Alfie in the Snow

‘But we don’t know exactly when I will never see you again?’ George asked. He seemed composed but I was still unsure what he was comprehending, after all it was huge.

‘No, we don’t know for sure,’ I said. ‘But we have been led to believe that it’s not going to be long.’

‘Before Christmas?’ George asked. I hadn’t thought about that, I hadn’t thought about this being close to Christmas. Would this be Tiger’s last ever Christmas, would she even make it to Christmas? It was unbearable.

‘I honestly don’t know, George, but I won’t be able to come out much, so you’ll have to come and see me. I’m pretty sure my family will be alright with that but come even if they aren’t, because I want to see you.’

‘I want to see you too, Tiger mum, and I promise that I’ll come in, whether they shout or not. But please, try to be here for Christmas. I don’t want to have Christmas without you.’

‘And nor do I, love,’ Tiger said and I could see she was about to cry, in a cat way of course.

George seemed to accept this and I was relieved. He was behaving with a maturity I didn’t always credit him with.

‘Do you mind if I go now? I need to think,’ he said.

‘Of course, but come and see me later?’ Tiger asked, giving him a nuzzle.

‘I will, Tiger mum.’

As George went off, we decided that I ought to go and fill the other neighbourhood cats in on the situation. Tiger didn’t think that she would be able to make it. Not only was she feeling weak but she was also distraught about George.

‘I’m not sure he understood,’ she said, clearly worried, on top of the fact she was also exhausted. Whatever this illness was, it had changed her almost beyond all recognition already, she was a shrunken version of herself and she was struggling. I knew she was in pain too, but she refused to complain about that.

‘No, but we’ll help him, and you know he needs time to let the news sink in.’ I knew I had needed time and I wasn’t sure it had still fully sunk in with me.

‘You promise you’ll take care of him, when I’m gone.’

‘You know I will,’ I said. ‘But let’s not speak of that.’

I didn’t know why but I was suddenly filled with optimism that this would all sort itself out. She said that the vet told her family she wouldn’t get better but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t. Vets weren’t always right. I had heard Claire say the same about doctors. What if they’d got it wrong, what if Tiger was just bad now but would recover? She wasn’t that old, not even in cat terms, and by rights she should have years left in her. And I knew that due to her laziness she hadn’t even used up half of her nine lives. No, I narrowed my eyes, there was no way that Tiger could die.

‘But you have to promise me something,’ I said, suddenly energised.

‘What?’

‘That you’ll try to fight this illness. For me, and for our boy.’

‘I will, Alfie.’ But I could hear the hopelessness in her voice. She didn’t think she could, but luckily I had enough belief for all of us.

I left her to rest as I went to see the other cats. Rocky, Elvis and Nellie were joined by Tinkerbell, a cat who was a boy, but had a girl’s name. He didn’t often hang out with us, he was normally too busy looking for food, but he did at times, and was a very pleasant cat, one I was happy to call a friend.

‘Have you seen George?’ I asked.

‘Yes, he ran past here a while back, going at some speed I should say,’ Nellie said.

‘When I asked him where he was going, he shouted back that he had to be somewhere important. Well, I don’t know about you, but I don’t see anywhere important at that end of the street.’ Rocky sounded confused.

‘And it’s not like the boy not to stop and pass the time of day,’ Elvis said.

‘Maybe he heard about somewhere to get food.’ Tinkerbell narrowed his eyes, as if he was thinking about following him, but then he sat down. ‘Not to worry, I’ve just had two lunches.’

I filled them in on Tiger’s situation. Nellie immediately started yowling. Elvis and Rocky seemed very quiet.

‘I knew there was something amiss. I mean, we’ve barely seen her and normally she’s always with you or the lad,’ Rocky said, eventually, his voice full of emotion.

‘I don’t know, the place won’t be the same without her,’ Elvis said.

‘She’s not gone yet. She might recover,’ I said.

‘In my experience, when the vet says your days are numbered, they are generally right,’ Tinkerbell said. ‘And, Alfie, I’m not trying to be mean but, you know, sometimes it’s better to try to accept it, especially as you’ve got George to think about.’

‘I know but I just don’t want to lose her,’ I said, lying down on the soft grass, feeling like I never wanted to get up again.

‘Hey, we’ll be here for you, and the lad, and Tiger of course. How about tomorrow morning we go to her garden, show her our support?’ Rocky said.

‘That’s a good idea,’ Nellie agreed. She had come over to nuzzle me, we were all united in grief.