Agatha H and the Voice of the Castle

The old man blew out an embarrassed breath and stood up. “A ‘thank you’, is it?” He jammed his hands into his pockets. A moment later, he realized that the pipe he held was still lit and he pulled it back out of his pocket and waved it at Agatha impatiently. “Now I know you’re not a member of the family!” He looked away and after a moment continued:

“The Lady Lucrezia was missing…”

It took four Jägers and two of the bone puppet golems to smash down the doors to Lucrezia’s laboratory. Inside, clouds of acrid smoke rose from the large fireplace. Wearing a breathing filter, Carson pushed through and saw the remnants of charred file boxes. The Lady Lucrezia’s precious notes. In the ashes below he saw the smashed remains of vessels that, from their markings, had contained volatile chemical accelerants. He felt his skin begin to tingle and checked the seal on his filter. Crumpled before this pyre was the pale form of the Lady’s mysterious, nameless warrior-assistant. Her pupil-less eyes stared upwards and an ugly gash had opened her throat. The rest of the room gave testament to a pitched battle, with glassware and equipment tossed about and thoroughly smashed.

The Heterodyne Boys returned within hours, and Carson was there—waiting for them in the front hall. Master Bill nearly went insane. It took two of the Jägergenerals to hold him down, roaring and swearing. The Three Prometheans finally managed to convince him that the young Master was beyond hope. Even they—the Heterodyne’s ancient and final arbiters of death and non-death—had been crying, and when Master William damned them to the Caverns of the Red Slow, they had merely bowed in unison and gone their way without protest.

Master Barry surrounded himself with a deadly calm. He was the one who took charge and made sure that all who had been within the Castle were rescued or accounted for.

Carson paused. “Except for the Lady Lucrezia. There was no sign of her anywhere, and the Castle was…Well the only way to describe it is ‘raving.’ It’s gotten more coherent over the years, but then—”

He seemed to realize that he was wandering, and with an impatient shake of his head continued. “After everyone who could be rescued was rescued, and all that could be done had been done, the Heterodyne Boys secreted themselves in Master William’s laboratory.” The old man took a deep draw from his pipe and stared down the corridor of memory. “I heard them arguing. Arguing like I had never heard them do before. About what, I couldn’t tell you, but it went on for almost two days. From the sound of it, Master Barry was…more in control, but Master William was the Heterodyne and in the end Master Barry conceded. They left the next day.”

Carson paused again and reemerged into the present. He looked Agatha in the face. “And we never saw them again.” Even now there was a note of hurt betrayal in his voice. “We heard of them, of course. Everyone did. Someone was trying to wipe out the Sparks of Europa.

The following years saw the destruction of forty-three major houses. Slaver wasps and their revenants were everywhere. People thought they were seeing the End Days.

“And anywhere there was a mention of wasps, you would hear about the Heterodyne Boys. They were always in the thick of things. Always fighting the Other. Always searching for the Lady Lucrezia. For close to three years…”