Granny Dan

“How long has she been here?” he asked with interest. He was fascinated by her, she was like a rare, delicate bird who had landed at his feet with a broken wing, and now he wanted to do everything he could to help her. Even intercede on her behalf with the Czar and Czarina. But it was not a difficult task, they also admired and liked her. It was impossible not to admire someone with so vast a talent.

“She has been here for twelve years,” Madame Markova answered his question. “Since she was seven. She is nineteen now, nearly twenty.”

“Perhaps a little holiday will do her good.” He was being very firm about it. He thought it was important for her.

“I agree. The problem is convincing her. I'll talk to her about it when she's a little stronger.”

He came every day after that, and a few days later, Madame Markova broached the subject with her. Danina was startled at first at the invitation from the Imperial family, and pleased, but she had no intention of accepting. “I can't leave you,” she said simply to Madame Markova. She herself was unnerved by her brush with death, and the ballet was home to her. She didn't want to recuperate among strangers, even royal ones. “You won't make me go, will you?” she asked, looking worried.

But as soon as they tried to get her up, she realized the full impact of her illness, as did Madame Markova. She couldn't even sit in a chair without nearly fainting and being held there for her own safety. And she had to be carried to the bathroom.

“You need constant nursing,” the doctor explained to her on one of his visits, “and you will for a while, Danina. It will be a tremendous burden for the people here. They are all really much too busy to help you.” She knew it was the truth, and what a burden she'd been to everyone already, especially Madame Markova. But she still didn't want to leave them. This was her home, and they were her family. She couldn't bear the thought of leaving, and she cried that night when she and Madame Markova talked about it.

“Why can't you go for a little while?” Madame Markova suggested. “Just until you're a bit stronger. It is such a kind invitation, and you really might enjoy it.”

“It frightens me,” she said simply. But the next morning Madame Markova insisted that Danina accept the offer. Aside from thinking it would do Danina good, she was afraid to offend the Czarina by not accepting her generous invitation. It was rare, if not unheard of, to be invited to convalesce at Tsarskoe Selo, and she was very grateful to Dr. Obrajensky for having arranged it. He had proven to be not only kind, but inordinately thoughtful, and genuinely concerned with Danina. And his daily visits had done wonders to cheer her. Spiritually at least, she was nearly herself now. It was her body that was not willing, or able, to bounce back as quickly.

“I think you should go,” Madame Markova said firmly. And then finally, by the end of the week, she and the doctor came to an agreement. Danina must be sent, whether or not she wanted to go. It was for her own good. Without proper nursing, she might never recover completely, and never be able to dance again. And finally, Madame Markova said as much to Danina. “What if your stubbornness costs you the ballet forever?” she said sternly.

“Do you think that might happen?” Danina's eyes were filled with terror.

“It could,” Madame Markova said, looking worried. “You were very, very ill, my dear. You must not tempt fate now by being stubborn or foolish.” They had invited her to stay indefinitely, until she was well and able to return to the ballet again. It was an extraordinary invitation, and even Danina knew it. She was being childish, and didn't want to leave the security of familiar surroundings and the people she knew there.

“What if I go for a few weeks?” It was a small concession on her part, but at least a beginning.

“You will still not be able to dance then. At least go for a month, and we will see how you feel then. If you hate being there, you can always come back and continue convalescing here. But at least go for a month, you can always stay longer if you want to, since they have been kind enough to invite you. And I promise I will come and visit you.”

It was a hard compromise for Danina, but she finally agreed. And the day she was to leave, she cried rivers at the thought of leaving her friends and mentor. “We're not sending you to Siberia,” Madame Markova reminded her gently.