Interesting Times

'A good idea, but impractical,' said Mr Saveloy. 'And liable to cause comment. No, my current methodology is predicated on the fact that Hunghung is some considerable way from the river yet has almost a million inhabitants.'

'Predicated, yeah,' said Cohen.

'And the local geography is quite wrong for artesian wells.'

'Yeah, 's what I thought...'

'And yet there is no visible aqueduct, you notice.'

'No aqueduct, right,' said Cohen. 'Prob'ly flown to the Rim for the summer. Some birds do that.'

'Which rather leads me to doubt the saying that not even a mouse can get into the Forbidden City,' said Mr Saveloy, with just a trace of smugness. 'I suspect a mouse could get into the Forbidden City if it could hold its breath.'

'Or ride on one of them invisible ducks,' said Cohen.

'Indeed.'

The cart stopped. The sack came off. Instead of the cheesegrater Rincewind was secretly expecting, the view consisted of a couple of young, concerned faces. One of them was female, but Rincewind was relieved to see that she wasn't Pretty Butterfly. This one looked younger, and made Rincewind think a little of potatoes.

'How are you?' she said, in fractured but recognizable Morporkian. 'We are very sorry. All better now? We speak you in language of celestial city of Ankh-More-Pork. Language of freedom and progress. Language of One Man, One Vote!'

'Yes,' said Rincewind. A vision of Ankh-Morpork's Patrician floated across his memory. One man, one vote. Yes. 'I've met him. He's definitely got the vote. But—'

'Extra Luck To The People's Endeavour!' said the boy. 'Advance Judiciously!' He looked as though he'd been built with bricks.

'Excuse me,' said Rincewind, 'but why did you... a paper lantern for ceremonial purposes... bale of cotton... rescue me? Uh, that is, when I say rescue, I suppose I mean: why did you hit me on the head, tie me up, and bring me to wherever this is? Because the worst that could have happened to me in the inn was a ding around the ear for not paying for lunch—'

'The worst that would have happened was an agonizing death over several years,' said the voice of Butterfly. She appeared around the cart and smiled grimly at Rincewind. Her hands were tucked demurely in her kimono, presumably to hide the knives.

'Oh. Hello,' he said.

'Great Wizard,' said Butterfly, bowing. 'I you already know, but these two are Lotus Blossom and Three Yoked Oxen, other members of our cadre. We had to bring you here like this. There are spies everywhere.'

'Timely Demise To All Enemies!' said the boy, beaming.

'Good, yes, right,' said Rincewind. 'All enemies, yes.'

The cart was in a courtyard. The general noise level on the other side of the very high walls suggested a large city. Nasty certainty crystallized.

'And you've brought me to Hunghung, haven't you?' he said.

Lotus Blossom's eyes widened.

'Then it are true,' she said, in Rincewind's own language. 'You are the Great Wizard!'

'Oh, you'd be amazed at the things I can foresee,' said Rincewind despondently.

'You two, go and stable the horses,' said Butterfly, not taking her eyes off Rincewind. When they'd hurried away, with several backward glances, she walked up to him.

'They believe,' she said. 'Personally, I have my doubts. But Ly Tin Wheedle says an ass may do the work of an ox in a time of no horses. One of his less convincing aphorisms, I've always thought.'

'Thank you. What is a cadre?'

'Have you heard of the Red Army?'

'No. Well... I heard someone shout something...'

'According to legend, an unknown person known only as the Great Wizard led the first Red Army to an impossible victory. Of course, that was thousands of years ago. But the people believe that he - that is, you - will return to do it again. So... there should be a Red Army ready and waiting.'

'Well, of course, a man can get a little stiff after several thousand years—'

Her face was suddenly level with his own.

'Personally I suspect there has been a misunderstanding,' she hissed. 'But now you're here you'll be a Great Wizard. If I have to prod you every step of the way!'

The other two returned. Butterfly went from snarling tiger to demure doe in an instant.

'And now you must come and meet the Red Army,' she said.

'Won't they be a little smelly—' Rincewind began, and stopped when he saw her expression.