Ashes of the Fallen

Then a leap and a lunge followed by a swipe of a claw and a bite from the mouth of the bear as Selene retreated nimbly between the trees. She dodged and evaded the bear's ferocious attacks as she bounced around, firing arrow after arrow without breaking a step. The white bear became a pincushion in quick succession as wooden shafts and fletching marred the creature's chest.

It roared again, charging blindly as if it had nothing to lose while arrows continued to pelt it. The bear's movements began to appear sluggish, as the gradual damage brought on by the nearly thirty arrows had accumulated.

Dragging its feet, the bear's chest started to heave as it struggled to breathe. A few more steps and it then collapsed to the soft grassy ground below. Still alive but in a critical state, Selene slowly walked over and stood by as she watched it bleed out.

She had a small dagger at her side, except it wasn't of much use against the thick hide and muscles of the bear. The far safer approach, was to watch it bleed it out, rather than risk imminent bodily harm.

"You did well," I said with a light clap and a slight smile, as I stepped out from behind a tree. Having watched the entire fight, I was able to witness her development firsthand. She wasn't sitting idly by while I hunted goblins in a dungeon, no, she was obviously quite a busy-body.

Startled, she turned back twice to check if her vision was playing tricks on her before realizing that I was, indeed, standing in front of her. As if she were a child caught red-handed, she blushed and seemed embarrassed.

"Saw it all, did you," she asked as she looked away and started to cut up the bear.

"You've improved considerably since the days of the Earl," I stated clearly as I crouched down beside her. "You know, I can't help but wonder if you're mad at me."

The last line was misdirection, though I knew there could be a faint possibility that it held some truth, the likelihood of that being the case struck me as slim to none. Kate and I had both come to the conclusion, ages ago, that Selene suffered from some sort of survivor's guilt and felt, if she wasn't the most reliable person in the group, she was doing something wrong.

Sure, she was a bit useless the last time… that was the reality.

Yet even so, she was too hard on herself.

Selene didn't reply to me for a while as I sat within arm's reach, staying silent as she worked on the bear's hide. What seemed like fifteen minutes had passed before she finally started to talk, slowly at first, then eventually fully opening up.

"I'm tired of being the one that relies on others, while everyone carries their weight and more," she explained as she stabbed her dagger into the bear's hind-muscles. "Everyone looks at me as if I'm the one to lead, there is always expectation from me, and then when the hunts start, I'm the one looking from behind.

"We led the warriors on an expedition while you were gone, to learn to hunt in teams and gain familiarity with each other. At the start, they came to me to ask questions, by the end, they only asked Katherine."

She continued on for a little longer, as I contemplated what she was saying.

Only nodding and saying little one word phrases to let her know I was paying attention, I mainly stayed silent. Preferring to listen rather than talk when someone was having a heart-to-heart. Though, her problems sounded… as if she were struggling slightly with jealousy, and maybe a combination of failing to reach her ideals.

I was familiar with the latter part.

"You know, I often failed a lot when I was younger, still do really," I said with a soft, calming voice. "Personally, it always bothers me as I don't forget those failures but I've learned to live with it. It's bound to happen, where you won't succeed. The important part is not letting it detract from who you are."

That was the truth… though to say I could always follow through with it, would be a lie in itself. Preaching to the choir or the blind leading the blind, whichever case it was, knowing what to do and actually sticking to it were two different things.

Yeah, I was escaping from my reality in this very game.

My whole existence here was a lie.

"You make it all sound so easy," she countered as she sat down and faced me.

"I'm guilty of it too," I stated with a shallow laugh at myself. "At least, I'm aware of the lapses and the mistakes, that's what I tell myself afterwards."

"I've yet to see you fail, so how can you compare?" she asked seriously, with a fierce look in her eyes. Those solid titanium gray eyes of hers, with a hint of bronze in the sunlight, seemed to pierce right through me.

"I died in the Rattanorv cave, didn't I?" I countered.

"That was your decision, so that we could escape, it was noble of you… even if you don't die," she lamented with a snicker. "Things would be different if we didn't die."

"Then why cut yourself off from the rest of us?" I inquired with a raise of my brow.