Charlie the Kitten Who Saved a Life

‘Frustrated with what?’

I sighed. To be fair, I had trouble rationalising it myself. On the surface, my job was everything I wanted it to be. I loved seeing and spending time with all the animals, especially the regulars, but I’d always hoped for something more. I’d never really told Adam how strong my desire was to become a vet myself one day, though of course he knew I’d taken the City & Guilds course in Animal Care the previous year. His view was that I was ‘only’ the receptionist – as if I wasn’t all too aware of this already – and wasn’t employed to start ‘scrubbing up and interfering in operations’.

I’d taken the course with the intention that it would allow me to help out occasionally at the clinic. Playing with my favourite pets while they waited in the reception area was nice, obviously, but it wasn’t where I saw myself further down the line.

‘I just don’t have the chance to do anything with what I learned.’

‘You’re not one of the nurses,’ he said, with a slight lift of his eyebrows, ‘or one of the vets.’

‘I’m not that stupid, Adam. I just thought they’d let me help out if they needed an extra pair of hands. Holding a difficult patient or calming them down, that kind of thing.’ I sipped my drink, wishing yet again that I hadn’t brought up the subject.

‘You must have known what the job description was when you accepted the post.’

‘Of course I did, but that was four years ago and … well.’ I shook my head. This was going nowhere. ‘Let’s just say I’m starting to feel like I want a change.’

When I’d first moved to London from Norfolk to take up the much longed-for position of working with animals, I was perhaps a tad starry-eyed and naïve. The reality of living in London had been a series of shocks, mostly of the financial variety – I rented a tiny single room, no bigger than a matchbox, in an upstairs flat which I shared with two other girls – and the reality of being a receptionist in an inner-city veterinary clinic was not how I had envisioned it. I don’t know why I’d allowed myself to assume it would eventually lead to something other than what it was. It wasn’t the job. It was me.

‘Perhaps you’re just in a bit of a rut,’ Adam said. ‘Maybe you’ll feel differently when we buy a place together.’

And that was the other thing. I might have been naïve when I first moved to London, but the scales had long since fallen from my eyes. It amazed me that Adam continued to think it was only a matter of time before we could afford to get a place together – neither of us was exactly earning mega bucks. Adam was living with his parents in Hampstead, claiming to be saving up, and while I couldn’t deny the idea of one day setting up home together had once been an exciting prospect, as time passed it seemed more and more unrealistic. In fact, the difficulties seemed to be all I thought about these days, and I’d started to question whether I actually wanted our relationship to last at all.

I wasn’t ready to confront these thoughts, though, so I changed tack and gave Adam an apologetic smile.

‘OK, maybe I’m just being silly,’ I said. ‘You’re right: I knew from the start what my job was all about, and at least it’s better than working in that estate agents’ office back in King’s Lynn.’

‘Exactly. I don’t suppose there was much contact with dogs and cats there.’ He smiled and took my hand.

‘And of course, I do want us to move in together,’ I went on, ignoring the doubts at the back of my mind. ‘It’s just so difficult. I wonder how we’ll ever manage it.’

‘At least we can try, though. We can still have our dreams.’

I smiled back at him. ‘I do dream about it, actually. A lot, as a matter of fact. I like to fantasise about a pretty little cottage somewhere in the country. It has a huge garden all around it where the dogs can run free, with apple trees where the children can climb and swing from the branches—’

I stopped short. What on earth was I thinking of, sharing that with him? But it was too late. He’d stopped smiling and had taken his hand away from mine.

‘More of a fairy tale than a dream, that one, isn’t it?’ he said. ‘I mean, if you’re going to be that unrealistic, no wonder you think we’ll never be able to afford it.’

‘I know. I did say it was just a fantasy.’

‘We both work in London. It’ll have to be a flat. And as for a garden, forget it. Quite apart from the fact that you know I don’t particularly like dogs.’ And then he added under his breath, ‘Or children.’

‘Since when have you not liked children?’ I asked, taken aback. ‘That’s a new one to me.’ It was one thing he wasn’t an animal lover, but I didn’t quite know if I could process that he didn’t like children either.

‘OK, I don’t not like them, but I’ve never wanted any of my own. Not for a long time, anyway, if at all. Maybe when I’m about forty I might feel differently …’ He looked at me sharply. ‘You’re not getting broody or anything, are you?’