Hellbent

The cursor blinked.

Van Sciver’s response finally arrived: TOO LATE.

Evan removed his contact lens and fingernails and put them back in the case.

He walked out of the Vault, through his bedroom, down the hall, and across the condo to the kitchen area.

The glass of vodka waited on the island.

He picked it up with a trembling hand.

He drank it.

5

Common Interests Are Important

For the first time in memory, Evan slept in. “Slept” wasn’t quite right, as he was awake at five. But he lay in bed until nine, staring at the ceiling, his mind re-forming around what he had witnessed, like a starfish digesting prey.

At one point he sat up and tried to meditate, but every breath was punctuated not with mindfulness but a red flare of rage.

Finally he went and took a shower. He soaped his right hand and ran it up and down the tile, leaning his weight into the arm to stretch his shoulder. It had been recently injured, and he didn’t want the tendons and ligaments to freeze up.

Afterward he got dressed. Each bureau drawer held stacks of identical items of clothing: dark jeans, gray V-necked T-shirts, black sweatshirts. This morning in particular, it was a relief to move on autopilot, to not make any decisions. Clipping a Victorinox watch fob to his belt loop, he padded down the hall into the kitchen.

The refrigerator held a jar of cocktail olives, a stick of butter, and two vials of Epogen, an anemia med that stimulated the production of red blood cells in the event of a bad bleed. Three contingency saline bags stared back at him from the meat drawer.

His stomach reminded him that he hadn’t eaten in almost a day. His brain reminded him to make a sweep of his various safe houses scattered across L.A. County to take in the mail, change the automated lighting, alter the curtain and blind positions.

He had never wanted to leave his condo less.

There is nothing you could ever do to make me give up that boy.

Behind his front door, he took a deep breath, preparing himself to transition modes. Here at Castle Heights, he was Evan Smoak, importer of industrial cleaning products. Boring by design. He was fit but not noticeably muscular. Neither tall nor short. Just an average guy, not too handsome.

The only person who knew that he was not who he seemed was Mia Hall, the single mother in 12B. She had a light scattering of freckles across her nose and a birthmark on her temple that looked like it had been applied by a Renaissance painter. Because all that wasn’t complicated enough, she was also a district attorney. When it came to Evan’s work, they had settled on an unspoken and uncomfortable policy of don’t ask, don’t tell.

He pressed his forehead to the door, summoning greater resolve.

He’s the best part of me.

He stepped out into the hall, got on the elevator.

On the way down, the car stopped and Lorilee Smithson, 3F, swept in. “Evan. It’s been a while.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Always so formal.”

The third wife to an affluent older gentleman who had recently left her, Lorilee was a vigorous practitioner of cosmetic surgery and body sculpting. She’d been beautiful once, that much was clear, but it was increasingly unnerving how her forehead remained frozen in an approximation of surprise no matter what the rest of her features were doing. She was fifty years old. Or seventy.

She wove her arm through Evan’s and gave it a girlfriendy shake. “There’s a craft class right now — scrapbooking. You should really come. Preserve those childhood memories.”

He looked at her. She had three new lines radiating out from her eyes, faint wrinkles in the shiny skin. They looked pretty. They made her face look lived in. Next week they’d be gone, her face ratcheted even tighter, a tomato about to burst.

He contemplated the least number of syllables he could make that would get her to stop talking.

He said, “I’m not really a big scrapbooker.”

She squeezed his arm in hers. “C’mon. You have to try new things. At least that’s what I’m doing. I’m going through a transition right now, as you might have heard.”

Evan had heard but had absolutely no idea how to reply to her. Was this one of those times that people said, “I’m sorry”? Wasn’t that a stupid thing to tell someone whose asshole husband had left her? “It’ll get easier” sounded equally platitudinous.

Fortunately, Lorilee wasn’t much for silences. “I’m getting out there again, you know? Been seeing a new guy — a wedding photographer. But it’s hard to tell if he really likes me for me or if he just likes my money.”

She pursed her inflated lips and gave his arm another little shake.

He patted her wrist, using the gesture as subterfuge to disentangle himself from her. But when he did, his hand came away powdery with tan dust. He looked down at her arm and saw the bruise marks she’d tried to conceal. Three finger-size marks from where someone had grabbed her.