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“I think it’s great,” said Brutus. “And in fact I think this guard duty should probably be expanded. No man can guard us twenty-four-seven hours all by his lonesome. It takes at least two guards to do the job the way it’s supposed to be done. Or maybe even four, as no guard worth his or her salt likes to do this alone. Two teams of two guards is what this job requires, and so I’m going to tell Odelia she should recruit three more cops.”

“I doubt whether Uncle Alec will agree,” I said. “His cops probably have more important things to do than to guard Odelia’s cats all the time.”

“What could be more important than making sure that we’re safe?” asked Harriet, and I had the impression the question was a rhetorical one, so I didn’t answer.

Kingman, who’s one of our best friends and also our local cat population’s unofficial mayor, came waddling over. He’s a very large cat, and contrary to myself doesn’t have his big bones to blame for his sizable form.

“What’s your human doing here?” he asked, casting curious glances at Chase, who’d taken a seat on his bench again, but was eyeing the shoe thrower with a kindling eye.

“We were in the attic this morning and then we were locked up inside a box and then the box was set on fire with us still in it, and even though we did a lot of spitting and licking that didn’t help,” said Dooley, causing Kingman to frown and turn to me.

“What is he talking about?”

“A cat killer attacked us this morning,” I said. “He tried to set us on fire.”

“Oh, my God. And how did you survive?”

I told him the whole story, and Kingman was properly impressed.

“So Odelia assigned us a bodyguard,” said Harriet proudly. “And soon she’ll probably assign us a couple more. We are VICs, after all.”

“I’m afraid to ask, but what is a VIC?” asked Kingman.

“A Very Important Cat,” said Harriet, then walked off to socialize with her friends.

“Odelia is also going to organize training for us,” I said. “Like dog training?”

Kingman made a face.“That doesn’t sound like a lot of fun. Better you than me, Max.”

“Yeah, I’m not exactly looking forward to it either,” I confessed.

“You know what you should do? Hire a watchcat instead of this human of yours.”

“What do you mean?” asked Dooley.

“You know, like a watchdog, but a feline one.”

“I didn’t even know watchcats existed.”

“Oh, sure.” He glanced at Chase again. “You better give it some thought. I mean, it’s really awkward for a cat to be guarded by a human. Not dignified.”

I saw what he meant. Cats are the kind of pets that are known far and wide for being able to take care of themselves. We’ve never needed a human to take care of us before, and it frankly was humiliating to have Chase tagging along wherever we went.

“That’s so kind of you, Kingman,” said Dooley. “You would really be our watchcat? Guard us with your life?”

“Me? Are you nuts? I was thinking of Clarice. She’s easily Hampton Cove’s toughest cat—her reputation precedes her. I’ll bet that if she took you under her paw, no cat killer would dare to come near you again.”

“Clarice would never take the job,” said Brutus.

“Why not? Everyone can be bought, Brutus, even Clarice.”

But Brutus was shaking his head.“Not Clarice. She’s a free cat, and would never accept payment in exchange for her services.”

“Look, my human has just managed to land himself a date with the most gorgeous female I’ve ever seen. And why do you think that is? Because Wilbur owns a business, and even gorgeous females are susceptible to the siren song of the good old moolah.”

We all stared at the big cat in shock. Wilbur Vickery isn’t exactly Hampton Cove’s most eligible bachelor. In fact he’s probably our town most ineligible bachelor. And to think that he managed to snag a date with a woman was… surprising, to say the least.

“Just ask her,” Kingman suggested. “I’m sure you’ll be able to come to some sort of an understanding.”

It was an avenue worth pursuing I had to agree. Clarice is a feral cat, and as such probably the most intimidating cat in all of Hampton Cove. If she were to guard us around the clock, no wannabe cat killer would get close to us ever again.

“All right,” I said therefore. “It’s worth a shot.”

“She’ll never do it,” Brutus insisted. “Never.”

“Maybe if we ask her nicely?” Dooley suggested.

“Mark my words,” said Brutus. “She’ll laugh in your face, Max.”

Just then, Chase came wandering over, clearly bored after having spent the past half hour on that hard wooden bench.“Just out of curiosity, Max,” said the cop. “How long do these recitals usually go on for?”

I smiled up at the cop, and held up three digits.

He groaned.“Three hours? You’ve got to be kidding me.”

I shook my head. Nope. I wasn’t kidding.

“See?” said Kingman. “You need a cat to watch your back. Only a cat can endure cat choir without wanting to jump off a bridge.”

And with a loud guffaw, he waddled off again.

“Poor Chase,” said Dooley. “He looks very unhappy, doesn’t he, Max?”

“Yeah, he does. Maybe Kingman is right. Guarding cats is not a human’s job.”