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Vesta’s look of confusion was replaced with one of censure. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s you!”

“No, it’s not.”

“It’s clearly you, Vesta.”

“Well, I had to use a model, and so I figured I might as well use myself. Here. Is that better?” And she ripped off the logo and handed the outfit to Scarlett, who immediately dumped it on the next chair, her face showing her extreme contempt for the thing. “I’ve got one for Wilbur, one foryou, and one for Father Reilly, too,” said Vesta, as she emptied the bag and placed them all on the table, next to the plate of pretty little pastries.

“No way in hell is Wilbur going to wear that thing—or Francis, for that matter.”

“Of course they will. And look, I even got these for the cats, in case they want to ride along with us.” And she held up four miniature beige outfits, perfect for cats.

Scarlett had to admit they were cute.“Look, I appreciate all the work you put into this, but I’m not wearing that—ever.”

“But—”

“You can look like a ghostbuster if you want, Vesta. I prefer to look like Sigourney Weaver instead. How about that? Three ghostbusters and one hot crime-fighting mama.”

“Ghostbuster?” asked Vesta, frowning. “What’s a ghostbuster?”

“Wear that outfit and you’ll know. Now let’s talk guns. We can’t go out there unarmed—especially if big-city crime has suddenly decided to sweep into town.”

“I’ve got that covered,” said Vesta, her smile returning, and she placed two futuristic-looking gadgets on the table, on top of the ghostbusters jumpsuits.

“What’s that? asked Scarlett. “Water pistols?”

“Stun guns,” said Vesta. “Perfectly legal, too, and they pack a lot of juice.”

“Stun guns,” said Scarlett doubtfully.

“Zap the bad guys with these things and they won’t know what hit them.”

“They’ll know they haven’t been hit with a real gun, that’s for sure,” said Scarlett, picking one up and turning it this way and that. Then she shrugged. “I guess it’s better than nothing. What else have you got?”

“Pepper spray,” said Vesta, “and this.” And she placed something on the table that looked like a cane.

“What’s this?” asked Scarlett. “Is your hip acting up again?”

“It’s a club,” said Vesta proudly.

“It’s a cane.”

“It’s a club! The website said so.”

“Oh, Vesta,” murmured Scarlett. If she sounded disappointed, it was because she was. “I don’t know about this,” she said finally after swinging the club and almost hitting a passing waiter. “If we’re going up against big-city crime, I just think we need big-city firepower.”

“No can do, I’m afraid,” said Vesta. “For one thing, I don’t have a license, and neither do you, and for another, my son would never allow us to carry weapons in his town.”

“Who cares what Alec thinks? We can’t fight crime with our hands tied behind our backs, Vesta.”

“Well, I do have Jack’s shotgun,” said Vesta, musingly. “I keep it in the garden shed.”

“Now,that’s what I’m talking about.”

“Don’t tell Alec, though, or he’ll confiscate it.”

“I don’t get it. Since when are you so afraid of what your son thinks?”

Vesta sighed.“It’s not just Alec. It’s all of them.” She ticked them off on her fingers: “Chase is a cop, Alec is a cop, Odelia is a private dick, and Charlene is the Mayor. And sometimes I’ve got the feeling they’re all conspiring against me. It’s tough being a weak old lady having to fight offan entire army of law enforcement.”

Scarlett smirked.“Honey, you’ve faced off against bigger enemies. Remember how we used to tussle all the time?”

“Oh, do I?” said Vesta with a wistful gleam in her eye. “Those were the good old days.”

“The Vesta I knew didn’t take prisoners, and she never, ever backed down from a fight.”

Vesta nodded, her shoulders sagging.“The Vesta you’re talking about is long gone. I don’t know what’s going on, but when I woke up this morning I felt old. Old and tired.”

“You probably forgot to take your vitamins.”

“It’s not that. It’s having no allies in my own home. Always having to fight alone.”

“What are you talking about? You’ve got me now, hun. And the rest of the watch. We’re your allies.”

Vesta perked up at that.“You mean that?”

“Sure I mean that. I’m in your corner now, Vesta. And I can assure you I’ve got plenty of fight left in me. Enough fight for the both of us.”

Vesta smiled, and that holy fire was back, Scarlett saw to her satisfaction.“Thanks, Scarlett. I guess I needed to hear that.”

“But being in your corner doesn’t mean I’m wearing that ass-ugly outfit—no way.”

Vesta laughed“Fine. You can wear whatever the hell you want. And tonight? We’re going to kick some ass!”

Chapter 7

Dooley glanced at his friend Max and wasn’t happy with what he saw. Max looked preoccupied, he thought. Worried. And he was pretty sure it had something to do with this whole peeing-in-thewater-bowl episode.

Max was a kind cat—sometimes too kind for his own good. And Dooley was absolutely sure that Max had taken the incident very badly indeed, but was too nice to say it.