Charlie the Kitten Who Saved a Life

‘I was neutered before I was old enough to want to mate with anyone,’ I tried to explain to the boys when their banter had finally died down. ‘Our humans get us done because they want to take care of us. They don’t want our females to have lots of kittens who might not be looked after by anyone.’

‘Our females look after their own kittens,’ Black retorted. ‘Well, for a few weeks, anyway, till they can fend for themselves.’

And then they just end up living rough, like you, I wanted to say. But I knew it was no use. They’d never understand. The gulf between our lifestyles was too vast.

But the one thing they envied, once they were actually convinced I wasn’t faking, was my ability to understand Human. That same day, I proved my worth to them by translating a very interesting conversation that was going on outside the little café near our yard. Two females were sitting together at a table with cups in their paws, talking earnestly about seagulls.

‘Damn things are a real nuisance,’ one of them said, pointing out a couple of gulls circling above. ‘Ever since a few people were attacked, it’s been putting off holidaymakers from coming here.’

‘I know. Business is going down the pan for the beach cafés and kiosks. Nobody wants to risk eating in the open air.’

I remembered how we were told the same thing by the Annie female who owned our holiday cottage. And because I still felt cross about Caroline having her finger bitten, I listened closely to the women now.

‘It’s the fault of people who leave their food rubbish lying around,’ the first one said. ‘I’m glad the council’s putting up new notices, warning people about dropping litter and threatening them with fines. It’s about time they clamped down on it.’

‘Yes, and on the people who feed the gulls, too! Some holidaymakers think they’re being kind, until they get swooped on and pecked. The gulls should be left to feed themselves with their natural food.’

‘There are signs up now about that too,’ said the other woman. ‘Please Do Not Feed the Gulls. They are Becoming a Nuisance. I just hope it works, otherwise Mudditon is never going to recover from this year’s slump in bookings.’ She paused, and I suddenly realised she was looking straight at me. I’d been so interested in what they were saying, I’d poked my head a little way out of the hiding place behind the fence where I’d been resting with the gang. ‘Look at that little cat watching us,’ she said, nudging her companion. ‘Haven’t seen him around here before.’

‘No. I suppose he’s one of the ferals, but he doesn’t seem as nervous as most of them, does he, Jean? Hello, puss!’

I shrank back behind the fence. Big was growling at me.

‘Stay out of sight, Charlie, for catnip’s sake! I keep telling you – you might like humans, but they don’t like us!’

‘Sorry. I’m trying to listen to what they’re saying. It’s interesting. I’ll tell you in a minute.’

‘Well, I know some people think they’re a nuisance,’ the first woman went on, ‘but the feral cats do have their uses.’

‘Do they? I can’t think what, although I do feel sorry for them.’

‘Well, there was a bit in the local paper this week about how they prowl around at night, foraging for food in the streets and around the bins. They’re actually keeping down the amount of food waste, Shirley. I’d sooner the wild cats ate the leftovers people throw away, than the seagulls, and hopefully in the end they’ll give up, if there isn’t enough food lying around for them, and they’ll go back to eating their natural diet.’

‘Yes, that’s true, I suppose. And of course, the cats keep down the numbers of rats and mice, too. It’s a shame they can’t catch the odd seagull! Or at least chase them away. Then we’d really have cause to be grateful to them.’

‘Yes, and perhaps the council would stop threatening to exterminate the poor things. They should realise they’re actually performing a public service!’

Their conversation turned to something less interesting then, so I turned back to the other cats and related what I’d overheard.

‘She actually said we perform a public service?’ Black meowed in surprise.

‘I thought all the humans hated us,’ said Tail-less.

‘Well, it seems like some of them, at least, realise that you’re helping to keep the seagulls away by getting to the food waste before they do,’ I said. ‘Of course, if you could catch seagulls, or chase them off, you’d make yourselves really popular, but that’s not going to happen, is it.’

There was a silence.

‘You’re surely not going to tell me you can catch seagulls?’ I said in disbelief. ‘They’re huge! And scary!’

‘Sadly, that’s something even we wouldn’t attempt,’ Big said. ‘But chasing them away? We haven’t tried that yet. What do you think, boys? Might be a bit of fun!’

‘Are you mad?’ I said. ‘They’ve got those massive great beaks. They’ll turn on you and take a bite out of your faces!’