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Dooley seemed even more taken aback.“You wouldn’t go against family!”

“Of course not,” she said sweetly, “since Brutus is my family now.” She stared at the big, black cat adoringly. “He’s got qualities no other cat has.”

“Like what?!” cried Dooley. “The fact that he still got his… nuts? Well, I can fix that. We talked to Odelia and soon it’s gonna be nuts on the nuts!”

“For your information,” said Brutus haughtily, “my… situation is perfectly legal, thank you very much. A policeman’s cat has to set an example, so naturally I’m in compliance with the applicable penal code.”

“Huh?” asked Dooley, not comprehending.

“Brutus is fixed,” huffed Harriet, “and I can’t believe you’d stoop so low.”

We both stared at Brutus.“You’re fixed?” I asked. “But how…”

“Why the surprise, fellas? These days all the cool cats are fixed.” He gestured at us. “And a couple of losers, too, of course, to balance things out.”

“But how can you be so… buff, and still be fixed?” asked Dooley.

“Being a real hombre got nothing to do with what’s going on down there,” said Brutus, taking on the air of a mentor teaching his mentees a few life lessons. “Being a cat’s cat has to do with attitude, and the knowledge that you’re a superior being, not with the size of your… equipment.”

I gave a snort.“You’re definitely not a superior being.”

“Oh, but he most certainly is,” said Harriet, moving over to her new mate and stropping against him seductively. “The stamina this cat got? You wouldn’t believe it!”

“Say it, girl.”

“I am saying it and saying it loud and proud.”

“Now growl it.”

Harriet growled, and Dooley and I threw up in our mouths.

“I’m gonna be sick,” I told Dooley.

“Me, too,” he confessed.

The cooing and lovebirding that followed was enough to make us both gag, and I knew this was going to prove a tougher fight than we’d anticipated. Not only had Brutus invaded our space and seduced our friend, but with Harriet he had gained a powerful ally to convince Odelia to accept him into our home. Odelia loved Dooley and me, but she simply adored Harriet. Everybody did. Because of that snowy white fur people always thought she was the most beautiful creature they’d ever seen, and would stop at nothing to give her what she wanted. If Harriet wanted Brutus introduced into the home, Odelia would do it, against my and Dooley’s protestations.

Unless… I gave Dooley a nudge. “Let’s skedaddle, buddy. We have a human to find and a job to do.”

“But we can’t leave these two here!” he cried. “This is our home!”

“And now it’s mine,” said Brutus with a smirk, and proceeded to stalk over to the couch, hop on, and make himself comfortable in my spot! Then he patted the space beside him. “Hop on, baby cheeks. Let’s have a party.”

Harriet giggled, and without waiting for my approval, hopped onto the couch, stretched out luxuriously, and lovingly gazed into her new mate’s eyes.

“Oh, crap,” I muttered. “I can’t take any more of this.” And I hurried out the pet door, Dooley in my wake. And as we rounded the house and made our way to the street, I said, “We have to do something about this.”

“But what can we do? You heard Harriet. She’ll vouch for him.”

“I’ve got the perfect idea, Dooley,” I assured him. “We’ll simply tell Odelia we know who the killer is, but if she wants us to reveal the identity, first she has to kick that brute out of our house.”

“You mean blackmail?” asked Dooley, eyes widening.

“Let’s just call it a bargaining chip.”

He brightened.“I think it’s a great idea! Do you think she’ll go for it?”

“I’m sure she will. She’s desperate to find that killer, so she’ll give us whatever we want in exchange for the information.”

We hurried along, now on a mission to save our home from this intruder. Harriet was nursing a viper at her bosom, and we needed to shift him.

“I can’t believe Harriet,” Dooley lamented. “Who would have thought she’d betray us like this?”

“That’s kitties for you,” I said. “They see a handsome tom and they forget all about you.”

“I thought she was our friend,” said Dooley dejectedly.

“Well, she’s our friend no more,” I said with determination. “This is war, Dooley, and since she’s colluding with the enemy that makes her our enemy, too.”

“The enemy of our enemy is our enemy, right?”

I thought about this for a moment.“Not exactly.”

Five minutes later, we strolled into the offices of the Gazette, and were surprised to find that Odelia wasn’t there, seated at her desk as usual.

“Where is she?” asked Dooley. Then he gave me a horrified look. “Don’t tell me! She’s probably holed up with Chase Kingsley, making out on his couch, just like Harriet and Brutus!”

“I don’t think so,” I said musingly. “Chase is staying at Uncle Alec’s place, and Odelia making out on her uncle’s couch seems… inappropriate.”

“They might have rented a room! Humans do that kind of stuff!”