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“See?” said Brutus. “This is perfectly safe. Even if this cat killer were still stalking us, which I think is unlikely, he would never abduct us in broad daylight, in front of all these people. There’s safety in numbers, fellas, and so we’ve got nothing to worry about!”

I still wasn’t exactly at ease, in spite of those numbers Brutus found so safe. It only took one maniac to snatch us from the street and deposit us in the back of his van and that would be it. Game over for us!

So when finally we reached the back alley that Clarice considers her own private property, I breathed a sigh of intense relief.

“Clarice?” I called out when we entered the alley. “Are you there?”

The dumpsters were full to the bursting point, as the town’s sanitation services had yet to pick them up, so there was every chance Clarice was around.

“Clarice!” Brutus called out. “We need to talk to you!”

“I don’t think she’s here,” said Dooley as we reached the end of the alley and still there was no sign of our feral friend.

“She could be out by the strip mall,” Brutus said. In lieu of an actual mall we have a modest strip of shops with a parking lot attached to it located on the road that leads into Hampton Cove. Shops that will probably all disappear when the big mall opens its doors.

“What are you yelling about?” suddenly a cranky voice sounded from underneath the dumpster closest to me.

“Clarice!” I said. “Am I glad to see you!”

“I’d love to say the same thing, but I’m not happy to see you,” she said, and yawned. “I was just having a nice nap, until you came along, with all your screaming and shouting. What do you want?”

“We have a proposition for you, Clarice,” said Brutus, plastering a wide smile onto his face.

“If you’re asking me to marry you, you can forget about it. I’m not the marrying type.”

“No, I don’t want to marry you!” said Brutus quickly.

She cocked her head and gave him a sly look.“Why? I’m not good enough for you? Is that it?”

“No, of course not!”

“Then what’s the problem? I’m too outspoken? Too loud? Too fond of my freedom?”

Brutus gave me a helpless look, and so I took over from him.

“We’ve been attacked,” I announced. “A madman shoved us into a sort of trunk or chest and set fire to us. It was only through sheer luck that we escaped with our lives.”

“That doesn’t sound good,” said Clarice, and casually licked a very sharp-looking claw. “But at the risk of sounding callous, what does that have to do with me?”

“Well, since the incident Odelia has tasked her boyfriend with our protection, and she’s also hired a retired police dog. Neither solution really sits well with us. Chase because he obviously hates the job of babysitting a brace of cats, and because he has his day job to think about, and the dog because, well, he doesn’t really seem to care.”

“So we thought of you, Clarice,” said Brutus fervently.

“That’s very nice of you, Brutus,” she said sweetly. “I always like it when cats think of me. Now just spit it out already, Max. What do you want?”

“We want you to watch over us. To be our bodyguard. To make sure this cat killer doesn’t come near us again.”

For a moment, Clarice simply stared at me, then she burst into a loud side-splitting laugh.“Me!” she cried. “Guard you lot!”

“Yes, that’s the general idea,” I said.

“She’s not going to do it,” said Dooley, shaking his head. “She thinks the idea is stupid.”

“Well, it is a stupid idea, Dooley,” said Clarice, wiping the tears from her eyes. “I’m not a guard cat—I can look after myself, sure. But to look after a couple of jelly-belly lily-livered pampered house cats like you guys? I’d have to be crazy to take the job!”

“For your information we’re not entirely pampered,” I said stiffly. “In fact I’d say we can take pretty good care of ourselves most of the time. But this cat killer—he just came out of nowhere. Took us by surprise.”

“And it wasn’t a nice surprise,” Dooley pointed out.

“And so another pair of eyes wouldn’t be a luxury.”

“Clarice, please help us,” said Dooley. “You’re the only one we can trust. And the only cat who’s so… so… so tough!”

Her smirk died away as she regarded Dooley.“Oh, Dooley, Dooley,” she said. “That’s very nice of you to say, honey, but I’m just not cut out for this kind of job. I’ve only ever had to take care of myself—and if I take on the responsibility of you guys and something happens to you, I’d never forgive myself.”

“I’m sure nothing is going to happen,” I said. “This cat killer—we haven’t seen a sign of him since it happened. But just to be on the safe side…”

“Yeah, just as a precaution, see,” said Brutus.

“I don’t want to die, Clarice,” said Dooley, directing a pleading look at the tough street cat. “I’m too young to die, and so are my friends. Won’t you please help us—please?”

She gave him a little smile, then finally screwed up her face.“Aah! I’m so going to regret this! Okay—fine! I’ll take the job! But if you go and die on me, I swear I’ll kill you!”

Chapter 32