The Cognix account was easily the biggest to ever come through our office, and I’d been named as the lead for closing the deal. Other people were always taking credit for my work, and winning this contract would enable me to finally take center stage. The pressure was intense.
With my part done, I sat back and watched my colleague Bertram finish the presentation. I was thinking of my fight with Alex. He’d wanted to move in together, but I really needed my space.
With him, it was always about spending time with his family and brothers and sisters, but they were always judging me. It was a constant source of friction between us, made worse when he kept insisting that it was just my own insecurities. The nerve. He also wanted kids, telling me how I was too focused on my career, but I had no idea how anyone could want to bring a child into this world. It was falling apart.
I couldn’t believe my boss had almost given this jerk Bertram the lead on closing the account. Look at him, pantomiming away in that ridiculous multi–phasic suit, flattering the boss, laughing at his own jokes. Whatever he was doing seemed to be working, however, from the way everyone was reacting to his pitch.
I needed a smoke.
Maybe I was getting too old for this. Kids nowadays had AIs running around doing most of their jobs for them. I had a hard time keeping up with it all. Thinking about kids brought me back thinking about Alex again. Perhaps I had made a terrible mistake. My stomach lurched.
“Cognix, making tomorrow your today!” gushed Bertram the jerk as he finished up, sweeping his hand into the distance with a flourish. There was a smattering of applause.
Wait a minute. That was my tagline. What the hell was he doing presenting that today? I was supposed to be using that tomorrow. We’d agreed on this.
“Something wrong Olympia?” asked my boss, Roger.
Was my boss in on this too?
“Olympia, do you have anything to add?” asked Roger again.
Everyone turned to look at me.
God it was stuffy in here. With a short intake of breath I thought of what I could say to make Bertram look like the fool he was. I tried to shake off sudden vertigo.
“I, uh, I…” I stammered, but I couldn’t get anything out.
All the air in the room evacuated itself and I felt a crushing pain in my chest. Panic flowed hotly into my veins. Gripping my chest, I wrenched myself up from the table and fled out the door in my search for air.
“Someone call a doctor!” I heard Bertram the jerk yelling out behind me as my vision faded and blackness descended.
3
“NOTHING MORE THAN a simple panic attack,” said the doctor.
That was a relief. I guess I knew I wasn’t really having a heart attack, but it was good to hear anyway. The terror had been real enough at the time.
The doctor’s bald pate reflected the overhead panel lighting like a shimmering, sweaty halo above his radiantly clean lab coat. A stethoscope hung uselessly around his neck. He leaned forward over his veneer mahogany desk and clasped his hands, bringing them up to support his chin in what I assumed was his thoughtful pose.
“Are you still smoking?” he asked.
“Yes, I am still smoking, but I stay fit.”
He shrugged and shook his head, sensing this was a fight he didn’t want to get into. He looked at his notes.
“Well, this could be fixable via medication,” he suggested, but I cut that short.
“Look doc, thanks, but no thanks, I’m on a strict organic farmaceutical diet,” I explained hotly. “I need to limit the medications.”
Something about him reminded me of the endless string of men my mother had dated after she’d driven my father off. My parents’ relationship had been doomed from the start. Trying to mix a Greek and a Scot was a surefire recipe for disaster.
“Stress and anxiety are the big killers,” explained the doctor. “Olympia, you really have to take care of this.”
They’d had me as an excuse to try and justify their relationship, an excuse that hadn’t worked despite their best attempts to argue and fight their way through it. And with a name like Olympia McIntyre, I’d never felt like I fit in anywhere growing up, least of all at home. I’d taken my mother’s name, Onassis, as an adult. It was the only thing I wanted from her anymore.
“Olympia, are you all right?” asked the doctor. He’d noticed my attention wandering.
“Yes, yes,” I shot back. “There must be something else, what about some more nanobots?”
“Those still use medications,” he explained. “Mostly they’re just delivery systems.”
“So I have to figure this out myself,” I declared, rolling my eyes and shrugging theatrically, “meditation, relaxation…”
What a load of bullshit, I didn’t need to add.
“Yes, that would probably work best in the long term, but I’m not so sure this would work in your case.”