Cryptonomicon

"They would have to be aware of the T1 line," Avi says. "That is both more expensive and more interesting than renting some storage space. And it generates a paper trail a mile wide."

"But do they know where it goes?"

"They would only need to go to the telephone company and ask them where the line is terminated."

"Which would give them what? The street address of an office building in Los Altos," Randy says. "There are, what, five office suites in that building."

"But if they were smart--and I'm afraid that Andrew does have this particular kind of intelligence--they would notice that one of those suites is leased by Novus Ordo Seclorum Systems Inc.--a highly distinctive name that also appears on those rent checks."

"And a subpoena against Ordo would follow immediately," Randy says. "When did you first hear about this lawsuit, by the way?"

"I got the call first thing this morning. You were still sleeping. I can't believe you drove down from Seattle in one push. It's like a thousand miles."

"I was trying to emulate Amy's cousins."

"You described them as teenagers."

"But I don't think that teenagers are the way they are because of their age. It's because they have nothing to lose. They simultaneously have a lot of time on their hands and yet are very impatient to get on with their lives."

"And that's kind of where you are right now?"

"It's exactly where I am."

"Horniness too."

"Yeah. But there are ways to deal with that."

"Don't look at me that way," Avi says. "I don't masturbate."

"Never?"

"Never. Formally gave it up. Swore off it."

"Even when you're on the road for a month?"

"Even then."

"Why on earth would you do such a thing, Avi?"

"Enhances my devotion to Devorah. Makes our sex better. Gives me an incentive to get back home."

"Well, that's very touching," Randy says, "and it might even be a good idea."

"I'm quite certain that it is."

"But it's more masochism than I'm really willing to shoulder at this point in my life."

"Why? Are you afraid that it would push you into--"

"Irrational behavior? Definitely."

"And by that," Avi says, "you mean, actually committing to Amy in some way.

"I know you thinkthat you just kicked me in the nuts rhetorically," Randy says, "but your premise is totally wrong. I'm ready to commit to her at any time. But for god's sake, I'm not even sure she's heterosexual. It'd be madness to put a lesbian in charge of my ejaculatory functions."

"If she were a lesbian--exclusively--she'd have had the basic decency to tell you by now," Avi says. "My feeling about Amy is that she steers by her gut feelings, and her gut feeling is that you just don't have the level of passion that a woman like her probably would like to see as a prerequisite for getting involved."

"Whereas, if I stopped masturbating, I would become such a deranged maniac that she could trust me."

"Exactly. That's exactly how women think," Avi says.

"Don't you have some kind of rule against mixing business and personal conversations?"

"This is essentially a business conversation in that it is about your state of mind, and your current level of personal desperation, and what new options it may have opened up for you," Avi says.

They walk for five minutes without saying anything.

Randy says, "I have a feeling that we are about to get into a conversation about tampering with evidence."

"How interesting that you should bring that up. What's your feeling about it?"

"I'm against it," Randy says. "But to beat Andrew Loeb, I would do anything."

"The most cigarettes," Avi points out.

"First, we have to establish that it's necessary," Randy says. "If Andrew already knows where the wreck is, why bother?"

"Agreed. But if he has only a vague idea," Avi says, "then Tombstone becomes perhaps very important--if the information is stored on Tombstone."

"It almost certainly is," Randy says. "Because of my GPS signature. I know I sent at least one e-mail message from Glorywhile we were anchored directly over the wreck. The latitude and longitude will be right there."

"Well, if that's the case, then this could actually be kind of significant," Avi says. "Because if Andrew gets the exact coordinates of the wreck, he can send divers down and do an inventory and come up with some actual figures to use in the lawsuit. He can do this all very quickly. And if those figures exceed about half the value of Epiphyte, which frankly wouldn't be very difficult, then we become indentured servants of the Dentist."

"Avi, it's full of fucking gold bars," Randy says.

"It is?"

"Yes. Amy told me."

It is Avi's turn to come to a stop for a while and make swallowing noises.

"Sorry, I would have mentioned it earlier," Randy says, "but I didn't know it was relevant until now.

"How did Amy become aware of this?"

"Night before last, before she climbed on the plane at SeaTac, I helped her check her e-mail. Her father sent her a message saying that a certain number of intact Kriegsmarine dinner plates had been found on the submarine. This was a prearranged code for gold bars."