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“That’s what I keep asking myself, but here I am.” Marlene, a handsome woman, slim and exceedingly tan with plenty of makeup and short blond hair, narrowed her eyes at her former husband. “You lost weight, Jer.”

“Prison life doesn’t become me,” he said ruefully.

“Is it true you spent a couple of weeks in Mexico before they shipped your ass back to the States?”

“We were in Tulum, Marlene,” said Johnny, smiling his goofy smile.

“Hi, Johnny. Livingla vida loca, huh?”

“I don’t know about lavi loco but we spent a lot of time on the beach, sipping cocktails and looking at the ladies. Pretty ladies they got down there, isn’t that right, Jer?”

“Shut up, Johnny.”

“Pretty ladies, huh? So all that talk about missing me and wanting to get back together was just talk, is that it?”

“No, it wasn’t,” said Jerry. He directed a pleading look at his ex-wife. “I miss you, sweetie. When are you going to forgive me?”

“How about never?” she suggested tartly.

“There was one Mexican lady who kept pouring us tequila, isn’t that right, Jer? I think she took a shine to you.”

“Shut. Up,” said Jerry through gritted teeth.

“Look, I didn’t come here to listen to your travel itinerary,” said Marlene. “I heard that you stole a Picasso and a ton of gold. Is that true?”

“No, it’s not,” said Jerry. “We’re innocent, Marlene—you gotta believe me.”

She frowned.“No gold?”

“No gold.”

She chewed on that for a moment.“Jewelry?” she suggested.

“No jewelry.”

“Diamonds? Necklaces? Furs? Anything?”

“Look, this time we’re actually innocent,” said Jerry. “Isn’t that right, Johnny?”

“Yeah, we found religion,” said Johnny, folding his hands like the elders at Kingdom Hall had taught him. “We’re reformed now, Marlene. The life of crime is behind us.”

“Too bad,” said Marlene. “When I read about that gold, I figured…” She made an airy gesture. “Eh, it doesn’t matter. It was nice to see you again, Jer. Take care of yourself.”

“You’re not going already, are you?” asked Jerry, much perturbed. “You just got here!”

“And now I’m going. See you, Johnny. Bye bye, Jer.”

And with these words, she effectively stalked off, her high heels tapping on the polished concrete floor, the sound growing fainter as she went.

Jerry yelled after her,“So when are we getting back together?”

“Never!” her voice echoed. Then a door slammed and she was gone.

Jerry sank down onto his bunk again, more distraught than ever.

“I think she was disappointed we didn’t steal no gold, Jer,” said Johnny.

“You know, Johnny? I’m starting to wish that we had stolen that gold.”

“But we can’t, Jer. We’re on the straight and narrow now. We’re reformed.”

“I gotta accept that my marriage is over,” said Jerry sadly.

“I thought it was over last year?”

“Oh, shut up, will you? I need to think.”

And soon he was deep in thought again. It stood to reason that the only way to convince Marlene to give their marriage another shot was to wear her down. Talk to her like he’d never talked before. But how could he do that when he was locked up?

So he had to get out and he had to get out pronto.

And this time he was going to come up with a plan that was foolproof.

Chapter 36

“We have to convince her, Dooley,” I said.

“I know,” he said.

“This is now a matter of life and death.”

“I know!”

We’d arrived at Odelia’s office and both took a deep breath. We were entering the kind of negotiation that was going to determine our future, and we needed to strike the right note from the start, just like a hostage negotiator would. For that was what we were: hostages of the crazy wiles of those cat-hating sisters Blanche and Bella Trainor.

So we set paw inside the Gazette building and made a beeline for Odelia’s office.

She looked up when we entered.“Did you know that an insurance agency by the name of Johnson and Johnson has been named in one of the biggest fraud cases this town has ever seen?” she asked.

“No, I didn’t know that,” I said.

“Tell her, Max,” Dooley whispered behind me, giving me a poke in the rear.

“Chase is looking into the case,” she said. “And he’s made me promise not to write a word about it until he’s ready to haul the principals into the station for questioning.” She shook her head. “It’s tough to have to sit on a story that big, not being able to write it.”

“Tell her, Max!” Dooley urged again, and pushed me further in the direction of Odelia’s desk.

“Will you stop pushing?” I hissed.

“Tell me what?” asked Odelia, only now becoming aware that the two cats who had graced her with their presence were anxious to have speech with her.

“Well, the thing is…” I began, then stopped and started again. “You see, we’re in some sort of…”

Dooley, tired of my prevarications, emerged from behind my broad back and blurted out,“Blanche and Bella have locked us out of the house. They hate cats and they’re going to try to convince you that all cats are evil and make you get rid of us and we’ll have to spend the rest of our lives on the street, eating from dumpsters just like Clarice does, and live off scraps of food and mice and rats and other horrible vermin.”