Ghost Light

Ceff’s eyes took in my beat-up jeans, thin tank top, and the bump of gauze at my side.  I’d stripped off my leather jacket, boots, and knives at the bedroom door.  Without a word, Ceff turned and left the room.  I could hear him rummaging in the kitchen and opening and closing cabinets.  He returned a few minutes later with a shot of whiskey.

“Here, drink this,” he said.

I don’t usually drink hard liquor, but I made an exception.  I knocked back the shot glass and set it on the bureau.  The whiskey burned all the way down, but I suddenly wished he’d brought in the entire bottle.  I needed the liquid courage.

“I’m so sorry about Melusine,” I said.

I stared at my gloved hands in my lap, unable to meet Ceff’s eyes.  He froze on his way to perch on the bed beside me.  He changed direction and sat on the floor, resting his head against the wall.  Way to kill the mood, Ivy.

“It was not your fault,” he said.

Dark circles ringed his eyes and I noticed for the first time that Ceff’s normally impeccable clothes were rumpled.  My boyfriend had spent the day mourning the death of his ex-wife.  No matter what he said, I felt guilty.

“I killed her in cold blood,” I said.  “Her death was definitely my fault.”

“She left you no choice,” he said, shaking his head.  “If our roles had been reversed, I would have done the same.”

I thought about that.  If Melusine had been inches away from killing me, Ceff would have fought to protect me.  He wouldn’t have held back.  I nodded, accepting his words for truth.

“So we’re okay?” I asked.

“Yes,” he said.

“Are you…okay?” I asked.

“I will be,” he said.  “The hardest thing to live with is the guilt.  I was angry with Mel for so long, for what she did to our sons.  When I woke up and Jinx told me that Melusine was dead, I was…relieved.  A part of me is happy that she’s dead, and I feel guilty for that.”

Ceff pulled himself up off the floor and rolled onto one knee beside the bed.

“Promise me one thing,” he said.

I swallowed hard.

“Anything,” I said, nodding once.

“Do not ever keep your feelings hidden from me,” he said.  “If you tire of my attentions, send me away.  Do not hold your emotions inside where they can fester.  That is what Melusine did, for hundreds of years.”

Yeah, and we all know how that ended.  Melusine’s jealousy had driven her mad.  She’d manipulated Ceff into executing their oldest son for treason and she murdered their youngest son, throwing the tiny infant into a raging fire.  When she discovered Ceff had a new girlfriend, Melusine had gone off the deep end again.  With the help of my wisp brethren and The Piper, she’d arranged to kidnap and murder over thirty fae children and planned to kill me as well.  And if ridding Ceff of his “half-breed distraction” didn’t work to win him back, she intended to kill him too.

I reached down and clasped his hand in my gloved one.  I may not have a lot of dating experience, make that none, but I did know that I didn’t want to build a relationship on secrets and deceit.  Ceff was asking for honesty, and giving me a way out if the time came that I no longer wanted him.

“I promise,” I said.  I raised an eyebrow and smiled.  “But I don’t plan on getting sick of you any time soon.”

With Ceff being water fae and me being land fae, we barely saw each other.  Ceff had an ocean kingdom to run and I had cases to solve and a proclivity for trouble.  We both had busy lives independent from one another.  The suggestion that I’d become sick of him seemed almost comical.

“Immortality is a long time,” he said.

I nodded.  I knew what I needed to do, what I should have done months ago.  I just hoped that my body could take the strain.

I pulled my hand away from Ceff’s and peeled off the leather glove.  I took a deep breath and lifted my chin to meet his curious gaze.  His eyes were a green so dark they were nearly black and without his glamour the green covered his entire eye, obliterating the human white.  I could lose myself in those eyes.

“No secrets,” I said.

I reached out with my bare hand and brushed my fingers along Ceff’s face to cup his cheek.  He pulled back, wrinkling his brow.

“Are you certain?” he asked.

“Yes,” I said.

Ceff pressed his face into my palm and I gasped.  I saw the execution of his heir, the murder of his infant son, and his torture at the hands of the each uisge.  His pain was palpable, bringing tears to sting my eyes and roll down my cheeks, but the visions lacked the hold they once had on my mind.  I was no stranger to Ceff’s memories; they were the same terrifying visions I’d received from handling Ceff’s bridle.  I had experienced these memories before and lived.

I would survive again.

I rode the visions, each coming faster as my mind recognized the memories and pushed the events away.  But the last two visions were new.  It takes strong emotion to create a vision and these had both been formed in my presence.