Holder of Lightning

It was more frightening.

The fright overwhelmed her. She turned her head, breaking off the kiss. His breath was warm at her ear. She heard him swallow.

"I'm sorry, Jenna," he said. "I shouldn't have. ."

"Tell me that you have no more secrets, Ennis."

A quiet, tentative laugh. "None that I know of."

"Then tell me that you won’t hurt me the way Coelin did."

His arms closed tight around her, pressing her close. "Not the way he did, no. I can’t promise that I’ll never hurt you, Jenna. But I’ll promise that I’ll love you, for as long as you want me."

"Ennis…" She didn’t know how to say it, to tell him how scared she was of this, how confused. How she didn’t-couldn’t-trust her own feelings, not after Coelin’s betrayal. That the things he had told her about himself did matter, even if she said they didn’t. Her heart pounded against her ribs as if shaking the cage of its confinement; her pulse throbbed in her temples, and the pain of her arm came again, making her close her eyes. She shook her head. "I’m not ready… I don’t know. ."

He nodded. She could see the hurt in his eyes. His hands left her. "Ah," he said. He tried to smile. "I understand," he said. "I do."

She wanted to explain it all to him, but she had no words.

The seals called plaintively below them, and the sun’s disk slipped below the line of the sea.

Chapter 40: The Ri's Request

"JENNA?"

The knock on the door was tentative, and the husky whisper was that of Ennis. Jenna blinked sleepily. It was dark in the room, though dawn was just beginning to paint the sky. Jenna reluctantly put the covers aside and drew her night robe closer around her in the cold air as she sat up.

After their conversation a few days before, she'd hoped he might come to her, that he might begin the conversation again, that he might kiss her and she would let herself open to him. She'd also feared the same thing, not knowing what she wanted.

There was an awkwardness now when they were together, when their arms accidentally brushed. She wanted to be next to him; she was frightened to get too near. Not now. Not this way. . she thought as she moved to the door. No! Let him in. You want the feel of his body on yours, his mouth. . another part of her shouted. She opened the grille in the center of the door and peered through, and all the voices inside died as she saw his face.

"Ennis? What's the matter?"

Ennis' face, candlelit, filled the opening on the other side of the grille, serious and unsmiling. "Moister Cleurach would like to see us in his rooms immediately."

"What's wrong?"

His lips twitched under the beard. "Nothing's wrong. We have.. a visitor. A Riocha from Inish Thuaidh, from the Ri's court in Dun Kill- He's on his way up from the village; a runner was sent ahead to alert us.

Jenna felt her stomach lurch. You can't escape the politics, even here. . "I'll be there as soon as I'm dressed."

Her stomach settled, and the voices returned. She could do it; she could unlatch the door, let him slip inside. . But Ennis gave her no chance to act on the impulse.

"Good. I'll tell Moister Cleurach that you're on

your way. Quickly!" With that, Ennis turned, and she saw the yellow glow of his candle mov-ing off down the corridor.

Moister Cleurach glanced up from his desk as they entered. One of the acolytes was already there with a tray of tea and scones, placing it on a table to one side of the room. He bowed out as Moister Cleurach waved toward the tray, taking a sip from his own cup. If Moister Cleurach knew about the attraction between Ennis and Jenna, he gave no indication, though he looked at them strangely, standing close but not too close to each other. "Have some tea. Get yourselves warm and awake."

"Who’d they send, Moister?" Ennis asked.

A single shoulder lifted. "The runner didn’t know. All he said was that it was a tiarna who claimed to be here at the Ri’s request. And who was anxious enough to get here that he crossed the water at night. He’ll be here soon; I’ve been told the carriage is already at the main gate."

Jenna cupped her right hand around the welcome warmth of the steaming mug. "What does he want?"

"There are still other allegiances among the Brathairs and acolytes," Moister Cleurach answered. "We haven’t been able to eradicate all the spies among us. I’m certain that rumors have left the White Keep and gone to Inish Thuaidh as well as the mainland, saying that the Holder of Lamh Shabhala was here. At least our visitor’s from Thuaidh and not another troopship from one of the tuatha. I’d hoped to have another few weeks to prepare before this started, but it would seem-"

There was a knock at the door. Moister Cleurach sighed. "Would you let him in, Ennis?"

There were a quartet of people in the corridor: three gardai in blue and white, and one other who stepped in through the open door, leaving the gardai behind.

It wasn’t a him. It was a woman.