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I couldn’t believe this man was actually starting a conversation with us. Who did that? Still, it was nice to be described as young. It was happening less often to us both, now that we were in our mid-thirties, although Jack would deny it.

“Pleasure,” Jack answered. “We take a weekend every May to cut loose and enjoy ourselves. We’re planning to see the sights, have plenty of beer, and maybe do a food challenge if we can find one. Our friends, Dave and Andy, arrived yesterday, so they’ll have something lined up for us no doubt. We’ve done something like this every year since leaving the army, and it’s now a bit of an institution.”

“If that turbulence is an indication of the weather in New York, you might not be able to see any sights. I live there, and even in the rain, you’ll love it! My wife, Linda, and I, are just returning from a vacation in England. I’m Bernie.”

“I’m Harry, and that’s Jack. Why are you flying from Manchester?”

“Linda loves researching her family tree, so we decided to visit the places her ancestors lived. It’s taken me to places I never thought I’d visit.”

“Where did you go?”

“A couple of small villages in Yorkshire. Don’t ask me to remember the names of them, but I loved the local pubs.”

“As long as you had a good break,” I replied. “I’d love to have a drive around America, but it’s a case of finding the time to do it. Cruising on route sixty-six, stopping in motels, drinking coffee at a diner, you know, ‘The classic American road trip.’”

“Well, our trip was great, but it’s always nice to get back home,” Bernie said.

I nodded.

Bernie continued to chat enthusiastically about some of the more obscure attractions of New York and Jack took some notes. Over Bernie’s shoulder, I could see America on the flight screen at the front of the cabin. We were less than an hour away.

“This is your Captain speaking. Unfortunately, we have had communication problems with JFK, so we haven’t been able to confirm a landing slot. We will be entering a holding pattern shortly and as soon as we get confirmation, I will advise you on an estimated arrival time.”

“What does he mean communication problems? Don’t they have more than one way of speaking to the airport? We’ve been delayed, but he’s just not telling us. I’m going to speak to that god damn pilot,” Bernie said.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you, Bernie, Air Traffic Control are probably asleep,” Jack shouted along the aisle, as Bernie headed towards the cockpit door.

Figuring this could provide some entertainment, I hopped over Jack into the aisle. He threw his head back and stared at the air conditioning in silence.

As Bernie approached the front of the plane, a male steward stood in his way, “Can I help you, sir?”

“I want to talk to the pilot,” Bernie replied as he tried to edge past.

“You can’t do that, sir.”

The steward put his arm up and calmly blocked Bernie’s access. Bernie wasn’t giving up, he pushed forward, trying to force past the steward’s arm.

“Sir, please go back to your seat.”

The steward was now actively attempting to push Bernie back down the aisle.

I could see this situation escalating, and all of us being arrested at JFK for causing a disturbance.

“Come on. We’ll find out later,” I said, grabbing Bernie by the shoulder and pulling him back.

Bernie turned around, but grumbled as he moved back to his seat about us being treated like cattle.

“Don’t you mean mushrooms?” I said.

“Mushrooms?”

“We’re kept in the dark and fed on shit.”

Bernie burst out laughing and forcefully slapped my back.

“British humour, I love it.”

I returned to my seat and found Jack smiling up at me, “Are we going to spend our time in New York in an airport cell? I bet you managed to annoy at least one person.”

“You’re wrong, actually. I stopped Bernie from getting into trouble. You know how bad behaviour in the sky is viewed nowadays.”

I said the last part with a knowing wink. On our trip last year, Jack had been arrested when we landed in Majorca, for being drunk and taking photographs of random passengers.

“He sounds worse than me, Harry. That’s your good deed for the day then,” Jack laughed.

I sat down and we both looked out of the window. I could now see land in the distance and the flight screen indicated thirty minutes until arrival.

“Ladies and gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. We are still experiencing communication problems with JFK, so we will remain in a holding pattern until contact is re-established.”

The last sentence drew a few nervous laughs. Hopefully, we wouldn’t have long to wait, although it was encouraging that the plane was circling over our destination.

My thoughts drifted to a conversation I had with Andy and Dave the previous day. They had chosen the earlier flight because it was cheaper, and I took great pleasure in teasing them about being thrifty. With the extra hotel cost and expenses, there would be no difference. However, as the delay started to eat into our trip, I imagined the smug grins plastered over their faces at the hotel if they read about our delay.

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