Diva Runs Out Of Thyme

“Let’s go.” I said to Nina and Humphrey, as I picked up my coat and put it on.

Humphrey jumped to his feet. “Did he work you over? Are you all right? I should have come with you.”

I didn’t have the patience to deal with him. My temper flared, partly out of disappointment over Wolf and partly because I’d hoped the tapes would vindicate me. I ignored Humphrey and charged through the crowded pub.

Standing by the doorway, Wolf watched me, but I didn’t care. I shoved by him and burst out the door. Outside, I gulped cold air and waited for Nina and Humphrey. It didn’t take them long.

“We stopped to tell Bernie we were leaving,” said Nina.

I calmed down while we walked home. As we approached my house, I realized I should have asked Humphrey where he parked so we could have walked him to his car and I wouldn’t have to pretend to be polite and invite him in. Maybe it wasn’t too late to try. I stopped on the sidewalk in front of my house and was about to address Humphrey when Nina hissed, “Stalker. In the bushes in front of your house.”

TWENTY-FIVE

From Live with Natasha :

In the summer, I love to harvest fresh raspberries and other fruits, like peaches and black currants, from my garden to make liquors. It’s surprisingly easy to do using fruit, sugar, and vodka. The liquor needs to sit for a few months so the flavor can develop, which means it’s ready just in time for those blustery winter nights. Delicious over homemade ice cream or straight in a cordial glass. Add a festive bow to the bottle and it makes a very thoughtful one-of-a-kind gift.

I was in no mood to deal with any more of this nonsense. But at that moment the last thing I wanted was to call the police and face Wolf again. The lantern by my front door lit enough of the bushes to reveal movement in the branches. If I yelled, the lurker would probably take off running.

“What do we do?” I whispered to Humphrey and Nina.

Nina whipped out her cell phone.

I reached for it and snapped it shut. “We have to find out who it is. Nina, you block him on the right, Humphrey . . .” I doubted Humphrey could stop a flea but he was all I had. “You take the left. I’ll act like I’m saying good night to you and walk straight to the door.”

“Are you insane?” Humphrey whispered in a higher pitch than I’d have thought possible.

I didn’t give him a chance to argue. Projecting my voice, I called out “Good night! See you tomorrow,” and headed for my front door. Keeping my eyes on the bushes, I tried to hold my head straight so the man in hiding wouldn’t know we were on to him. When I was almost at the stoop, Mars stepped out of the shadows.

“Are you trying to scare us to death?” My heart raced. “Why are you lurking outside the house?”

“I wasn’t sure who was with you or who might be home. Hi, Nina. We need to talk, Soph—”

Humphrey charged from the left, a pale blur that intersected Mars at his knees.

Mars crumpled to the ground.

“Stop, Humphrey! It’s Mars. It’s okay,” I shouted.

I couldn’t tell which one moaned louder. Nina and I helped them stand. Humphrey rubbed his shoulder but forced a smile. “I always wanted to be a football hero.”

Mars grumbled, “I need a drink.”

“I should go.” Humphrey dusted himself off. “It’s been a most adventurous evening.” He leaned in for a kiss.

I evaded him by pulling away. I jammed the key into the lock and turned it. “Thanks for going with us, Humphrey.”

Mars staggered into the house. This was the third time he’d been by today. Did he really need to talk or was he making up excuses to come over and see me?

“I think everyone’s still out.” I motioned feverishly for Nina to come in. She hurried in after Mars, and I could tell she was pleased to be included. When I closed the door, Humphrey was limping toward the street.

Mars waited for Nina and me in the kitchen. “Sit.”

We draped our coats over a chair before taking seats at the kitchen table. Mars unzipped his new leather jacket, placed a package wrapped in plain brown paper on the table, then slammed down a photograph. The glossy enlargement showed Clyde, Simon’s driver and bodyguard. He stood casually, with one hand on his hip, and wore an embarrassed smile like he found it silly to pose for a photo.

“Too bad he’s so obnoxious; he’s not bad-looking,” said Nina.

Mars glared at her. “I found it in Natasha’s briefcase.”

“You were snooping?” said Nina.