Daddy

“So did I. But I think it's harder for them.”

Sam nodded, as though he understood, too, but in truth, he really didn't. And then he asked his sister what he didn't dare to ask either of his parents. “Mel … do you think she'll come back? … I mean, like before … here, to Dad, and everything. …”

His sister hesitated for a long time before answering him, searching her own heart and mind, but like her father, she already knew the answer. “I don't know … but I don't think so.”

Sam nodded again, better able to cope with it now, now that he had been to visit her, and she had promised he could come back in a few weeks. She hadn't said anything about coming back to see them in Purchase. “Do you think Dad's mad at her?”

Mel shook her head. “No. I think he's just sad. That's why he weirded out tonight.”

Sam nodded and lay back on his pillow. “G'night, Mel … I love you.” She bent to kiss him and gently stroked his hair, just as Sarah had in Boston.

“I love you, too, even though you're a brat some- times.” They both laughed and she turned off the light and closed the door, and when she went back to her room, she saw Benjamin climbing out the window, and dropping swiftly to the ground. She watched him, but she made no sound or sign. She just pulled down her shade, and went to lie on her own bed. She had a lot to think about. That night, they all did. They all lay awake for a long time that night, thinking about Sarah. And wherever Benjamin had gone, Mel figured it was his own business. But it was also easy to guess his whereabouts. Despite the restriction still in force, he had gone to Sandra's.

Chapter 10

Daphne walked into Oliver's office the next morning, shortly after ten o'clock, and at first she thought he looked all right. She knew he had taken the children to Boston to see Sarah for the weekend.

“How was it?” But as soon as the words were out of her mouth, she could see the answer in his eyes. He looked as though he'd been hit by lightning.

“Don't ask.”

“I'm sorry.” And she was, for him and the children.

“So am I. Do you have the slides put together yet?” She nodded, and they avoided any further mention of the subject. They worked straight through until four o'clock, and for once he found relief in his work. It was wonderful not to be thinking of Sarah, or even the children.

He got home at nine o'clock that night, and later every night after that. They had a rush presentation to put out for a major client. But for once, the children seemed all right. And three weeks after the first visit, Sarah invited the children back to Boston again, but this time Oliver didn't go with them. Mel went with Sam instead. Benjamin had already made plans to go skiing with friends, and didn't want to change that.

On Friday night when Ollie got home late, the house was quiet and dark, even Aggie had taken a few days off, and had gone to stay with her sister in New Jersey. It was odd being alone without all of them, but in some ways it was a relief too. It had been three months since Sarah left, three months of caring and crying and worrying about them, of being responsible every hour of the day and rushing back and forth between Purchase and his office. Sometimes he had to admit that Daphne was right. It would have been easier to move to New York, but he didn't think any of them were ready for that. Maybe in a year or two … it was odd thinking that far ahead now, without her. His life looked like an empty wasteland.

He had dinner with his father on Saturday night, and on Sunday afternoon, he went to visit his mother. She was a depressing sight, and all she talked about was wanting to go home, to work in her garden. She wasn't fully aware of where she was, but there were moments when she seemed more lucid than others.

“You doing all right, Dad?” he asked him the night they went out.

“More or less.” The older man smiled. “It gets awfully lonely without her.”

Ollie sighed and smiled ruefully at him. “I know what you mean, Dad.” It still seemed ironic that they were both losing their wives at the same time. Ironic and tragic and endlessly painful.

“At least you have the children to keep you company.”

“You should come down and see them more. Sam is dying to see you.”

“Maybe tomorrow afternoon.” But Ollie had explained that they were in Boston with their mother.

They returned in good spirits again this time, but Mel had warned Sam not to talk about it too much with Daddy. And she had particularly told him not to mention Jean-Pierre. He was a friend of their mom's, who had dropped by to meet them on Saturday night, and Mel secretly thought he had a crush on their mother. He was twenty-five years old, and a graduate student from France, and he had made everyone laugh, and told lots of jokes, and made pizza from scratch. Sam thought he was a great guy, but Mel assured him that Daddy wouldn't want to hear it.

“Do you think he's going out with Mom?” Sam was always curious, and he thought he'd seen them kissing once in the kitchen when he went in for a Coke.