“I wonder what that’s all about,” said Dooley with a cavernous yawn.
“Probably something to do with his so-called theory.”
Brutus always has theories, usually pretty far-fetched. We had another murder not so long ago, when a famous eighties pop singer was killed. Brutus thought things through and came up with the theory that the guy had been killed by a conspiracy of boy toys. He probably thought a confederacy of French Bulldogs had killed Shana Kenspeckle and Kane was the ring leader.
“I don’t think we need to worry about Brutus cracking this case,” I said.
I returned my attention to the Kenspeckles, who were concluding their meeting. Shayonne was there, and Shalonda, and of course Shayonne’s husband Dion, and Shana’s husband Damien LeWood. They were discussing things with Alejandro Salanova, the director, and some of the other crew members. I also saw a bodyguard hovering nearby, pressing a finger to his ear from time to time and looking decidedly shifty-eyed. A barber had had fun with his facial hair, which ran in three parallel lines from his lips to his ears, where it morphed into a butter-colored buzzcut, and he was rocking golden hoops. He reminded me of the Genie in Disney’s Aladdin, without the blue body paint. And the grin. This guy had never cracked a smile in his life.
“I think they’re going to start filming again,” said Dooley.
“Well, they have to strike while the iron is hot, I suppose,” I said. Everybody would want to know what happened, and who better to inform them than the Kenspeckles themselves? Regular families would probably mourn in silence. The Kenspeckles filmed another episode of their show.
“It’s that old saying,” said Dooley. “The show must move on.”
“Go on.”
“But I just got here.”
“No, I mean the show.”
“What about it?”
“The show must go on.”
“That’s what I said.”
“No, you said… Forget about it.”
“Forget about the show?”
“It doesn’t matter, Dooley.”
Once again, Brutus came shooting past us, chasing Kane, who was now running for his life. He probably thought Brutus was going to cut him, like Clarice had. Brutus took a breather, glaring up at us.“Do I have to do all the work around here? Why don’t you two lazy bums give me a paw already?”
“You said you wanted to split up, remember? Split up into teams.”
He made a throwaway gesture with his paw.“Gah. Fuggedaboutit.”
We watched him stalk off again, muttering something under his breath. It didn’t sound very friendly. I didn’t care. It was fun to watch Brutus run around like a headless chicken. I’d never seen a cat chase a dog before, and the sight was both disturbing and highly entertaining.
Odelia and Chase came walking into the living room and Odelia gave us a wink. I tried to wink back, but cat’s eyes aren’t made for winking, so it probably came off weird. She got the message, though: we were on the case.
Just then, a person pointing a camera came crashing through the privacy hedge lining the deck and pool area. He looked a little crazed and hyped up.
“Paparazzi alert,” I told Dooley.
“Oh, is that a paparazzi?” he asked, interested.
“Paparazzo. They only call them paparazzi when they travel in packs.”
The moment the photog caught sight of the Kenspeckle sisters, he started clicking his camera, firing off questions like a machine gun toting kook.
“Shayonne! Shayonne! Where were you when your sister was killed?!”
Highly inappropriate, I felt. Genie the Bodyguard felt the same way, for he tried to swat the pap like a bug. The photographer dove under Genie’s massive arm and just kept shooting like the nasty little shutterbug he was.
“Is it true that Shana was sleeping with your husband, Shayonne?!”
The paparazzo narrowly avoided a flying tackle and darted away in the direction of the pool, the bodyguard close on his heel and moving in.
“Is this the end of the Kenspeckles?! The final nail in your coffin?!”
“Wow. That’s just plain mean,” said Dooley.
We watched the bodyguard zoom in on the pap. Amazingly, the scrawny pap kept on firing his camera. Courage under fire. Or the smell of money.
“For a guy built like a freight train that bodyguard sure moves fast,” Dooley said.
“I think he’s going to catch him. I think he’s going to catch him and sit on his head and squash him like a melon.”
But then the reporter lost his footing and splashed headfirst into the pool.
“Aw,” both Dooley and I said. Talk about a downer ending.
I was starting to feel like those two old guys onThe Muppet Show, Statler and Waldorf, keeping up a running commentary. And I was starting to understand the appeal of the Kenspeckles. They sure knew how to put on a good show. You never knew what was going to happen next.
The bodyguard plucked the photog from the pool and dragged him ashore. He looked like a drowned chicken, spluttering and yelling his head off. He was still holding on to his camera, though, and was clicking away.
“You have to hand it to him,” Dooley said. “He’s one dedicated dude.”