He stared glumly at the floor. He quite liked the job of a water buffalo string holder. It sounded nearly as good as the profession of castaway. He longed for the kind of life where you could really
He wanted to say: how can you be so nice and yet so dumb? The best thing you can do with the peasants is leave them alone. Let them get on with it. When people who can read and write start fighting on behalf of people who can't, you just end up with another kind of stupidity. If you want to help them, build a big library or something somewhere and leave the door open.
But this is Hunghung. You can't think like that in Hunghung. This is where people have learned to do what they're told. The Horde worked that one out.
The Empire's got something worse than whips all right. It's got obedience. Whips in the soul. They obey anyone who tells them what to do. Freedom just means being told what to do by someone different.
You'll all be killed.
I'm a coward. And even ,' know more about fights than you do. I've run away from some really good ones.
'Oh, let's just get out of here,' he said. He gingerly took the sword from a dead guard and held it the right way round on the second attempt. He weighed it for a second, then shook his head and threw it away.
The cadre looked a lot happier.
'But I'm not leading you,' said Rincewind. 'I'm just showing you the way. And it's the way
They stood wearing rather bruised looks, as people do who've been subject to several minutes' ranting. No-one spoke, until Twoflower whispered:
'He often goes on like this, you know. And then he does something very brave.'
Rincewind snorted.
There was another dead guard at the top of the stairs. Sudden death seemed to be catching.
And, leaning against the wall, was a bundle of swords. Tied to it was a scroll.
The Great Wizard has shown us the way for only two minutes and already we have extra luck,' said Lotus Blossom.
'Don't touch the swords,' said Rincewind.
'But supposing we see more guards? Should we not resist them with every drop of our life's blood?' said Butterfly.
Rincewind looked blank. 'No. Run away.'
'Ah, yes,' said Twoflower. 'And live to fight another day. That is an Ankh-Morpork saying.'
Rincewind had always assumed that the purpose of running away was to be able to run away another day.
'However,' he said, 'people don't usually find themselves mysteriously let out of prison with a bunch of weapons handily close by and all the guards out of action. Ever thought of that?'
'And with a map!' said Butterfly.
Her eyes shone. She flourished the scroll.
'It's a map of the way out?' said Rincewind.
'No! To the Emperor's chambers! Look, it has been marked! That's what Herb used to talk about sometimes! He must be in the palace! We should assassinate the Emperor!'
'More luck!' said Twoflower. 'But look, you know, I'm sure if we talked to him—'
'Haven't you been listening? We are
'No,' said Butterfly. 'We must make the most of this opportunity.'
There will be lots of guards!'
'Well, Great Wizard, you'll have a lot of wishing to do.'
'You think I can snap my fingers like
'These two out here have,' Lotus Blossom reported, from the entrance to the dungeons. She was already in awe of Rincewind. Now she looked positively terrified.
'Coincidence!'
'Let's be serious,' said Butterfly. 'We have a sympathizer in the palace. Perhaps it is someone risking their lives every moment! We know some of the eunuchs are on our side.'
They've got nothing left to lose, I suppose.'
'You have a better idea, Great Wizard?'
'Yes. Back into the cells.'
'What?'
'This smells wrong. Would you
Butterfly hesitated.
'We've often talked about it. Two Fire Herb said that if we could assassinate the Emperor we would light the torch of freedom...'
'Yes. It'd be you, burning. Look, get back in the cells. It's the safest place. I'll lock you in and... scout.'
'That's a very brave suggestion,' said Twoflower. 'And typical of the man,' he added proudly.
Butterfly gave Rincewind a look he'd come to dread.
'It
'Oh, but it's bound to be... very dangerous,' said Rincewind quickly.