Black Mask (Vol. 22, No. 2 — Mary 1939)

Black Mask (Vol. 22, No. 2 — Mary 1939)

Behind the Black Mask

In working out an Oliver Quade story I always determine, first, the background for the yam. I generally try to have an original or colorful setting for a yarn. This isn’t always as simple as it sounds.

Although Hollywood backgrounds have been used repeatedly by other writers, I’d never done a Hollywood story. Mainly because I’d never been in Hollywood until recently and I always believe I should know a little of a background, from personal observation.

So, when the opportunity presented itself for a Hollywood trip, I decided to write a story with a Hollywood background. After giving it some thought I came to the conclusion that just about every phase of Hollywood had been covered by other writers — except the animated cartoon studio.

The thought struck a responsive note in me, for I’m very fond of Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck... So I emerged with Desmond Dogg and “FUNNY MAN,” in this issue of BLACK MASK.

To Mr. Hugh Harman of the Harman-Ising Cartoon Studios, I am indebted for the courtesy of a personally conducted tour through a “cartoon factory.” I want it understood, though, that none of the characters or situations in “FUNNY MAN” refer in any way to the Harman-Ising Studios. They are entirely fictitious, only the factual material and the “atmosphere” was obtained from H-I.

For the benefit of those who came in late, I’d like to report that Oliver Quade will soon be portrayed in a motion picture, Paramount Pictures having bought the film rights to all the Quade stories, for Lynn Overman. The story now “in the works” is “DOG SHOW MURDER,” which appeared originally in the March, 1938, issue of BLACK MASK.

I hope every reader of BLACK MASK goes to see this picture at least ten times, for if it’s a success there’ll be more Oliver Quade pictures.

I’ve promised myself a treat. If “FUNNY MAN” is ever filmed and I’m still around Hollywood, I’m going to see Mr. Lynn Overman do the scene where he imitates Desmond Dogg.

— Frank Gruber

Funny Man by Frank Gruber

Oliver Quade plays havoc with a Hollywood murderer.

* * *

Charlie Boston grabbed Oliver Quade’s arm. “Look,” he said, “a movie studio!”

Quade twisted the wheel to the right, stepped on the brakes. The motor of the dilapidated jallopy expired with a wheezing sigh.

Quade looked across the street. “All right, it’s a studio,” he said. “They do have studios in Hollywood, you know.”

“The sign by the gate says Slocum Studios.” Charlie Boston’s voice was eager. “Do you suppose this is the place where Hedy Lamarr works?”

“And if it is, would she want to see you? Come on, we’ve got things to do. We’ve got to get located. After all, we were lucky to make it from San Bernardino on three gallons of gas.” He looked hopefully at Charlie Boston. “I don’t suppose, Charlie, you’ve got a stray quarter — or even a dime, somewhere about you?”

“You know damn well I haven’t. You got my last cent in Arizona.”

“In that case, I guess I’ve got to go to work. Before I’m even a half-hour in Hollywood.”

“Where can you work around here?”

“Right there,” said Quade, “Where all those people are hanging around the studio gate. If I work fast I won’t need a peddler’s license.”

He opened the door of the flivver beside him and it came away in his hand. “If we ever get any money, Charlie, we’ll buy a new car and send this one to China.”

He walked across the street toward the studio gate. Before he quite reached it he turned to the right and stopped with his back against the stucco wall.

He raised his hands dramatically and began talking in a voice that rolled out over Wilshire Boulevard and drowned out the noise of the traffic.

“I’m Oliver Quade, the Human Encyclopedia!” he boomed. “I know the answers to all questions. I know the distance to the moon and the sun. I can name all the presidents and vice presidents. I can recite the batting averages of every major league baseball player. I am the Human Encyclopedia, the walking compendium of human knowledge.”

There were twenty or thirty people already hanging around the gates when Quade began talking. Inside of thirty seconds the number had doubled. A crowd draws a larger crowd. This is true, anywhere. In Hollywood it is doubly so. Hollywood has more freaks than any other city in the country; and they always have time to listen to another freak.

Quade thundered on: “I know the answers to all questions. I bar no holds. I’ll answer any question on history, science, mathematics, business or sports. Try me out, someone. Make me prove what I say. Ask me a question!”

“Is it going to rain today?”