Charlie the Kitten Who Saved a Life

Tabitha, please don’t cry. Or you, Nancy. I did warn you, didn’t I, about the scary parts? Honestly, nobody would believe the pair of you are my sisters, you’ve got such nervous dispositions, for the siblings of a local hero. Do you want to go home? No? You’re too excited about the rest of the story? Well, in that case I’d better get on with it!

Can you imagine how I felt, my friends, limping along the pavement in that strange place, with every bone in my body hurting and blood dripping down my face, knowing I was probably going to be finished off at any moment? If I hadn’t been so angry, I’d have gone in the opposite direction, trust me. But I hobbled on, round the corner where I’d seen my attackers go, and into an alleyway that eventually came out in a small yard. There were big tall buildings around the yard, but it didn’t look like anyone lived there – everything was closed up and some of the windows were broken. There was one lamppost, right in the far corner and, as I approached, I saw him sitting there – the big one-eared tortie – and he was on his own. I had the advantage of being in the shadows, but on the other hand he was twice my size and presumably had two working eyes against my one.

I flattened myself against the wall of a building and crept slowly closer. He was engrossed in washing himself, and didn’t even look up once before I finally made my move. I’d like to say I pounced, but although I’m proud of the fact that I took him by surprise, I have to admit it was more a case of flopping myself at him, with what little strength I had left. I’d timed it so that I got him while he was engaged in cleaning his private parts, so I was able to knock him off balance without too much trouble. He made a grunt of surprise as he toppled backwards, and I immediately threw myself on top of him and, yowling my fury straight in his ear, I took a very satisfying bite out of his neck.

‘Ouch! What in the name of bloody catnip?’ he squawked, in his peculiar Cat accent. ‘Get off me! Who the dog’s backside are you? Boys! Where are you! I’m being attacked!’

He squirmed, trying to get to his paws, but I aimed a swipe for his face and followed it up with another bite. Nevertheless, it didn’t take long for him to throw me off. He was skinny, but muscular as well as being big, and I hadn’t hurt him anywhere near as much as I’d been hurt. I put my head down and hissed, waiting for him to start on me again, but just as he was aiming his claws at me, he suddenly blinked in surprise and growled: ‘Well, by my tail and whiskers! If it ain’t the little Cowardy Cat, come back for more.’

‘Take that back,’ I hissed, forcing myself to sound really brave. ‘I’m not a Cowardy Cat. It was four or five of you against one.’ Out of the corner of my good eye, I saw some dark shapes moving towards us in the shadows. ‘And if your boys are coming back to do the same thing again, then they’ll probably succeed in finishing me off. If you think that’s a fair fight, then I don’t know what kind of hovel you were all brought up in …’

‘Talk posh, don’t you, Sunshine?’ He lowered his paw. ‘All right, boys!’ he called. ‘It’s only the little Cowardy—’ He stopped, looked me up and down, and then went on: ‘The little brave tabby from earlier on. No, leave him alone, Black. We’ve already done him enough damage, and it took a lot of guts for him to come after me. He doesn’t look very old but he’s a good fighter.’

And do you know what? He lay back down again, deliberately, in the submissive position in front of me. I could hardly believe my one eye. The other cats hung back, waiting, and when he got to his paws again he came up and rubbed himself against me.

‘Sorry about earlier,’ he said gruffly. ‘But for the love of catnip, what’s a posh lad like you doing around these parts?’

‘I got lost,’ I said. Now the danger seemed to be over and I was apparently still alive, I was starting to shake from head to tail. ‘My humans are staying somewhere around here, but I don’t know where.’

‘Your humans?’ he repeated, looking at me as if I’d spoken in Dog or Cow or something. ‘You have your own pet humans?’

I might be a bit slow, but it was actually only then that the truth dawned on me. These guys were the real deal – the alley cats we’ve all been warned to stay away from, the ones our mothers told us scary stories about before we could even walk. Ferals. The very word strikes fear into the heart of a cosseted domestic cat. Yes, I’m not surprised you’ve all frozen in terror.

‘Um, yes,’ I squawked, starting to back away.

‘And is it true that they let you live in their houses?’ he asked, staring at me now with wide eyes. ‘And feed you, and give you funny names? Don’t run away, I’m not going to hurt you anymore. I want to know all about it. Gather round, boys. This young tabby lives with humans! Have they given you a funny name? What is it?’

‘Charlie,’ I meowed quietly. They all stared at me in stunned silence.