Clifford D. Simak

The uproar down the hill had quieted now and in a little while Mr. O’Toole came puffing up the path, carrying the two-by-four across one shoulder. He still was purple of face, but apparently from exhaustion rather than from rage. He hurried from the path toward the fence and Maxwell walked out to meet him.

“My great apology,” said Mr. O’Toole, in as stately a voice as he could manage with the shortness of his breath. “I glimpsed you and was happy of your presence, but engaged most earnestly and very urgently. You witnessed, I suspect, the low-down happening.”

Maxwell nodded.

“My mounting stone they took,” raged Mr. O’Toole, “with malicious intent of putting me afoot.”

“Afoot?” asked Maxwell.

“You comprehend most feebly, I see. My mounting stone, up which I must scramble to get astride Old Dobbin. Without a mounting stone there gets no horseback riding and I must trudge afoot unhappily, with much pain and puffing.”

“I see,” said Maxwell. “As you say, at first I did not comprehend.”

“Them dirty trolls,” said Mr. O’Toole, grinding his teeth in fury, “at nothing will they stop. After the mounting stone it would have come the castle, piece by piece, stone by stone, until there be no more than the bareness of the rock upon which it once had roosted. It is necessary, in such circumstance, the bud to nip with quick determination.”

Maxwell jerked his head in a downhill direction. “How did it come out?” he asked.

“We root them out,” said the goblin with some satisfaction. “They scatter like the quail. We dig them out from under rocks and from hiding in the thickets and then we harness them, like so many mules, of which, indeed, they bear a striking likeness, and they drag the mounting stone, most laboriously, I think, back to where they found it.”

“They’re getting back at you,” said Maxwell, “for tearing down their bridge.”

Mr. O’Toole jigged in exasperation. “You are wrong!” he cried. “Out of great and misplaced compassion, we refrained from the tearing of it down. Just two little stones is all-two tiny little stones, and much effective roaring at them. And then they betook the enchantments off the broomstick and also off the sweet October ale and, being simple souls much given to good nature, we let it go at that.”

“They took the enchantment off the ale? I would have thought that impossible once certain chemical changes…”

Mr. O’Toole fixed Maxwell with a look of contempt. “You prate,” he said, “in scientific lingo, which brings no more than errant nonsense. I fail to fathom your engagement in this science when magic you could have for the asking from us and the willingness to learn. Although I must confess the disenchantment of the ale left something for desire. It has a faintly musty touch about the tasting of it.

“Although,” he said, “it is a notch or two improved upon no ale at all. If you would only join me, we could do a sample of it.”

“There has been nothing all day long,” said Maxwell, “that sounds as good as that.”

“Then leave us retire,” cried Mr. O’Toole, “to the drafty halls built so inexpertly by you crazy humans who thought we doted upon ruins and regale ourselves with foaming mugs of cheer.”

In the drafty great hall of the castle, Mr. O’Toole drew the foaming mugs from a mighty cask set upon two sawhorses and carried them to the rough-hewn table before the large stone fireplace in which a smoldering and reluctant fire was smoking rather badly.

“The blasphemy of it,” said Mr. O’Toole, as he lifted his mug, “is that this preposterous outrage of the mounting stone was committed at a time when we goblins were embarked upon a wake.”

“I’m sorry,” Maxwell said. “A wake, you say. I had not been aware…”

“Oh, not one of us,” Mr. O’Toole said quickly. “With the possible exception of myself, in disgusting good health is all the goblin tribe. We were in observance of it for the Banshee.”

“But the Banshee is not dead.”

“Not dead,” said Mr. O’Toole, “but dying. And, oh, the pity of it. He be the last of a great and noble race in this reservation and the ones still left elsewhere in the world can be counted upon less than the fingers of one hand.”

He lifted the mug and buried his muzzle in it, drinking deep and gustily.

When he put it down there was foam upon his whiskers and he left it there, not bothering to wipe it off.

“We die out most notably,” he said, in somber tones. “The planet has been changed. All of us Little Folks and some who are not so little walk down into the valley, where shadows hang so densely, and we are gone from the ken of all living things and that is the end of us. And the very shame of it makes one tremble when he thinks upon it, for we were a goodly people despite our many faults. Even the trolls, before degradation fell upon them, still had a few weak virtues all intact, although I would proclaim that, at the moment, they are destitute of virtue. For surely the stealing of a mounting stone is a very lowdown trick and one which clearly demonstrates they are bereft of all nobility of spirit.”