Death of a Unicorn

It was Krug, and somehow he had managed to keep it cold on the journey. I was absurdly moved that he should have understood that it would have such meaning for me.

‘Sealed in blood,’ I said as I lowered my glass.

‘You will have to explain.’

‘I nearly put you off at least three times. I’m not sure what it’s going to do to me, bringing up those old days. But I couldn’t. So much of me was longing to see you.’

‘My dear Mabs . . .’

‘I’m a bit hysterical this morning. I got a letter from my husband saying he wanted a divorce.’

‘Did you now?’

He managed to make his voice condole, but the near-blind eyes were still able to gleam.

‘No nice scandal, I’m afraid,’ I said. ‘He’s just found a pleasanter woman to live with. I’ve known it was coming for ages. But that’s not all, Ronnie. I’ve had a piece of terrific financial news.’

‘Enough to cure heartache, by the sound of it.’

‘Almost. You won’t have read a book of mine called The Gamekeeper’s Daughter.’

‘I don’t think so. But I assure you I have read some of the others. You must give a lot of people pleasure, Mabs.’

‘A tactful way to put it.’

‘Not intended as such. I count myself among them. But that one, I take it, came just after the Chatterley trial.’

‘Palest of pale blue by today’s standards. It’s being made into a film.’

‘Congratulations. But I was under the impression you’d had several.’

‘Five. This one is going to be a big one. Top stars and so on. But that isn’t the point. I’ve been fighting for years to get some of the running expenses of Cheadle allowed against my income from writing for tax purposes. The tax people have always said they were two separate businesses, but I maintain that they aren’t. They depend on each other. I integrate them as much as possible. I keep Cheadle exactly in the period I write about. Visitors who come to see it see a great Edwardian house being got ready for a big house party, and so on, but the tax people have always said I can only claim the proportion I actually use for writing, which is a couple of rooms. They think they’re being generous allowing me two per cent. My own accountants have been perfectly infuriating too. They keep saying I’ll never get away with it.’

‘I can imagine. Where does the film come in?’

‘I put a clause in the contract that it had to be shot here. I did it for the publicity, mainly, but just on the off chance I forced my accountants to argue with the tax people that it showed the two businesses weren’t separate, and believe it or not they’ve given in at last. Just like men. It wasn’t a real argument, but they’d got tired of fighting me and they only wanted an excuse for saying yes without losing face.’

‘Well done. A lesson to us all.’

‘But that’s not the best of it. I’m going to be able to claim back tax for years and years. I’ve got a huge bonanza coming. When I took over here, you see, it was absolute touch and go. If it hadn’t been for my turning out best sellers Cheadle would have gone bankrupt. I made a lot of money those days, even after tax, and the house hadn’t really begun to bring the visitors in. It still runs at a loss, of course, and these have been bad times for writers . . .’

‘Don’t I know it! I hadn’t thought of you, Mabs, as the Walter Scott of our era.’

‘Oh, but I am. “This good right hand shall do it.” And all before breakfast, too, like him. Do you know, Ronnie, it looks as though I shall be able to take a whole year off and not turn out a single word!’

‘Dangerous.’

‘But exciting. Let’s eat. I’ve got somebody coming at 2.15 but I propose to keep him hanging around for a bit.’