Catch As Cat Can

                "Ballistic." Diego smiled wanly."Family is, oh, I can't say more important in my country but tighter, a deeper sense of obligation perhaps. Here the job comes first-or so it seems to me. Home, it's family. And like everything, that's both good and bad. You see, we have ruling families and they ask not what is best for Uruguay but what is best for the family."

                "I think I understand. And you come from such a family."

                "My father and grandfather would like to think so."

                "Perhaps the weekend can take your mind off your crossroads.'

                "Or help me make a decision. One hates to disappoint one's family, no?-but one hates to violate one's self."

                "Entire novels have been written about that." Harry turned back toward the mountains."Where is Thomas Steinmetz?"

                Diego replied, "He had some business to attend to but will be a the tea. You must know that your county is overflowing with retiree ambassadors, diplomats, senior officials, and senior officers of the military."

                By the time Harry dropped Diego back at the guest house at BoomBoom's place, they had learned a lot about one another. Perhaps the most important thing was that they both had a sense of humor.

                The phone rang as Harry struggled with her panty hose.

                "How do you like Diego?" BoomBoom asked.

                "He's handsome and charming."

                "I thought you'd like him. His passion is farming."

                "Yes, we discovered that. Are you calling me just to find out if I like him?" Harry remained suspicious of Boom.

                "Well, no. I need your help. Roger O'Bannon insulted Lottie ear son and she's mad at me anyway-all the more so since she laid yes on Diego. I asked Aunt Tally if she might disinvite Roger and she wouldn't hear of it, but you know how Aunt Tally likes a scene, thought you might speak to her. She likes you better than she likes me."

                "BoomBoom, since when are you solicitous of Lottie Pearson? There's more than you're telling me."

                "No, really there isn't. I was hoping to spare Aunt Tally a scene."

                "For God's sake, BoomBoom, as you said, Aunt Tally lives for a scene." Harry started to laugh.

                "You're right. I contradicted myself." BoomBoom sighed deeply."I was hoping to spare myself."

                Aunt Tally was about to get her scene all right but it wasn't the one BoomBoom anticipated.

                9

                In order for a Virginia party to be a success certain things must occur; First; someone has to leave in tears. Second, someone has to pass out due to overindulgence. Third, there has to be a fistfight, and last, someone has to fall in love.

                If pressed on these qualities most Virginians would decry the fistfight, the tears, and the drunkenness, but not Aunt Tally. Forthright about life being theater, or at least her parties being theater, she mixed her guests like water and sulfuric acid, then waited for the explosion.

                Her advancing years only whetted her appetite for drama. Her beloved yet criticized niece, Big Mim, said it was because Aunt Tally had no sex life. She stirred up other people's hormones.

                Upon hearing this, Tally snapped, "Of course I have no sex life. There are no men over ninety and those under ninety won't look at me. You find me a beau and I'll wear him out. I'm still hell in bed, Marilyn, and don't you forget it!"

                "Dear God, spare me," Big Mim murmured through her frosted-bronze lipstick.

                This was said in front of Reverend Jones, Miranda, Susan and Ned Tucker, as well as Lottie Pearson, who arrived early so as to mix with the older crowd, ever trolling for major donors to the university. There was no way Big Mim could be spared.

                "Well, what are you all staring at with your mouths hanging open? Catch flies that way." Tally flicked out her silver hound's-head cane at the assembled. Before she could further berate the small gathering, the doors were flung open and everyone else seemed to arrive at once. The O'Bannons, extremely merry, roared in. Roger wore a sprig of mint in his sports coat for reasons known only to himself and Jim Beam. Sean kissed Aunt Tally repeatedly. She was oath to let him go.

                Ned Tucker realized that Aunt Tally's servants, almost as old as the great lady herself, would never be able to pass the hors d'oeuvres and drinks fast enough. He hastily directed people to the bar, a temporary measure. He then called the band director of Crozet High School, an old friend, telling him to send a couple of kids over to ass food around. He'd make a contribution to Crozet High.

                He no sooner hung up the phone when BoomBoom swirled in, he diaphanous skirt of her spring dress, a pastel lavender, catching light and the breeze. Next to BoomBoom, in line to meet Aunt Tally, stood Thomas Steinmetz, blond, middle-aged, impeccably dressed, this was a man who flew to London at a whim to be measured for shirts at Turnbull Asser, suits from shops on Jermyn Street, and shoes from Lobb's or Maxwells. Standing behind Thomas was Diego, also impeccably turned out, a bright turquoise handkerchief n his silk-and-linen jacket breast pocket.

                Tally's sharp eye missed nothing."Harrow?" she asked Thomas.