Do Unto Others

Junebug said. Bid sucked down boiling-hot coffee as if it was ice water. Those cigarillos must build up the scar tissue fast. “Well, then, if you two have concluded your business, I’d like to speak privately with my nephew.” Junebug arched an eyebrow, but didn’t argue. “Yes, we are finished, I believe. Jordy, I’ll let you know when you can reopen.” I nodded mutely and escorted Junebug to the door. He paused on the porch as he adjusted his hat and blinked into the morning sunshine. “It’s a nice day. Why don’t you spend it with your mother? Take her out to the park or out to lunch?” “I have other plans, Junebug.” “Remember, Jordy, I’m the law. I’ll handle the investigating around here. And one thing I might have to investigate is how you knew about that money in Beta Harcher’s account.” I didn’t want to get Candace in trouble for sneaking around bank-record confidentiality. But I didn’t want to lie to a police officer either.

Best to take the blunderbuss approach. “Have you found where all that money came from?” “No, we haven’t,” he confessed. “You know anything about it?” “No,” I admitted. “Will wonders never cease? I’ll see you later, Jordy.” Junebug smiled at me, set his hat to his liking, and headed for his cruiser. I went back into the kitchen. Uncle Bid leaned against the open refrigerator, his bald head surveying the shelves up close. “Breakfast service is closed,” I quipped. “If you want the special thrill of having a relative cook for you, wait till Sister wakes up. I’m sure she’ll whip up your favorite. And get that smelly cigar out of the fridge. And out of the house. But there’s no need to spit it out. Just let your lips follow.” He slammed the door shut and rubbed an apple on his lapel. “You’d shame my brother, talking to me that way.” He could invoke a father’s ghost faster than Hamlet. “No, he’d be ashamed of how you’ve ignored Mama. You never call. You never come by unless it’s to offer less-than-constructive criticism. Your absence is a blessing to me, though, so I guess I shouldn’t complain.”

“I’m concerned about you, Jordy, and I’m here to help. You need my representation. I’ve just had me a fascinating conversation with Billy Ray Bummel.” He bit into the apple and chomped noisily. That didn’t keep him from talking. “Let’s look at the facts, boy. Beta Harcher popped you one and threatened you in front of a library full of witnesses. You were in the library, by y’own admission, in the range of time the murder took place. If she was going to burn down the library, that was an immediate threat not only to you but to the only employment that you are remotely suited for in this town-aside from village idiot. And only your prints are on the murder weapon. Now do you still think you don’t need my help?” “I’ll get my own legal representation, thank you.” The phone rang. I scooped it up, willing to chitchat with an obscene caller rather than Bid. It was Candace.

“Glad to see you’re home. I waited last night for your call.” Oops.

I’d been so wrapped up in pulling my thoughts together and writing out my notes I’d forgotten my promise to phone Candace. “Sorry,” I said.

“Look, this isn’t a good time. Can I call you back?” “As long as you’re not fixing breakfast for Ruth Wills.” It might’ve sounded mean if she hadn’t laughed. “I’m not. Talk to you in a minute.” I hung up and turned back to Bid. He munched the apple down to the core. I kept hoping there was a seed or two he might choke on. “I’m offering you free legal representation, just as soon as you’re arrested,” he said, wiping his mouth with a dainty, monogrammed handkerchief. “I’m not going to be arrested. If they had anything on me, they’d have arrested me by now.” I said it with more conviction than I felt. “And even if they do, I’ll get me a good attorney, someone over in Bavary who actually hasn’t been investigated by the state bar.” Bid shrugged away the history of his luminous career. “And how will you afford it, Jordy? With your stellar librarian’s salary?” He got up and thumbed his cigarillo stub into the trash. “You don’t have the money to spend on legal defense. And trust me, you don’t want a public defender.

Bonaparte County’s recruiting from the very dregs of the dreggiest of law schools.” “I’ll take my chances, thank you. I’m sure any public defender would do a more conscientious job for me than you would.