Clandestine

At a nearby novelty store I purchased three reasonably realistic-looking badges designating me "Deputy Sheriff," "Official Police Stenographer," and "International Investigator." When I scrutinized that last one more closely, I threw it out the window of my car—it had the distinct look of a kiddies' cereal box giveaway. But the others looked real, my business cards looked real, and the .38 automatic in my suitcase was real. I found a hotel room on the north side and went to bed early; I had a hot date with history, and I wanted to be rested for it.

Southern Wisconsin was colored every conceivable shade of green. I crossed the Illinois-Wisconsin border at eight o'clock in the morning and left the wide eight-lane interstate, pushing my '52 Ford sedan north on a narrow strip of blacktop through a succession of dairy farms interrupted every few miles or so by small lakes.

I almost missed Tunnel City, spotting the turn-off sign at the last moment. I swung a sharp right-hand turn and entered a two-lane road that ran straight through the middle of a giant cabbage field. After half a mile a sign announced "Tunnel City, Wis. Pop. 9,818." I looked in vain for a tunnel, then realized as I dropped down into a shallow valley that the town was probably named for some kind of underground irrigation system that fed water to the endless fields of cabbage that surrounded it.

The town itself was intact in every respect from fifty years ago: red brick courthouse, red brick grain and feed stores, red brick general store; white brick drugstore, grocery store, and public library. The focal point for the little community seemed to be the two tractor supply stores, glass-fronted, situated directly across the street from each other, their crystal-clear windows jammed with spanking-new farm machinery.

A few sunburned men in coveralls stood in front of each store, talking good-naturedly. I parked my car and joined one group on the sidewalk. It was very hot and very humid, and I immediately shed my suit coat. They spotted me for a city slicker right away, and I saw subtle signals pass between them. I knew I was going to be the butt of some jokes, so I resigned myself to it.

I was about to say "Good morning" when the largest of the three men immediately in front of me shook his head sadly and said, "Not a very good morning, young fellow."

"It is a bit muggy," I said.

"You from Chicago?" a small beetle-browed man asked. His small blue eyes danced with the knowledge that he had a live one.

I didn't want to disappoint him. "I'm from Hollywood. You can get anything you want in Hollywood except good sauerkraut juice, so I came to Wisconsin because I couldn't afford a trip to Germany. Take me to your wisest cabbage."

This got a big laugh all around. I dug into my coat pocket and brought out a handful of my business cards, giving one to each man. "Fred Underhill," I said, "Amalgamated Insurance, Los Angeles." When the stolid-looking farmers didn't seem impressed, I dropped my bomb: "You men ever read the L.A. papers?"

"No reason to," the big man said.

"Why?" the beetle-browed man asked.

"What's it got to do with the price of cheese in Wisconsin?" another asked.

I took that as my cue: "A Tunnel City girl was murdered in Los Angeles last month. Marcella DeVries. Married name Harris. The killer hasn't been found. I'm investigating a claim and working with the L.A. police. Marcella was here four years ago, and she may have been back even later than that. I need to talk to people who knew her. I want the son of a bitch who killed her. I . . ." I let my voice trail off.

The men were staring at me blankly. Their lack of expression told me they knew Marcella DeVries and weren't surprised about her murder. Their immobile faces also told me that Marcella DeVries was an anomaly to them, far beyond the limits of their smalltown bailiwick.

No one said a word. The other group of tractor worshipers had halted their conversation and were staring at me. I pointed across the street to a white three-story building that bore a sign reading "Badger Hotel—Always Clean Rooms."

"Are the rooms there really always clean?" I asked my rapt audience.

No one answered.

"I'll be staying there," I said. "If any of you want to talk to me, or know anyone who might, that's where I'll be."

I locked my car, got my suitcase out of the trunk, and walked to the Badger Hotel.

I lay on my clean bed for four hours, in my skivvies, waiting for an onslaught of farmers bent on detailing every aspect of the life of Marcella DeVries Harris. No one called or knocked on my door. I felt like the marshal summoned to clean up the rowdy town who finds that the townsfolk are unaccountably afraid of him.