Frost

I craned my head around and saw peer-counselor Toby’s dark hair and silver glasses. “Hey, Toby.”

“We miss you,” he said.

“Of course you do.” I smiled. “Can’t say it’s mutual. I’d forgotten how nice it is to have free time.”

He laughed thinly. We both knew I was lying.

I turned back around, bumping my elbow lightly against the pew, reigniting the pain. I rubbed it as I studied the assembly program and tried to decide what to say to Celeste. My eyes caught on a familiar name.

I nudged Celeste and held the program out in front of her. “Did you know Whip’s father and grandfather are speaking? Telling stories about fifty years of blue-red rivalry?”

“Of course,” she said. “I’m having dinner with them.”

She was? “So you’re still hanging out with Whip? I haven’t seen him around the dorm.”

“I wouldn’t bring him there,” she said. She tipped her face toward the chapel’s soaring windows. The light brought out the thin lines on her chapped lips.

“Is everything okay, Celeste?” I asked in a lower voice.

“Yeah, fine.”

“Well, is there some reason you haven’t been using our bathroom?” I felt like I was walking on hummingbird eggshells. “If something’s wrong with the water pressure, or whatever, I can figure it out. I’m good with that stuff.”

A low, rhythmic thumping crept into my ears from behind us.

“No. No reason.”

“I know you’re not using it,” I said. “There must be something wrong. You didn’t burn yourself again, did you?”

She gave an exaggerated sigh. “I’m showering at the gym after physical-therapy sessions. The tub is too slippery with my cast.”

“Really? That’s it?” I said. The thumping had gotten louder. Now I could feel it under my feet.

Celeste turned to face me and smiled. “Somehow you know that little redhead saw me in the locker room, and now you’re trying to find out why I’m all beat-up looking. Right?”

“Well?”

She began to make quick, precise folds in her program, like origami. “I’m fine,” she finally said. “I’m handling it.”

“There’s no reason you should have to handle it on your own,” I said.

“If I needed to talk about something, I would. Okay?” Her program had turned into an origami crane. She balanced it on the back of the pew in front of us. It trembled from the vibrations coming up from the floor.

“It’s weird, Celeste. Being covered in bruises. I don’t want to lie to David if he asks how you’re doing.”

“Don’t tell him anything,” she said. “I mean it.” Her sharp jaw clamped together and appeared even more angular than usual.

The thumping was now thunderous, hundreds of students slamming their feet down in unison. The energy made my face hot. I had to raise my voice.

“I only would because we worry about you. If you’re being hurt in some way . . .”

“Shh! I’m not.” Her eyes bored into mine. “If I tell you, will you shut up about it already? You’re as bad as my smothering brother.”

“Okay,” I said.

Thump, thump, thump, thump.

Celeste stared up at the organ pipes behind the dais. “I’m getting my blood tested to make sure there’s nothing wrong, like some sort of condition that’s making me bruise easily.”

“What do we eat? What do we eat?” The cry came from a group of senior football players at the back of the chapel.

“Condition? Like what?” I said.

“Red meat! Red meat!” the rest of the student body answered, shouting.

She shrugged.

Bruises. Blood test. “Like . . . like leukemia?” I said. My stomach rolled.

“What do we eat? What do we eat?” Louder this time.

“That’s just the worst possibility,” Celeste said. “It’s probably not that.”

“Red meat!! Red meat!!”

Probably? “Celeste, aren’t you worried? Don’t you want to tell David? I’m sure he’d go with you to the doctor.”

“No!” she snapped. “Don’t tell David anything.”

“What do we eat? What do we eat?” Full-throated hollers now.

“But—”

“Don’t tell David anything,” Celeste said, “and I won’t have to tell him about your little pill problem.”

The rows of heads filling the pews swam in and out of focus. A wave of nausea passed through me.

“Red meat!!! Red meat!!!” everyone screamed.

“My pill problem?” Toby’s laughter behind me reminded me he was there. Could he have heard any of this over the commotion in the chapel? I lowered my voice again. “You must be kidding. I don’t have a problem.”

“How do we like it?” the seniors bellowed.

“I could convince David you do,” Celeste said. “You know he’d believe me. I’ve seen what’s in your owl, Leena.”

“RAW!!!!!!”

Chapter 33

DESPITE THE COLD PANIC in my chest and the flashes of heat on my skin, somehow I made it through the assembly. The walk home blurred by as I stared at my feet and told myself that everything was under control, that Celeste wouldn’t tell David. I wasn’t doing anything wrong by having medications, of course, but I didn’t trust that he’d understand my explanation—especially not if he asked where I got them all from.