Apostles of Doom

Reggie groaned as the dining hall disappeared around him. He was right in the middle of hearing Sekhmekt and Talarius regale them with their stories of battling the Knights of Chaos. He sighed as his mistress appeared before him along with her associate, Astor-Thoth.

His mistress, dressed as always in an extremely cleavage-enhancing dress, looked at him in puzzlement. “My slave, why do you seem so disappointed to see me? Do we not always have great pleasure together?”

Reggie bowed. “We do. I am sorry, mistress. It is simply that things where I live in the Abyss have been quite exciting and I was listening to Sekhmekt recount the day’s battle with the Knights of Chaos.”

Merit-Ptah blinked and got a blank expression on her face.

Astor-Thoth gasped, and Reggie looked curiously at the man. He seemed to have gone into something resembling shock. “Sekhmekt?” he asked.

“Yes, incredible warrior; she’s the wife of my buddy, Phaestus. We went and got her from their palace when we detected the Knights of Chaos approaching. Phaestus said she’d be really annoyed if she didn’t get to slay any.” Reggie shook his head in amazement. “And let me tell you, she killed a lot of them. It was glorious!”

Astor-Thoth sat down heavily in the chair behind him as Merit-Ptah continued to simply stare at Reggie. Reggie was not sure why they seemed so surprised. He looked around at the new lab; they were clearly still unpacking. It was interesting that the walls of their new place seemed to be made of white-painted adobe.

Merit-Ptah blinked slowly and sat down herself.

“This ‘buddy’ of yours, Phaestus? Does he have any other names?” Astor-Thoth asked.

Reggie shrugged. “Yeah, a whole pile, but he told me to call him Phaestus. Let’s see, Sekhmekt calls him Peter, or more like Peta, really. The djinn call him Vulcan, or something like a volcano. Which is interesting because he and his friend Völund actually built the volcano fortress we are living in.” Reggie’s eyes had gone back to his mistress’s cleavage. It really isn’t that bad being here, he reflected, staring at the large chocolate globes barely concealed by the dress.

“I probably should have asked this sooner, Merit-Ptah said slowly, “but where exactly do you live in the Abyss?”

“Oh, well, I just moved in a few days back myself. It’s this volcano called Mount Doom. My best friend, someone I knew before you summoned me, just restarted it. That’s where I’ve been. He had this big swearing-in ceremony where all the D’Orcs swore allegiance to him, and then we had this big party.”

Reggie tilted his head, thinking. “And then, surprise, surprise, while we were all hung over, Lilith sends an army of demons and a Chaos Maelstrom to try and take Mount Doom.” He shook his head from side to side, not noticing the expression on the two humans’ faces. “That’s when Phaestus, Boggy and I headed up to the moon to get Sekhmekt.”

There was a thud as Astor-Thoth slid off his chair, passed out cold.

That was rather odd of him, Reggie thought. He’s always seemed so calm and in control.

Merit-Ptah was just staring at him as if in shock. Reggie was not sure what was up with her. “Mistress?” he asked. “Are you okay? Shall we hit the bed?”

It took a moment but his mistress shook her head suddenly. “No, no thank you, Reggie.” She paused for a moment. “You’ve had a very big day. I think we can postpone tonight’s session so you don’t have to miss the after-battle tales.”

Merit-Ptah stood and gestured. “Return to the Abyss, my servant.”

Reggie felt himself fade out, back to the dining hall. How very odd, the incubus thought.

Mount Doom

“Back so soon?” Phaestus asked as Reggie faded back in. Unsurprisingly, Phaestus, Sekhmekt, Völund, Talarius, Morok Deathstealer, Roth Tar Gorefest, along with a number of D’Orcs and a few demons that Reggie didn’t know, were all still where he’d left them a few minutes ago.

“Yeah, my accursed mistress asked why I didn’t seem as happy to see her as usual—”

“You do know it is extremely odd for a demon to want to see their mistress or master, yes?” Boggy interrupted, shaking his head.

“You have not seen my mistress!” Reggie chuckled and gave Boggy a suggestive leer. Boggy laughed as Reggie made a motion with his lower arms describing his mistress’s voluptuous shape. “Anyway, I explained that we were telling our tales of battle and when I mentioned you guys”—he gestured to Sekhmekt and Phaestus—“they got really weird. Astor-Thoth even passed out!”

Sekhmekt blinked and looked at Reggie more closely. “Astor-Thoth… that’s not a common name. Who is he? You said you are bound to a mistress?” Both she and Phaestus were looking at him curiously.

“My mistress is Merit-Ptah; Astor-Thoth is her associate,” Reggie said. “Hey, I just realized her last name is very similar to that other name of yours, pêTah.” He gestured to Phaestus.