to have children. And it was hardly party conversation to tell him that she couldn't, that it had been a condition of Jack marrying her to have her tubes tied.

“At your age, you have lots of time to think about children.” And knowing what he did, he couldn't help wondering if her traumatic childhood had made her postpone having children. In her case, he would certainly have understood that.