Fallout

Mom glanced outside, squinting at the brightness. “That’s very thoughtful of you, sweetheart.” She started toward the refrigerator, then paused to wipe something out of the corner of her eye.

“You okay?” I asked.

“Yes, Scott.” She took out the pitcher of iced tea and put it on the platter, then left the kitchen without another word.

23

After a while, Dad unfolds the card table and invites the others to sit. There are four chairs, and Mr. and Mrs. Shaw and Mr. McGovern sit in three of them. Paula sits on her father’s lap. Dad returns to Mom’s side.

“You sit with them,” Janet says to him. “I’ll stay with Mrs. Porter.”

Dad hesitates, then gets up, letting Janet take his place. At the table, the grown-ups sit silently in the dim light. Sparky picks at the lint on the scratchy army blanket we’re huddled under. Ronnie gnaws at his fingernails.

“You kids want to play a game?” Dad asks.

Paula shakes her head. Ronnie gives me a questioning look. I’m still uncertain about whether to be angry about the fight, and somehow it feels wrong to play games when everything is so serious. But there’s nothing else to do, so I lean toward the shelf to get the checkerboard.

“Hey!” Sparky yelps when I accidentally pull some blanket away from him, leaving parts of his naked body exposed to the cool air and others’ eyes. He yanks the blanket back, and the next thing I know, I’m completely naked.

By the time my eyes go to Paula, she’s looking away, but I have a feeling that’s not where she was looking an instant ago. Ronnie grins his jerky grin, which makes me mad at him all over again. I grab the blanket and manage to cover myself, but Sparky grabs it back, and soon we’re in a tug-of-war.

“Stop it!” Dad orders, getting up. “I’ve got an idea.”

He holds my damp pajamas under the ventilator while Mr. McGovern turns the crank and blows air on them. After a while, Paula’s dad stops to rest, and Mr. Shaw takes over. After two cranks, he’s frowning. You can see that it’s harder than he expected. His eyes go to his wife.

“Do you have to keep doing that?” Mrs. Shaw asks. “It’s cold enough in here.”

Dad backs away from the ventilator and hands the pajamas to me. They’re cold and still damp.

“Sit on them,” Mr. McGovern suggests. “They’ll get warmer.”

I do what he says, and it’s not long before the pajamas stop feeling cold under my butt. While Paula looks away, I pull on the top and then the bottoms. They’re still damp in spots, and when Sparky leans close and sniffs, he wrinkles his nose. But at least now I can get out from under the blanket.

Meanwhile, Ronnie’s looking at the checkerboard. Our eyes meet, but I’m still mad at him for grinning when Sparky pulled the blanket off me. If our parents weren’t here, I’d tell him he’d have to apologize before I’d play with him. Only knowing Ronnie, he never would.

Sparky and I thumb wrestle. To keep it interesting, I let him win a couple of times, but it gets boring just the same. He’s still wrapped in the blanket. I doubt he’d wear his pajamas even if Dad dried them. He’s much pickier about things like that than I am. After a while, he says, “Dad, I’m hungry.”

“We’re all hungry, Edward.”

“But, Dad… ” he whines.

“Let him have something,” Mrs. Shaw says.

“There won’t be enough food to —” Dad begins, but Mrs. Shaw cuts him short.

“He’s a child and he’s scared. Food comforts them. We’ll worry about running out later.”

Dad sighs as if he disagrees but has decided not to argue. It feels strange to hear Mrs. Shaw talk about comfort food, since whenever I ate at their house, she made TV dinners.

While Dad starts to open another can of Spam, Ronnie and Paula share a look. They’re also hungry. But I know that they won’t say anything because it’s our bomb shelter and our food. So it’s up to me: “Us, too, Dad.”

Ronnie gives me a nod as if he appreciates it, but I look away.

“How long before we’ve eaten everything?” Mr. McGovern asks.

Dad gestures to the shelf. “That’s all we’ve got.”

On the shelf are about two dozen cans of Spam, tuna fish, sardines, some small jars of peanut butter and jelly, bread, and crackers. Even I can see that if we only have one more meal today, and only two small meals for every day to come, it won’t last long.

We devour the extra Spam and Tang that Dad gives us. Sparky yawns. “What time is it?”

We don’t know. No one was wearing a watch when we were awakened in the middle of the night by the sirens.

“I wonder if it’s even noon,” says Mr. McGovern.

Everyone is quiet. Are they thinking what I’m thinking? That it feels hopeless? Not even a day has passed, and I’m already bored, dirty, hungry, and smelly in my pee-stinky pajamas. How are we ever going to stay down here for two weeks?

24

One Saturday just before lunchtime, Sparky came in and asked why the Shaws were in our backyard.