Blindsight

“You have a naïve understanding of evolutionary processes. There’s no such thing as survival of the fittest. Survival of the most adequate, maybe. It doesn’t matter whether a solution’s optimal. All that matters is whether it beats the alternatives.”

I knew that voice too. It belonged to a demon.

“Well, we damn well beat the alternatives.” Some subtle overdubbed harmonic in James’ voice suggested a chorus: the whole Gang, rising as one in opposition.

I couldn’t believe it. I’d just been mutilated, beaten before their eyes — and they were talking about biology?

Maybe she’s afraid to talk about anything else, I thought. Maybe she’s afraid she might be next.

Or maybe she just couldn’t care less what happens to me.

“It’s true,” Sarasti told her, “that your intellect makes up for your self-awareness to some extent. But you’re flightless birds on a remote island. You’re not so much successful as isolated from any real competition.”

No more clipped speech patterns. No more terse phrasing. The transient had made his kill, found his release. Now he didn’t care who knew he was around.

“You?” Michelle whispered. “Not we?”

“We stop racing long ago,” the demon said at last. “It’s not our fault you don’t leave it at that.”

“Ah.” Cunningham again. “Welcome back. Did you look in on Ke—”

“No.” Bates said.

“Satisfied?” the demon asked.

“If you mean the grunts, I’m satisfied you’re out of them,” Bates said. “If you mean — it was completely unwarranted, Jukka.”

“It isn’t.”

“You assaulted a crewmember. If we had a brig you’d be in it for the rest of the trip.”

“This isn’t a military vessel, Major. You’re not in charge.”

I didn’t need a visual feed to know what Bates thought of that. But there was something else in her silence, something that made me bring the drum camera back online. I squinted against the corrosive light, brought down the brightness until all that remained was a faint whisper of pastels.

Yes. Bates. Stepping off the stairway onto the deck.

“Grab a chair,” Cunningham said from his seat in the Commons. “It’s golden oldies time.”

There was something about her.

“I’m sick of that song,” Bates said. “We’ve played it to death.”

Even now, my tools chipped and battered, my perceptions barely more than baseline, I could see the change. This torture of prisoners, this assault upon crew, had crossed a line in her head. The others wouldn’t see it. The lid on her affect was tight as a boilerplate. But even through the dim shadows of my window the topology glowed around her like neon.

Amanda Bates was no longer merely considering a change of command. Now it was only a matter of when.

* * *

The universe was closed and concentric.

My tiny refuge lay in its center. Outside that shell was another, ruled by a monster, patrolled by his lackeys. Beyond that was another still, containing something even more monstrous and incomprehensible, something that might soon devour us all.

There was nothing else. Earth was a vague hypothesis, irrelevant to this pocket cosmos. I saw no place into which it might fit.

I stayed in the center of the universe for a long time, hiding. I kept the lights off. I didn’t eat. I crept from my tent only to piss or shit in the cramped head down at Fab, and only when the spine was deserted. A field of painful blisters rose across my flash-burned back, as densely packed as kernels on a corncob. The slightest abrasion tore them open.

Nobody tapped at my door, nobody called my name through ConSensus. I wouldn’t have answered if they had. Maybe they knew that, somehow. Maybe they kept their distance out of respect for my privacy and my disgrace.

Maybe they just didn’t give a shit.

I peeked outside now and then, kept an eye on Tactical. I saw Scylla and Charybdis climb into the accretion belt and return towing captured reaction mass in a great distended mesh between them. I watched our ampsat reach its destination in the middle of nowhere, saw antimatter’s quantum blueprints stream down into Theseus’s buffers. Mass and specs combined in Fab, topped up our reserves, forged the tools that Jukka Sarasti needed for his master plan, whatever that was.

Maybe he’d lose. Maybe Rorschach would kill us all, but not before it had played with Sarasti the way Sarasti had played with me. That would almost make it worthwhile. Or maybe Bates’ mutiny would come first, and succeed. Maybe she would slay the monster, and commandeer the ship, and take us all to safety.

But then I remembered: the universe was closed, and so very small. There was really nowhere else to go.