Class Dis-Mythed

Tolk gulped the rest of his meal down in five bites, then gazed over his empty bowl at everyone in turn with big, sad, puppy-dog eyes. I didn't know if he was hoping for leftovers, or he had a bellyache from eating the strange food. No question about Melvine; he was in a full-scale sulk, peering down at the squirming objects in his bowl. He had only eaten one of them. I could tell that he was trying to figure out a way to persuade me not to make him eat the others. I calmly beamed another 'bite' from the kitchen and went on with my meal. Bunny and I went on with our conversation, doing our best to include our visitors.

"Oh, yes, I did see something fun, Skeeve! The semi-final of Sink or Swim: Imper was on the Crystal Ball Network last night," Bunny said gleefully. "Five full-grown Imps knocked on their fannies by one itty bitty female Gremlin. They were

all disqualified at once. They should never underestimate girl power. Right, Freezia?" she asked, turning to the Pervect on my right.

The medium-sized student didn't reply.

"I'd have said, don't underestimate Gremlins," I chuckled, picking up the verbal ball and running with it. "I'm surprised she was visible for the crystal ball. Gremlins are hard to spot." I knew; I'd met a few in my time.

Bunny broke off a crust of bread. "Oh, well, they have magicians with several crystals focused on the site at the same time," she explained. "And a master magician coordinating the images to transmit to all of us viewers. She couldn't possibly keep out of sight of all of them at once. She goes on to the final contest with two or three others. The Deveel, the Gargoyle, and I think one other. It's so exciting! I wonder how they think of all the contests they have to go through!"

With the inevitable before them, the other students were finally letting themselves experiment. Freezia was trying out a sense-deadening spell so she didn't taste anything. She had to be careful not to bite her tongue or eat her own fingers. She bit the bowls off two spoons before she finally got the hang of eating, and was making steady if unhappy progress.

Pologne went the other way in terms of sensory input. She did a reanimation spell on the green meat. It jumped and writhed just like a genuine Pervish meal. She seemed to get some satisfaction out of chasing down and stabbing the chunks of meat, even if they were the wrong color and wrong texture. Jinetta threw an illusion on her food so it looked like and even smelled like the real thing. Pologne was still keeping her eye on me.

"I think Sink or Swim is kind of silly," I said. "I know crystal ball viewing is becoming more popular throughout the dimensions. I prefer seeing events in person."

"Well, we can't all get to where things are happening, Skeeve," Bunny said. "And if we did, there's no guarantee you

would get a view as good as the magicians give us. Did you ever gaze while you were at college?" Bunny asked Jinetta.

The tallest Pervect froze. To cover her sudden discomfort, she speared some of her food. "Not much," she said shortly. She popped the wriggling mass into her mouth. "I did at home."

"Well, what did you like?"

"Er, nothing much." She stopped to spear a gooey pink organism that was probably a piece of corned beef in disguise.

"How about you, Tolk?"

"Not allowed on the couch," the doglike male said in some embarrassment. "I like to chew on the cushions, and Mama just didn't put up with it. I'm hoping to break the habit. I'm down to one throw pillow a day, but it's hard."

"That's tough," Bee said sympathetically. "I used to bite my nails as a kid. Papa cured it by painting iodine on 'em."

"Why would that help?" Jinetta asked. "Iodine's delicious. I like it on ice cream."

"Finished!" Melvine announced, pushing his empty bowl away. "How about that, Teach?"

I raised my eyebrows. The food was gone. I probed the dish with a mere thread of magikal energy, but it was really empty.

"Hey, wow, terrific, Melvine!" Tolk cheered, always ready to offer encouragement. "Way to go!"

"Impressive, Cupy," Pologne said grudgingly.

"Mmm," Freezia murmured, keeping her attention fastened on what she was doing.

"Well done, Melvine," I said, enchanting a new piece of food and impaling it on my fork. I even made it wiggle for effect.

"Thanks, Teach," the big baby said, leaning back with his hands interlaced behind his head. "Say, that was weird. But, you know, I'm still hungry. I could go for a big bowl of mush. How about it?"

"Maybe you oughtta eat the rest of your dinner first, Mel," Bee said unexpectedly.

The Cupy sat up suddenly. "Huh?"

"Well, I noticed something go whizzing by my nose a minute ago, and I'll swear it smelled like this," Bee said, holding out a stunned glob of goo. "In fact, a while before that, one of 'em landed flat in my plate."

"Why didn't you say something, Bee?" I asked, even though I could have quoted his answer almost word for word.