Class Dis-Mythed

"Stay in a tent?" Jinetta asked disdainfully. "Why not go back to the inn?"

"Because," I explained patiently, yet once again, "this is a test of your practical skills. You may never sleep outside again, but you're going to try it for one night."

"But it's inconvenient," Freezia said.

"Yes, it is," I said cheerfully. "Well, the tents won't put themselves up!"

"Sure they will," Melvine said. He aimed a thumb at the nearest bundle of canvas and string. The stiff arrangement of sheets

animated, billowing out to the correct shape. Pleased with himself, Melvine relaxed his spell. The tent promptly collapsed.

"I'll help you," Corporal Bee said, starting toward the puzzled Cupy. "You forgot to put up the tent poles—"

I put a hand in his chest and pushed him back.

"Let him solve the problem," I said. "You can help me get the campfire going."

"Yes, sir, I mean, Skeeve."

"I know how to do it," Pologne said. "I reached the rank of Tracker in the Perv Scouts." She marched over to the next folded tent and started to take it apart. Melvine pretended not to care, but I could see him shooting furtive glances in her direction to see how she did it.

"What do we do about...?" Jinetta whispered in her friend's ear.

Pologne turned to me. "I don't suppose you have a shovel, do you?"

Jinetta immediately added two and two together.

"You're kidding," she exclaimed.

"Nope," I said. "No chamber pots out here. No flush toilets. Just the basics: you and a hole in the ground."

Freezia wore a meditative expression. "I suppose we could blink the you-know-what away."

"Don't waste power," I said firmly. "It won't kill you to use primitive means for one night."

"Yes," Pologne said. "I have done it."

"Me, too," Bee put in.

"Who cares about you?" Jinetta said, rolling her eyes.

In spite of the Pervects' disdain, Bee generously lent the camping equipment in his gigantic field pack for the others to use. Jinetta and Freezia disappeared over the ridge of the hill, and returned looking relieved but chagrined.

"That was disgusting" Jinetta was saying. "This had better help us a lot."

Fortunately, Jinetta's pack contained enough camp rations for all three Pervects. I had to grin at the expressions on the

faces of the other three students as she ripped open a packet and dumped purple and brown lumps into a big dish.

"Are they dead?" Pologne asked, prodding the lumps disdainfully.

"No, just stunned," Jinetta assured her. As she spoke, the mess began to stir.

"It's alive!" Tolk barked.

"Of course it's alive, you silly canid," Freezia said. "Pervects don't eat dead food. Did you bring anything to put on them?"

"No," Jinetta sighed. "They were out of sweet and sour sauce at the camping store."

"Oh, Crom," Pologne said. "We have to eat them with no sauce?"

They divided up the dish and began to pick at their shares without enthusiasm.

Bee produced hard bacon and biscuit from the depths of his pack and set them simmering over the fire. I had a crock of stew that Bunny had cooked for us. I took the preservative spell off it and set it to heat up. Tolk tried bites of each. I thought it smelled pretty good, but he was unimpressed.

"No flavor," he said. "I mean, maybe it's nourishing, but bland!"

Melvine wouldn't eat anything at all. "I can't believe you didn't bring any mush for me," he said. "That's all right! First you try to drown me, and now you starve me! What's that?"

A fly the size of my fingertip zipped past the campfire. A few more circled around, and zoomed out of the light.

"Bugs!" he wailed. "I hate bugs!" He pointed a finger at them.

"Melvine, no!"

"Why," I asked again, as we sheltered underneath a rocky overhang with a huge dung fire going at the entrance to our makeshift cave, clutching our food to us in the tight quarters, "why didn't you just use a repelling spell? Why did you try to blow them up?"

"You have to admit, he succeeded," Tolk said, with a touch of humor. "He blew them up, all right."

Beyond the fire we could see and hear the giant stinging wasps bu2zing furiously as they tried to get in at us. I strengthened the repellent spell I had placed on the cave mouth. I had conserved most of my power, knowing I would need it for many minor emergencies. Like this one.

"And our dinner burned because we had to get away from the killer bugs he created," Bee added.

"You're eating it anyway. The smell is making us sick," Pologne said. Again.

I shook my head. I knew that Pervects could eat anything, but these three had never been exposed to other kinds of food. They were very young.

"It's cold," Jinetta said. "How is it that it was so hot all day, and now it is freezing?" She huddled as near the fire as she dared, shivering in her thin clothes. I cast a light warming spell in the cave. Everyone relaxed visibly and finished their dinner without too many more complaints.