Alfie in the Snow

It was a pleasant journey after that. I could just about poke my head out and check out the scenery, which was always different from this vantage point. Instead of seeing – and dodging – feet, we could see the people more clearly. And the cars – there were so many cars revving along the road. Although it was warm inside Aleksy’s jacket, the top of my head felt cold. I willed Aleksy and Tommy to be careful when crossing but they were very sensible, thankfully. I noted a couple of dogs being taken on their walks and women pushing prams, the way our ladies used to when our children were younger. Goodness, when I first met Tommy all those years ago he was still just about in a pushchair. And look at him now. Time passes, that’s what it does, and although we have to carry our hurts and our grief with us, it showed me, yet again, how we all have to keep moving forward.

It was funny, on this walk I was watching life, and it was passing us, bumping us, moving around us, and that was what life did. It made me realise, from my home in Aleksy’s jacket, how absorbed we get into our own little worlds and I found some kind of comfort in seeing a bigger world. I wondered what Tiger would have thought if she’d known what we were about to do. I imagined her chuckling and telling us how mad we were but also being impatient for us to get back and relay the story to her. She would have told me to make sure George was alright but, other than that, she’d have liked this one. I would tell her later, in my head, and in my heart, because that was where she lived now.

I tried to rein in my emotions as we reached the school. Tommy told us both to keep down as they zipped their jackets up. Surely it was obvious we were there, bumps poking out of coats? It was pitch black so I couldn’t see anything, but my hearing was very good. Aleksy greeted the adults, Tommy was quiet. Claire had got them all seats near the front and so they rushed in. Aleksy sat down with me on the end, hoping no one would notice me, and Tommy said he needed the toilet. Luckily he had been to this school himself, not so long ago, so he knew where everything was. I was still locked in the jacket so I couldn’t tell you what was happening but by the sound of scuffles on the floor and chairs scraping impatiently the hall was filling up. People greeted each other, chattering excitedly. Parents were all desperate to see their little ones appear on stage. I just hoped that we weren’t going to ruin it for them. Although I thought that, mad as Tommy’s plan was, it was also quite funny and harmless. And it had brought Toby and Henry back together, so I was still very proud of the boy.

Tommy reappeared and took his seat next to Aleksy with his dad on the other side. I was pleased that all the family was here, but then, as Tomasz said, it wouldn’t be Christmas without going to a nativity, and now his boys didn’t have them any more, he was glad they could still come. Not long ago I had thought that Sylvie and Connie would be joining us but, of course, that hadn’t worked out. I knew that not everyone could be friends, but I still didn’t understand why not. The loneliness coming from next door was bothering me but, as the lights were turned down and the headmistress appeared on stage, I put that to one side. We had a play to watch.

I was allowed a peek out of the jacket to watch. I didn’t dare look around too much, lest I was noticed. But after the headmistress welcomed everyone – I like to think she included me – she introduced the play and then I noticed people taking out their phones. Tommy did the same; they were either taking photos or filming.

The music struck and the singing began. Toby looked so cute in a robe and what looked like a tea towel on his head, but I noticed the donkey couldn’t stop laughing as Toby kept trying to pull his hand away from his Mary. I saw Summer twirling on the stage as a star and she really did pretty much command the centre of the stage, which I wasn’t sure she was supposed to. Then Martha came on as an angel and, actually, she really was a little angel. The angels sang a song and then the oldest one spoke to a scowling Toby and his Mary.

At one point a teacher appeared to move everyone, as it had got a little confusing. I was pretty sure I knew the story of the nativity well; I think Summer was supposed to move with the other stars to the back of the stage after singing to the shepherds, but she seemed to want to stay right at the front. I imagined Claire had her head in her hands at this point. A shouty boy told Toby there was ‘no room at the inn’. I have to say Toby looked quite relieved but I’m not sure he was meant to. Then they were directed to the stable and I braced myself.