Diva Runs Out Of Thyme

Simon winked at me and strode away to welcome Wendy.

She drifted over to me when he moved on. “I can’t believe that just happened. I couldn’t be more excited if he’d asked me for a date. It’s . . . it’s like going out with a movie star, only better.”

“Better?”

“Are you kidding? Do you know what he’s worth? I’d dump my sweet, fat old Marvin any day for Simon.” She paused, waved, and called out, “Hi, honey!”

A portly guy sitting in the front row of spectator chairs waved back.

Maybe she had a point, but the whole thing left a sour taste in my mouth. It wasn’t an invitation, it was . . . a command. As though he assumed I’d love to go with him. Was he so used to women agreeing that he didn’t bother asking?

Wendy watched me with a dreamy expression. “What I wouldn’t give to have Simon Greer interested in me.”

Stupid Simon. He was a judge. What had he done? Didn’t he realize the position he put me in by asking me out? He couldn’t wait a few hours until after they announced the winner?

Natasha rushed over, the color drained from her face. “Did I hear that right?” She reprimanded me like an angry schoolteacher. “I never expected this from you. Sleeping with a judge to win? It can’t be easy for you to continually be an also-ran, but, Sophie, this is practically prostitution. What will your new boyfriend think?” She emitted a small gasping sound like something terrible had occurred to her. “Simon’s your new beau. You’ve rigged the contest!”

FIVE

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Like winning a stuffing contest was so important that I’d sleep with a judge. The winner would get a one-hour television special on one of Simon’s networks, as well as the cover of one of his trendy magazines. That prize could propel the winner to diva stardom, or at least put her on the right road. But I’d never been the type to sleep my way to success.

For one brief moment I considered bowing out, but I didn’t want to give Natasha the satisfaction. I’d have to find Simon and set him straight. Holding my chin high to show I had nothing to be ashamed of, I faced Natasha. “If you’re so sure you’re going to win, then why are you concerned about Simon and me?”

Her lower lip pulled into a bitter line. “It’s not fair to the other contestants.”

She was right about that. It wouldn’t be fair to anyone. But I’d set things right before the competition started.

“Sophie! Sophie!” Hannah rushed at us, wearing an uncharacteristically subdued baby-blue turtleneck. Mom and Craig followed close behind and Dad stood back to snap pictures on his fancy digital camera.

“Is it true?” Hannah said. “Simon asked you out?”

News traveled fast in the ballroom. “Where did you hear that?”

“Everyone’s buzzing about it. I can’t believe it. My sister’s going to be rich. Filthy rich!”

Great. The first date I’d had since my divorce could have been with a rich and charming guy and I was going to ruin it all by telling him I couldn’t go.

Mom beamed. “I knew you wouldn’t be wearing flannel pajamas for long. That cute cop from yesterday is here, too. I believe he’s sweet on you.”

Wolf? Here? I’d zeroed in on him because he looked like the kind of guy who liked food, but I didn’t imagine he’d be interested in the stuffing contest.

Mars’s sister-in-law, Vicki, joined us and I could hear her husband, Andrew, talking too loudly nearby. Although Andrew looked a good deal like Mars, he’d never found contentment in any of his business undertakings. He drifted from idea to job to disaster on a regular basis. Thankfully, the svelte, very together Vicki sustained them by being one of Washington’s most-sought-after marriage counselors. She exuded self-confidence in a way I never could.

Vicki gave me a big hug. “What’s this I hear? A new man in your life?”

Hannah practically swooned. “Simon Greer asked her out. Can you believe it?”

“Simon! Aren’t you the lucky one.”

I excused myself to look for the rascal but could hear my mother asking Vicki, “Exactly how much is this Simon worth?”