Agatha H and the Voice of the Castle

Tiktoffen gave a perfunctory smile. The man before him was one of the more unpredictable of the Castle’s current residents. He was also uncannily smart, which was why he was still alive. This also explained why it had taken the Baron’s people over two years to track him down, despite his striking appearance. “Snapper,” he said. “What is it?”

The man’s mechanical teeth ground together in excitement. “There’s a Heterodyne in the Castle!”

Immediately, Tiktoffen was all interest. A new “Heterodyne” crashing through the Castle always revealed so much information. He snapped open his notebook in anticipation. “Did he come in through the Red Gate?” He turned another few pages, searching. “They promised to send the next one in through the Red Gate,” he muttered. “I’m sure there’s a deadfall we missed…”

Snapper waved his hands again. “No, sir! She made it into the Octagon! She’s alive!”

The Professor looked at him blankly. “She?”

Snapper nodded vigorously. “And she’s brought in minions!”

With that the older man took off at a dead run down the hallway. No, he thought to himself. It can’t be! He skidded to a halt in a doorway. It was.

The Octagon was a large common room where the prisoners could congregate after they finished their shifts. It was directly off the kitchen and dormitories, and it was one of the few places where they had managed to replace the maddening red emergency lights with bulbs of a normal color. It was also in one of the permanent ‘dead zones’ in the Castle, and so was a popular place for the prisoners to relax. Some even chose to sleep there, just in case.

Many of the prisoners were there now, with more arriving every minute. The tables had been shoved against the walls, and in the center, a girl was getting undressed.

She was of middling height, and—once the ridiculously elaborate ball gown she wore over everything was stripped off—wearing a sensible pair of trousers and a simple leather singlet. Disconcertingly, they were still pink, but they were obviously working clothes. When she saw the professor, she gave him a cheerful smile that only highlighted the coldness of her eyes.

“Good morning, Professor Tiktoffen.”

Tiktoffen stared at her in dismay. “Mademoiselle Zola! It is you! I can’t believe it! What the hell are you doing here? Don’t tell me you fools got sentenced here!”

Zola laughed airily. “Of course not! We came in on our own.” The watching crowd gasped. She looked around the Octagon and was obviously unimpressed. “Well? Are you ready to leave this place?”

Tiktoffen restrained himself. He so very much wanted to slap her. “I didn’t send for you,” he roared. “It’s too soon!”

The girl shrugged. “We’ve had to move things up.”

The professor opened his mouth to object—

“Another Heterodyne girl has appeared.” Despite her flippant attitude, Zola knew that Tiktoffen was smart. He instantly closed his mouth and waited.

Zola smiled. “The Baron tried to capture her. She defeated him, and in the process, announced her existence to the entire world. They were buzzing about her in Vienna when I left. We had to strike now before she gets here.”

“Is…” Tiktoffen hesitated. “Is she the real thing?” Suddenly he felt it. A vast attention was focused on them now. Tiktoffen shivered. Apparently The Octagon wasn’t as dead as they had been led to believe.

Zola shrugged. “Her pedigree is unknown. As always, the only test of import is if she can hold this castle. That’s what people will understand. It’s why you’re here, remember?”

Tiktoffen collapsed into a chair and glared at her. “Of course I do! I’ve been in here for three years. There is nothing I want more than to get out and I am telling you that it is too soon!” He slammed his book onto a nearby table. “The Council needs to know how the Castle works?²¹ That is what I have been doing! But unraveling the work of generations of lunatics takes time! I cannot tell you how to control the Castle yet! You’ve put the entire plan into jeopardy—for nothing!”

The girl picked up Tiktoffen’s treasured book and leafed through a few pages. “No, not for nothing,” she said comfortingly. “We understand that you can’t control the Castle.” She tossed the precious book into a trash barrel. “Instead, you will just have to help me kill it.”

Tiktoffen gasped as if he’d been punched in the stomach. “Kill it?” In an instant he was up on his feet and fishing the book from the barrel. “The whole point of all this was to be able to use it! Its recognition will legitimize you!”