Agatha H and the Voice of the Castle

Sanaa stared at him. “What’s that got to do with it?” A thought crossed her mind. “Oh, ewww! Othar! You’re supposed to be a gentleman adventurer!”

Othar’s face went red. “No, no, no! I mean it’s too dangerous!”

Sanaa stared at him in disbelief. “You want to hear about dangerous? A week after I left home—following you—our ship was attacked by a mechanical narwhal full of pirates!”

She paused, and it was obvious that the memories she was trawling through were not all pleasant ones. “It’s a long story, but I kind of got elected their queen and we wound up running weapons to student revolutionaries in Venice.”

Othar interrupted. “Wait, the ones who tried to overthrow the Chancellor of Ca’ Foscari—”

“—And his semi-invisible hand. Yeah, that was me. Well, after Venice sank, we wound up in the middle of the Aegean, which is where we discovered that our new ship had one of those Ulysses Engines, and what with all the time-traveling, it would take us thirteen years to go twenty-five kilometers!

“I was just sorting things out with the Spark who sold it to us, when Wulfenbach troops showed up. Everything got pinned on me, which got me sent here to Castle Heterodyne!”

She poked Othar in the chest. “So, you tell me. How can traveling with you be any more dangerous than that?”

Othar stared at her and then sighed deeply. “When can you start?”

Sanaa squealed and threw her arms around him. “Yay! You’re the best!”

Embarrassed, Othar looked around. Aside from the two of them, the hallway was empty. Sanaa straightened up. “So, how are we gonna get out of here?”

Othar scratched his head. “Well…actually, we can’t just yet.”

“Why not? You’re the one who’s always coming up with the sparky plans.”

“True enough. But I am here to rescue the Baron’s son.”

Sanaa looked interested. “Whoa! So it’s true? Old Klaus really does have a son?” She paused. “Wait—and he’s in here? Jeez, what did he do?”

Othar raised his eyebrows. “I have a list, if you’re interested.”

Sanaa stopped. “Wait—and you know him? You’re here to get him out?”

Othar sighed. “Yes.”

A light dawned in Sanaa’s eyes. “Oooh, I get it.” She put a supportive hand on Othar’s sleeve. “He’s your boyfriend, right?”

“WHAT!”

Sanaa squeezed his arm. “Othar, please. It’s totally okay. I’ve been hanging around with pirates. Anyway, there’s nothing wrong with—”

“Gilgamesh Wulfenbach is a foul villain!”

“Got it bad, do you?”

Othar rolled his eyes. “He is not even a friend, let alone—”

Sanaa interrupted, “Oh yeah? Then why did you leave Grimstaad to avoid Helga Gootergund?”⁹⁶

Othar flinched. “Helga? She vowed to brain me with a marlinspike if she ever saw me again!”

Sanaa shook her finger. “Mom says that just means you should have tried harder! Helga is smart, rich, and beautiful! Plus she can kill a frosted cave bear with her bare hands!”

“Believe me, I took that into consideration,” Othar sighed. “Anyway, she said I was crazy!”

Sanaa drew herself up furiously. “You are not crazy! You’re my brother and you’re a hero!”

Othar straightened up and gently ruffled her hair. “Why, thank you, little sister! I am touched!”

“Yeah, you sure are.” Sanaa smiled. “Now, let’s go save your—” Sanaa glanced sideways at Othar’s frown. She shifted gears. “Um… your hated enemy who is not your boyfriend at all in any way?”

Othar actually stamped his foot in frustration. “I said Gilgamesh Wulfenbach is no friend of mine, ‘boy’ or otherwise! How you could even think I could be friends with such a—”

“Okay, okay! Jeez!” Sanaa interrupted. “I get it!”

The area they were in was in rough shape. The disaster that had shattered Castle Heterodyne had toppled walls and left furniture and enigmatic machinery scattered everywhere. As Othar scrambled over a tilted floor, Sanaa tried again. “So, if this Gilgamesh guy is such a villain, shouldn’t you be taking him out? I mean, instead of rescuing him?”

Othar shrugged. “Ordinarily, yes. But I have a rather ‘under-duress’ agreement with the Baron.” He pulled aside the fabric of his sweater to reveal a metal collar with a trilobite set at the throat.

Sanaa’s breath hissed between her teeth. She herself wore a matching device—all the Castle’s prisoners wore them—and all the Castle’s prisoners knew that the collars would explode if removed or taken beyond the Castle walls.

“So you’ve got a ‘splody collar too, huh?” she said. “But you can crack it, no problem, right?”

Othar rearranged his collar. “Well, possibly. But I would have to do it perfectly the first time, yes?”

Sanaa bit her lip. She’d certainly seen her share of smart people who had guessed wrong about that. Usually spread out over several meters.⁹⁷

Othar continued. “Besides, that would take time. The fastest course is simply to grab young Wulfenbach and get him out of here. The Baron is a tyrannical fiend, but they say he does tend to keep his word in cases such as this.

“Probably only to look good in the public eye, of course,” he added.