Class Dis-Mythed

"You, too," I whispered. With another moment of concentration, Gleep became a terrible giant bug, a cross between a cockroach and a firefly. My pet gallumphed happily toward the door. I hope he wouldn't scare them too much. I would hate to be responsible for causing nightmares, when all I wanted was my privacy.

Then, the door swung open.

The last thing I had to worry about was that the three girls on the doorstep might be afraid of blue-skinned crones or flying cockroaches. They were Pervects.

They regarded Bunny with the disdain that natives of Perv had for most other races, completely unconcerned that live spiders swung from her lank tresses, or that her skin appeared to be peeling before their eyes. Aahz had once said that most Klahds looked alike to him.

The smallest one pointed a thumb over her shoulder. "They said in that little hovel down the road that the Great Skeeve lives here."

"Who wants to know?" Bunny shrilled in a voice like an elderly woman.

"We do," the tallest one replied. "This is Freezia and Pologne. I'm Jinetta. He knows my great-aunt, Vergetta. Can we see him?"

My ears perked up at the name of one of my recent acquaintances. I hurried to the door.

"Hi," I greeted them, holding out a hand to each one. "I'm Skeeve. What can I do for you?"

Pologne glared at me. "You're Skeeve?"

"That's me," I said.

My admission seemed to spark the expressions of horror that my illusion spells had not.

"This?" Freezia demanded of Jinetta. "This is the Great Skeeve your aunt was so impressed by? This skinny little Klahd? We've been had!"

"No, no, I really am Skeeve," I protested. I glanced past them to see if any of the locals were in sight. "Come on in."

I got the door closed behind them just in time to keep the argument from scaring every woodland creature for miles.

"You've got to be kidding!" Freezie shrieked.

"I told you he was a Klahd!" Jinetta said.

"Yeah, but he's a baby!" Pologne said. "We came all this way, wasting more time which we do NOT have, and what do we get? A kid! Barely out of swaddling clothes."

"A baby!" Freezia agreed.

"Er," I said, seeing the glee on Bunny's face. "I'm not a baby."

"Yeah, but you don't look like the guru of magik, either," Jinetta explained, sheepishly. "No offense."

"None taken," I replied. I blinked. "Guru of what?"

"Magik," Freezia snapped out. "We need a magik tutor. Now. Today."

"ME???!!!???"

Jinetta nodded. "My aunt assured me that you were the slickest operator she'd ever met, someone who can get a job done with no wasted effort. And your business manager gave us a big buildup, too."

"His what?" Bunny demanded.

"Business manager. Aahz. He said you were hot stuff. Just what we were hoping for."

"Aahz did?" I asked, now thoroughly puzzled. I knew Aahz's opinion of my skills. He'd told me enough times that if, magik were wind, I couldn't produce an audible poof.

"And Aahz told you I was the one you wanted?"

"Here," Jinetta said impatiently. She opened her buttermilk-yellow briefcase and rooted around with it. She came up with two rolls of parchment, one a long screed in ornate and difficult script asking me for a little favor, to help out her niece and her friends, signed by Vergetta. The other was a note scrawled by Aahz on the back of an old shopping list:

"Nice girls. They need some polishing up. Thought you could handle it. Aahz.."

"Well," I breathed. I felt honored that my ex-partner had so much faith in me. Bunny had been trying to read the notes over my shoulder. I passed them to her.

"Well," I asked the three, clapping my hands together, "what do you need to learn? I, er, could get you started on some basic magik."

Pologna snorted and threw up her hands. "I told you he was strictly amateur hour!"

"We don't need basics" Jinetta said. "We're all graduates of MIP. Summa cum laude. We can give you credentials, if you need them."

"Oh." I felt very young and inept next to such well-educated Pervects. "Then what exactly do you need from me?"

"We'd like to intern with you for a few weeks, get a handle on practical uses of the arts. Your business manager said you'd welcome the chance to mentor a few worthy pupils. We all took degr—"

"How much?" Bunny interrupted.

We all looked at her in surprise.

"How much did you pay Aahz?" Bunny asked.

"Why?" Freezia countered, suddenly suspicious.

"Well, we need to know if you've signed up for basic instruction, or something more advanced. Let me see your receipts." Bunny held out an imperious hand.

"She's the bursar," I added when the three hesitated. I thought about it, and realized her wits were more in tune than mine. We both knew Aahz must have found a financial angle. It wasn't just altruism and belief in my skills that had prompted him to send me three apprentices. He'd dumped me into the drink a few times in the past with his passion for gold. Bunny was almost certainly right. There had to be some serious money involved.