Crowfeather's Trial

Onestar raised his tail for silence. “Enough! We need to remember,” he began, “that whatever happened in the past, we are all WindClan cats now. Our unity is more important than anything else. I have forgiven Breezepelt for his part in the Great Battle, and I don’t want to hear another word of accusation against him. This is a vigil, and we are here to honor one of our own. It is not a time for arguing.”

Every cat — even Weaselfur and Leaftail — seemed chastened by their leader’s words. An awkward silence followed, most cats staring at the ground or their own paws. Gradually the outward signs of hostility faded, but Crowfeather could see that beneath the surface the tension was still there.

Suddenly he was glad that Breezepelt hadn’t attended the vigil. Even if the cats hadn’t accused him to his face, he would have felt their distrust and ill will in every hair on his pelt. He’s right to feel as though he doesn’t belong, Crowfeather thought. I don’t know what it would take to prove his loyalty to some of these cats. Maybe it isn’t even possible.

As the time for him to speak drew closer, Crowfeather struggled to find the right words. How do I honor Nightcloud? Perhaps these cats suspect my motives as well, he thought. They’re all watching to see if I’ll mourn the death of a mate I never truly loved, or defend a son I barely know.

But when Crowfeather’s turn came, the words were there. “We will miss Nightcloud,” he mewed simply, “and Breezepelt will always love her.”

Chapter 11

It was a few days after Nightcloud’s vigil, and every one of Crowfeather’s muscles ached with tension as he padded across the tree-bridge to the Gathering island. He swore he could hear hostile voices in the lapping of the black water a tail-length beneath his paws, and the silver glitter of moonlight on the lake seemed to mock the darkness in his heart.

This is far worse than going to Nightcloud’s vigil.

He wished that Onestar hadn’t chosen him to attend the Gathering, and even more that he hadn’t chosen Breezepelt to come with him. He isn’t ready. Breezepelt had stopped using his every waking breath to declare war on the stoats, but he was still clearly grieving. He barely ate anything, and he seemed morose, unable to talk much to any cat — even Heathertail. Now Crowfeather’s son was trailing along behind his Clanmates, enveloped in a fog of misery. When they thrust their way through the bushes into the central clearing, he stayed at the back in the shadow of a holly bush, looking down at his paws with a sullen expression on his face. Crowfeather wondered whether he should go and stand beside him, but then he remembered that Onestar would be announcing the circumstances of Nightcloud’s death at the Gathering.

I shouldn’t draw more attention to Breezepelt right now. I just hope he understands why. I don’t want him to feel any more rejected.

Besides, Crowfeather was still mulling over his dream of the night before, when he had met Ashfoot again, then followed her pale gray shape through the tunnels until he’d caught up with her on the banks of the dark underground river.

“Are you… a ghost?” he had asked her.

“I never thought you were a stupid cat, Crowfeather,” his mother mewed, dismissing his question with an irritated flick of her tail. “I’m what you see in front of you, and I can’t continue to StarClan until I’ve given you a message.”

Crowfeather’s heart raced with anticipation. Can she really tell me something that will put this whole mess right? Can she tell us what to do about the stoats, or how to settle our differences with ThunderClan? Then he remembered what he really wanted — more than peace within the Clan, more than peace with the stoats, more than anything.

Can she tell me how to help Breezepelt?

“What message?” he asked urgently.

But his mother’s response was only a single word. “Love.”

“Love what?” Crowfeather spat out, hugely disappointed. Has death made her mouse-brained? How can she possibly think that love can help me? “Love is no friend of mine. I loved you; I loved Feathertail; I loved Leafpool. Do you see a pattern here? Every cat I’ve loved, I lost.”