Catch As Cat Can

                Harry drove home feeling the day had improved considerably. She turned down her long farm road to the house she noticed a learning BMW 740il parked in front of the barn. The car belonged to BoomBoom Craycroft, a marvelously beautiful woman who had had an affair with Harry's husband, making her a least favorite of Harry's. Granted, BoomBoom had slept with Fair Haristeen after Harry had separated from him. Still, the affair had lasted for about six months. Harry was devastated. Of all women, BoomBoom! She had competed against the tall beauty since grade school. Harry usually won the athletic and intellectual events, although BoomBoom ran a close second along with Harry's best friend, Susan Tucker. But where no female classmate could compete with Boom was her effect on the male of the species. Most men, especially when they were young and not wise in feminine wiles, fell for BoomBoom like the proverbial ton of bricks.

                The two women had managed an accord over the last few years but that was the extent of it.

                "Damn, damn, damn," Harry whispered under her breath.

                "If you'd let me catch that rat she would have come and gone," Tucker unhelpfully suggested.

                "Tucker, shut up. You know how they can get. It's all hands on deck." Mrs. Murphy put her paws on the dash.

                5

                I'm so glad you're here. I was just about to leave," BoomBoom effused as the three horses watched her from the paddock.

                "We're in luck," Harry dryly replied as Mrs. Murphy, Pewter, and Tucker scrambled to see who could get out of the truck first.

                Pewter won only because she used Mrs. Murphy's back, banking off her to touch the edge of the seat, then slide down, front paws onto the running board and onto the ground.

                "I don't believe you did that!" Murphy was furious.

                "Toodle-oo." The gray cat made a beeline for the house, where she knew a large bowl of crunchies waited on the kitchen counter.

                "Pretty good for a fat girl." Tucker eased herself down.

                "Don't take up for her."

                "I'm not but it is amazing."

                The cat replied with a laugh, "You're right, though, she con be agile when she has to be. .After all, she is a cat."

                "Self-regarding, you cats." Tucker walked over to greet BoomBoom, who leaned over, petting the dog's glossy head.

                Mrs. Murphy, now out of sorts, thumped into the barn, walked into the tack room, sat down hard, and shouted at the tiny mouse-hole in the wall, "I know you're in there. I tell you, you'll be mouse soufflé before Memorial Day."

                The mice, sound asleep, didn't reply. Further agitated, the cat returned to the house, where the humans had now repaired. Maybe she could irritate someone in there.

                Despite her antipathy, Harry had minded her manners and invited BoomBoom into the house for tea or a soft drink.

                BoomBoom sat in the living room, ensconced in one of the old wing chairs Harry's parents had bought forty years ago for five dollars apiece because they were circa 1930s, unfashionable at the time, and beat-up. Since then they'd been re-covered five times; the last time, before her death, Harry's mother had had them redone in soft green leather, an

extravagance on the one hand but a prudent expense if one considered the long run. The chances were that Harry would never have to re-cover the chairs in her lifetime.

                "I have a teeny-weeny problem." BoomBoom cast her eyes downward, which meant the problem had just increased in size."I'm hoping you'll help me."

                "Oh. Why not ask Susan?" Harry volunteered her best friend, who got along with BoomBoom better than Harry did.

                "Susan is married."

                "Ah." Harry was getting the picture.

                Mrs. Murphy strode into the room, sat down on the coffee table, and yelled, "Everybody is horrible! Only I am perfect."

                "Murphy, what's the matter with you?" Harry swatted at her to leave the room.

                The tiger cat eluded this clumsy effort by jumping onto the wing chair, taking up residence on the back behind BoomBoom's beautiful, long blond hair, held up in a simple swirled French twist. Having just left the hairdresser's, BoomBoom's tresses were lighter than usual."BoomBoom has big bosoms. Bet she blacks her eye when she jogs. Bet it's hard to bend over and stand up again. Maybe her face just hits the floor," she warbled, quite pleased with herself.

                "Boom, push her off of there. She's being naughty."

                "I don't mind the noise. The tuna breath is what gets me." BoomBoom laughed.

                "Tuna breath?" Mrs. Murphy's eyes widened, the beautiful electric color, seemingly brighter. She unleashed one dagger claw, expertly hooking it into the pretty tortoiseshell clip holding up Boom's hair. With a flick she dislodged half of it so Boom's golden hair fell out of place.

                "Now that is enough!" Harry, angry, stood up, grabbed the cat-who offered no resistance-and dropped her to the floor. 'One more stunt like that and you're sleeping in the barn tonight."

                Pewter, observing the display, coolly said, "She's only doing what 'you'd like to do, Mom. You can't stand BoomBoom."

                "Right." Mrs. Murphy, emboldened by the support of Pewter, emitted another yowl.