Bird box

They used his voice because they knew you’d recognize it. This is it, Malorie.

This is the moment you’re supposed to open your eyes.

How green is the grass? How colorful are the leaves? How red is the blood of the birds that spreads through the river beneath her?

“Mommy!” the Boy calls.

Mommy has to open her eyes, she wants to say. Mommy has to look.

But the birds have gone mad.

“Mommy!” the Boy says again.

She answers. She hardly recognizes her own voice.

“What is it, Boy?”

“Something is here with us, Mommy. Something is right here.”

The rowboat stops.

Something has stopped it.

She can hear it move in the water beside them.

It’s not an animal, she thinks. It’s not Gary. It’s the thing you’ve been hiding from for four and a half years. It’s the thing that won’t let you look outside.

Malorie readies herself.

There is something in the water to her left. Inches from her arm.

The birds above are growing distant. As if rising, rising, in a lunatic rush toward the ends of the sky.

She can feel the presence of something beside her.

The birds are growing quieter. Quieting. They fade. Rising. Gone.

Tom’s voice continues. The river flows around the rowboat.

Malorie screams when she feels her blindfold being pulled from her face.

She does not move.

The blindfold stops an inch from her closed eyes.

Can she hear it? Breathing? Is that what she hears? Is that it?

Tom, she thinks, Tom is leaving a message.

His voice echoes across the river. He sounds so hopeful. Alive.

Tom. I’m going to have to open my eyes. Talk to me. Please. Tell me what to do. Tom, I’m going to have to open my eyes.

His voice comes from ahead. He sounds like the sun, the only light in all this darkness.

The blindfold is pulled an inch farther from her face. The knot presses against the back of her head.

Tom, I’m going to have to open my eyes.

And, so . . .

forty-two

. . . she does.

Malorie sits up in bed and grips her belly before she understands that she has been howling for some time already. The bed is soaking wet.

Two men rush into the room. It is all so dreamy

(Am I really having a baby? A baby? I was pregnant this whole time?)

and so frightening

(Where’s Shannon? Where is Mother?)

that, at first, she does not recognize them as Felix and Jules.

“Holy shit,” Felix says. “Olympia is already up there. Olympia started maybe two hours ago.”

Up where? Malorie thinks. Up where?

The men are careful with her and help her ease to the edge of the bed.

“Are you ready to do this?” Jules asks anxiously.

Malorie just looks at him, her brow furrowed, her face pink and pale at once.

“I was sleeping,” she says. “I was just . . . up where, Felix?”

“She’s ready,” Jules says, forcing a smile, trying to comfort her. “You look wonderful, Malorie. You look ready.”

She starts to ask, “Up—”

But Felix tells her before she finishes.

“We’re going to do this in the attic. Tom says it’s the safest place in the house. In case something were to happen. But nothing’s going to happen. Olympia’s up there already. She’s been going for two hours. Tom and Cheryl are up there with her. Don’t worry, Malorie. We’ll do everything we can.”

Malorie doesn’t answer. The feeling of something inside her that must get out is the most horrifying and incredible feeling she’s ever known. The men have her, one under each arm, and they walk her out of the room, over the threshold, and down the hall toward the rear of the house. The attic stairs are already pulled down and as they steady her, Malorie sees the blankets covering the window at the end of the hall. She wonders what time of day it is. If it’s the next night. If it’s a week later.

Am I really having my baby? Now?

Felix and Jules help her up the old wooden steps. She can hear Olympia upstairs. And Tom’s gentle voice, saying things like breathe, you’ll be fine, you’re okay.

“Maybe it won’t be so different after all,” she says (the men, thank God, helping her up the creaking steps). “Maybe it won’t be so different from how I hoped it would go.”

There is more room up here than she pictured. A single candle lights the space. Olympia is on a towel on the ground. Cheryl is beside her. Olympia’s knees are lifted and a thin bedsheet covers her from the waist down. Jules helps her onto her own towel facing Olympia. Tom approaches Malorie.