Class Dis-Mythed

"You are being very kind to a stranger, especially one who tried to kill you," the Manticorean said as Tolk leaped up on his back and climbed up to perch on his shoulder. Tolk laid his paws on the other's shaggy mane.

"Would you rather we killed you?" I asked.

Evad thought about it. "I might save face that way," he said. "I will go back now in disgrace. An officer in the Royal Manticorean Navy, getting lost in the wrong dimension like a first-year student! Ah, that is better. But, alas, I am sober now! Thank you, brown-and-white being."

"Tolk's the name," the Canidian said cheerfully, leaping down. "You're good as new."

"More likely I will die attached to this fierce plant!" the Manticore said dramatically.

"Not really," I said. "The sap runs when it gets warm. All we have to do is heat it, and you'll slide right off. No problem, apart from the thorns."

"I will bear the pain," Evad said bravely. "I do it for the honor of our Queen."

"Hey, Gleep." I put out a hand, and my pet ran to me. "Can you warm the sap just a little bit? Not enough to set it on fire."

"Gleep!" my dragon replied happily. He dashed to the side of the tree and exhaled. A flame tickled out from his throat, and the brown goo began to bubble. The Manticore writhed and tried to pull his feet up out of reach.

"What are you doing, O wizard?" Evad wailed. "Would you burn me at the stake?"

"Gleep?" my pet turned large, puzzled blue eyes up toward the Manticore.

Jinetta put up a timid hand. "May we try? That is one spell we use frequently, to heat bathwater in our dorms. It would be nice to put it to use in a real-world setting."

"Go right ahead." I took the time to ponder Evad's pride problem.

The Pervects gathered around the tree and concentrated. The gluey resin changed from opaque to translucent and began to swell slightly. I had an idea even before the Manticore slid to the ground with a bang.

"Too bad," Melvine said. "A Manticore head would have looked pretty impressive over my mantlepiece."

"You are a fierce opponent, Klahd," the Manticore said as the rest of the goo dripped off him in sheets.

"Thanks, but I'm not a Klahd. I'm a Cupy."

The Manticore made a courtly bow. "I am corrected. I am afraid you all look alike to me."

"Well, you better remember in the future," Melvine said, his baby face fierce. "We're tougher than we look."

"Stop threatening him, Melvine," I said. "Hitting a fellow when he's down is small-minded."

"That's not what my aunt does," Melvine interrupted me. "She—"

"And Markie put your education in my hands," I interrupted back, as the Pervects moved in, ears pricked with curiosity. "Does that tell you anything?"

"Er, do what she says, not what she does?" Melvine ventured.

"Let's start there." I turned to the Manticore.

"What can I do, O Skeeve," Evad asked miserably. "I am an honorable male, but on an ensign's pay I don't have the funds to make up for the trouble I caused, nor do I have the time to work off the amount. I have no valuables except my insigne."

"Well," Bee suggested, "you wouldn't be the first ensign to have to hock his uniform to pay his way out of trouble. It happened a fair amount in the Possiltum army. You can redeem it later."

"I couldn't," Evad said, horrified. "It belongs to the Queen!"

"I have an idea," I said. "That venom of yours: does it kill or wound?"

"It depends upon what I mean it to do," Evad said, his big face puzzled. "Most of the time it will only make the flesh swell up and become painful. Those people I struck will recover, unless I pierced them in a vital area. I will apologize to them. I am ashamed to have used brute force on civilians."

"No, that's not what I mean," I said. "I'm more interested in the venom itself. So, you can produce it in different strengths, or are they different fluids?"

The Manticore looked as though he was getting another headache. "I do not know, O Skeeve. I have never really thought about it. Why?"

"I'm doing comprehensive magikal studies," I explained. "Could you, er, give me a sample of each kind? I would like to study them. I'd like to do some experiments to see if there is any difference, and if either is good for other magikal purposes. I'd pay you for them. A fair price."

Evad looked suspicious.

"I could do that," he said. "But such a small amount will not discharge my debt to the people of that village."

"Oh, I think it will," I said airily. "Here's my offer: I'd be willing to pay you the going rate for Manticore venom on Klah."

"There is no Manticore venom on Klah, so far as I know," Bee said. "I would have heard about a weapon like that when I was in the army."

"That would make it pretty valuable, wouldn't it?" I asked innocently. Evad perked up as he began to catch my drift.

"O Skeeve, if you would do that, I would be your servant for life!"

"Let's not go that far," I said hastily. "What about the deal?"

"Yes! I agree! Shall we drink on it?" Evad asked congenially. "Where is my bottle?"

"Maybe we should just shake hands," I suggested.