Hostage Zero

Okay, for Boxers a quarter of his body weight, but it was still heavy. Jonathan drew straws with the Big Guy to see who would carry the long-handled bolt cutters-in case they had to snip a padlock-and the Big Guy lost. Jonathan almost felt sorry for him- almost. While Boxers was two times stronger than Jonathan, he was also the only one among them with a rod in his femur where there should have been bone. Jonathan figured that that was countered by the fact that he, Jonathan, had been gut-shot twice in his career and therefore had fewer functioning viscera. He didn’t know what that meant, actually, but it had sounded good at the time.

For his part, Harvey carried an MP5 machine pistol with two hundred spare rounds, plus a sidearm and a shitload of medical supplies. Jonathan had tried to talk him out of some of them, but Harvey had ignored him. In fact, Harvey hadn’t said a dozen words since they’d left the scene of Josie’s shooting.

Finally, Jonathan had insisted that they “soldier up all the way” for this mission, meaning mandatory body armor and helmets. This mission nearly guaranteed CQB-close quarters battle-and he wanted them prepared. As he’d said, “It’s not about comfort, it’s about professionalism. The only way Evan Guinn finds freedom is if we stay alive. And if we have to carry you, we won’t be able to carry him if we need to.”

Jonathan took point on the walk into the jungle, with Harvey in the middle, and Boxers in the rear. After an hour, Jonathan dropped back to walk alongside Harvey. In a real war zone in a real war, it would have been unforgivable, but out here he thought they could afford a little bunching.

Harvey’s silence was bothering him. He seemed to be struggling with the emotion of the fight with Josie. Jonathan had discovered before that medics were wired differently than other soldiers, equally willing to risk their lives-perhaps even more willing-but oddly disconnected from the real business of war, which was killing. For medics, the line that separated good guys and bad guys was refreshingly blurred by the presence of beating hearts on both sides.

Harvey just walked. He kept his jaw clamped tight and his lips pressed into a thin line, as if forcibly locking his anger inside his head.

Finally, Jonathan had had enough. “Okay, Harvey, spill it. What aren’t you saying?”

Harvey glanced at Jonathan, then returned his gaze to the road. “Anything, so far as I can tell.”

Okay, he’d walked into that one. “I need you to tell me that you’re mission capable.”

Harvey cast him a sideward glance and smirked. “By ‘mission capable’ do you mean ‘not about to wig out and frag the commander’?”

“That’ll do as a start,” Jonathan said.

Harvey took his time answering. “Don’t worry about me knowing right from wrong,” he said at last. “Killing’s never been my thing, okay? If I’ve led you to believe otherwise, I apologize. I’m way more about hiding and healing, so if you’re expecting me to do a lot of shooting, you might be disappointed. I might be disappointed. Who knows? And the part about wigging out? I just flat-out don’t know. I hope not. But if I do, I don’t owe you or anybody else an apology. You invited me to this party, remember?”

“I remember,” Jonathan said. And he appreciated the candor.

“And about your leaving that guy to die, well, it’s done. You didn’t ask my permission, and you certainly don’t need my forgiveness. There’s a reason why I was never promoted to a position of leadership in the Marine Corps.”

“Says the man who won the Navy Cross,” Jonathan said.

Harvey laughed. “A fleeting bout of insanity, I assure you.”

“I read the citation.”

“Then you know for certain that it was a fleeting bout of insanity.”

“I know that you repeatedly exposed yourself to heavy enemy fire to pull three critically wounded Marines to safety one at a time.”

Harvey avoided eye contact. “I feel like I’m repeating myself now. Insanity.”

Jonathan wasn’t about to let him get away with that. “You’re not in a Senate hearing now, Harvey. You’re with a guy who’s been there, okay? I know what you did, and I know what it took for you to do it.”

“Well, that makes you one of about three in the world then. Congratulations.” He fell into silence for a long moment, and Jonathan let him have it. He didn’t want to be too direct in looking, but out of his peripheral vision, he thought he might have seen Harvey’s eyes getting moist. No man wants that button pushed.

After a minute or more, Harvey said, “You know, I can point exactly to the moment when I realized I didn’t give a shit anymore. Want to hear about it?”

If it were anyone else in the world, Jonathan’s honest answer would have been no. All things related to touchy-feely and fully bared human emotion left him cold. But he was devoted to valor, and those who exhibited it. “Sure,” he said.