Daddy

“Isn't Sandra going with her?”

“They don't get along. And she hates her dad. She won't go to Philadelphia to live with him either.”

“So what's she going to do?”

“Drop out of school and get a job and stay here, but I don't want to leave her alone.”

“That's noble of you. But she sounds very independent.”

“She isn't. She needs me.” It was the first time he had opened up and talked about her, and Oliver was touched, but also frightened by what he was hearing. She didn't sound like the kind of girl anyone should be involved with. She sounded like trouble. “I can't leave her, Dad.”

“You're going to have to leave her in the fall when you go to college anyway. You might as well deal with it now, before it becomes an even bigger problem.” But Benjamin only smiled at the irony of his words.

“I can't go.” He was adamant and Oliver was suddenly confused.

“To college or New York?” This really was a new one.

“Either one.” Benjamin looked stubborn and almost desperate.

“But why?” There was another long silence, and finally Benjamin looked up at him, and decided to tell him all of it. He had carried it alone for long enough, and if his father wanted to know so badly, then he would tell him.

“Because she's pregnant.”

“Oh my God … oh my God … why the hell didn't you tell me?”

“I don't know … I didn't think you'd want to know … and anyway, it's my problem.” He hung his head, feeling the full burden of it, as he had for months.

“Is that why her mother is leaving her and going to California?”

“In part. But they also don't get along, and her mother has a new boyfriend.”

“And what does she think about her daughter being pregnant?”

“She figures it's Sandra's problem, not hers. She told her to get an abortion.”

“And? … will she?”

Benjamin shook his head, and looked at his father with everything he believed in, in his eyes, his heart on his sleeve, and the values of his father. “I wouldn't let her.”

“For God's sake, Benjamin …” Oliver got up and began to pace the kitchen. “You wouldn't let her? Why not? What on earth is a seventeen-year-old girl going to do with a baby? Or is she willing to give it up for adoption?”

Benjamin shook his head again. “She says she wants to keep it.”

“Benjamn please make sense. You're ruining three lives, not just one. Get the girl to have an abortion.”

“She can't.”

“Why not?”

“She's four months pregnant.”

He sat down again with a thud. “What a mess you've gotten yourself into, no wonder you're cutting classes and flunking out, but I've got news for you, we'll wade through this mess together, but you're moving to New York with me next week, come hell or high water.”

“Dad, I already told you.” Benjamin stood up, looking impatient. “I'm not going to leave her. She's alone and pregnant, and that's my kid she's carrying around.

I care about her, and the baby.” And then suddenly, his eyes filled with tears, he was tired, and drained, and he didn't want to argue anymore, things were tough enough for him without taking on his father too. “Daddy, I love her … please don't interfere in this.” Benjamin didn't tell him he'd offered to marry the girl, but Sandra thought marriage was dumb. She didn't want to end up divorced like her parents.

Oliver went to him and put an arm around him. “You have to be sensible … you have to do the right things … for both of you. And throwing your life away isn't going to help anybody. Where is she living now?” A thousand possibilities were running through Ollie's mind as they spoke, and one of them was paying for her upkeep in a home for unwed mothers.

“At home, but she's moving into an apartment in Port Chester. I've been helping her pay the rent.”

“That's noble of you, but she's going to need a lot more than that very shortly. Do you have any idea how expensive babies are? How much it costs to have one?”

“What do you suggest, Dad?” He sounded suddenly bitter again, “that we get an abortion because it's cheaper? That's my baby inside her. I love it and I love her, and I'm not giving either of them up, do you understand that? And I'm not moving to New York. I'll get my grades up here, without going anywhere. I can always stay with her if I have to.”

“I don't know what to say to you anymore. Are you sure she's four months pregnant?” Benjamin nodded and it depressed Oliver to realize that their little “accident” had coincided with Sarah's departure. They had all gone nuts for a while, but Benjamin's craziness would last a lifetime. “Will she give it up?”

Benjamin shook his head again. “No, we won't, Dad. It's funny, I always thought you were against abortion.” The blow hit hard. He was the man who had fought Sarah each time to save his three children, and yet now he wanted Benjamin's baby to be aborted. But this was so different.

“In most circumstances, I am. But what you're doing is going to destroy your life, and I care more about you than that baby.”

“That baby is a part of me, and a part of you, and Mom … and Sandra … and I'm not going to let anyone kill it.”

“How are you going to support it?”